Okay...here it is..I'm g*y!?

Question

Wow...that's the first time I've ever said it (in writing or speech). I'm 27 years old, getting tired of being lonely, and want to come out of the closet. I want to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. How do I do this? My family is very homophobe and expects me to have like 10 children. But I want happiness!!! Any advice?

Answer 1

Don't listen to q****s Inc.... *Sigh* Thing needs to get banned.

Anyway, congrats on coming out. ;) I understand the whole family situation, my father used to be a huge homophobic. But honey get out and meet all the guys you can when you're still young. But after I started talking to him more and more about g**s, and how I had friends who were g*y, he became more comfortable with them. Then I came out to him and it's all okay. He still loves me because I'm his son.

He's still not as friendly with them as he should be, but it's a start and I'm proud of him. He's getting less uncomfortable with them now which makes me happy.

If any shunning comes from your family it's probably just shock. While they're busy thinking about you (and maybe refusing to see you.... :( ) go check out a g*y bar! Those are always fun, and so many sweet guys can help you, they've all been through it too!

Though with the g*y bar hon, go to a nicer one. ;)

Best of luck, my thoughts are with you~!

Answer 2

Hey I think that q***r Ink got it wrong. I think that she thinks that you are the father of 10 children and that you want to break your family.

Anyway I think that you should have gotten over the stage of coming out. Can you imagine people doing it at 13 years (I haven't done it) I think that you would feel better if you knew they know. This is my opinion even though they are homophobic, they must still have a heart.

Answer 3

i would practice in the marrior of what you r going to say to ur family and after you  come up with something  go to your family and sit then down and tell then ur secret and say its my dicition not urs and stick up for your self and feel proud

Answer 4

Wow. Just getting around to coming out at 27? That might've been me if I had'nt been outed by someone I still don't know the identity of. Well, I'm 22 and I can't say I've found out how to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. I don't think it's something that can be explained, it just has to happen. It would help if you exposed yourself to a little bit of the g*y community in your area or a nearby city. The internet could also help. Once you get a group of g*y friends, there's a much better possibility of finding someone to be with.

As for your family, they'll just have to get used to it. Mine did, well, not really, but they tolerate it from a distance now. It's not selfish to follow your own path in life. Every man has one life to live, and it's his to make what he will of it. I mean, just because what you want is different from what others want of you, it doesn't make it selfish. In fact, it would be selfish of them to expect you to sacrifice your happiness for their sake, or their insatiable desire for grandchildren.

In any case, you may have a hard fight ahead of you, so stay strong.  

Answer 5

wow. i congradulate you on coming out.

im 15 and came out 6 months ago and it was the best thing for me:)

i felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders is that how your feeeling?

Answer 6

So? Just go to a g*y bar and that's it

Answer 7

at 27 i hope you are living on your own.

and in that case you should live the way YOU see fit and if anyone including your family has a problem with it... oh well. either hide it from them or not.

it's your life i hope you will live it the way it makes you happy.

Answer 8

You need to have s*x with me. We have alot in common.

Answer 9

Congrats, i imagine announcing it to strangers is the fist step.  Next, you should tell one person who you're really close with who you think will react positively, so that you don't have it on your chest any longer.  Good luck, peace.

Answer 10

don't acknowledge q****s inc., he/she/ITs just a stupid hater, you shouldn't have to change for your family, its your life not theirs, just be happy!

Answer 11

alright start going to g*y bars.

that is a sure way to find a guy.

good luck & tell more people XD

Answer 12

just tell your family!!

hopfully they'll just be happy for you!

:)

Answer 13

First make friends who will help cure you of your lingering internalized homophobia.

If you are a Christian, check out The g*y Christian Network, a great community of 10,000 registered members who believe in God but who happen to be g*y or L*****n.  They're great, quality people to meet, share encouragement with, pray with, have fun with.

Often there are community g*y and L*****n centers, PFLAG chapters, various other support groups to check out and find out more opportunities in your area.

Once you've come out to friends, your heart will be more joyful.

You can decide to come out to family or not; perhaps some of them could be trusted and not others?

I'm glad you realize you need a boyfriend, a mate.  It is good to have someone to hold and love.

You have done a very brave thing just now.  Congratulations!  May peace, love and joy fill you, and strength surround you.  I hope that, over time, you find a wonderful guy to share your life with.

Answer 14

Your family should love you for who you are and just want happiness for you. You can't live your life trying to please others. You have to make yourself happy or what is the point of life? I don't know how it is where you live but where I live there are a lot of g*y bars and g*y activities... but I live in a city where there is a HUGE g*y population(Palm Springs).

Just know that if your family doesn't accept you for who you are then maybe you shouldn't want them in your life.

I support you and whatever decision that you make if that helps! :P

Answer 15

get a boyfriend, you are an adult now, it's only you that can make the decisions of your life...if you'll never have children that's maybe bad for them, but they have to accept it

Answer 16

Start by physically moving away from your family (I am writing with the presumption that you want real advice, and not just pablum).  Move to an area of the country where g**s are accepted -- New England, the mid Atlantic, West Coast, Southern Florida, MN/WI/IL or up to Canada.

Now, with distance from your family and a more accepting environment, you can start looking for a partner.  g*y clubs, events, and gatherings are good areas to look.  The internet is a secondary source.  g*y bars are not good areas to look and g*y dance clubs -- while enormous fun, not good on the ltrs.  

Make a g*y friend (like me for example) so you have someone to bounce ideas off from and talk to.

You can be happy, start by loving yourself.  *Hug*

Kind thoughts,

Hermes

Answer 17

Go for happiness.  I cant even believe people are saying these terrible things to you.  Tara J should take her own advice.  I am curious if she knows that the very army she speaks of is in place to defend this nation and ALL of its citizens.  This country recognizes that ALL of its citizens have the right to pursue what makes them happy, I wish you the best of luck and hope all turns out well.  I hope you are happy with yourself and find someone you can be happy with.  I hope your family will be accepting, but if they aren't I hope you will have a good support system.  Best of luck in your future endeavors.

Answer 18

Hey Brain. I know it's hard to say that your g*y at first but you start getting used to it. If you would like to chat with someone you can e-mail me and I'll talk to you. We're about the same age.