Okay I want speed, agility, cat reflexes?

Question

I want agility, speed, reflexes, and make myself be able to think without reaction or possibly react and think fast as i can. Can someone help me or tell em how to gain fast agility. I wanna be able to learn fast, dodge pretty good, dodge anything almost. I want to jump high and think fast on my feet. Please tell me how to do this stuff and what would help. Dont say join a maritial arts class please.... -_-

Answer 1

Find a radioactive spider to bite you on your hand, and make yourself a little blue and red spandex suit.

Answer 2

Speed and agility are often linked to strength.  Work in the wt. room to improve explosive movements.  Use low wt with high reps.  Also, don't forget to strengthen your core.  Balance begins in the abs.  

The right genetics is a plus.  If your parents are slow and uncoordinated you may be doomed.