Okay so my in laws rarely call me and my girls on our birthdays.?

Question

so i started doingthis on there b-day. Is this wrong? I used to call everyone and send cards and buy gifts but i dont even get a call and happy birthday from then . But then here one of them is pissed cause she just had a bday and i didnt even bother. Its my hubbys family and i want to get along with them but they are making it immpossible. What do i do,is it wrong of me to feel like this?

Answer 1

I went through the same thing. My mother-in-law told me, "It's the wife's duty to handle sending out cards on special occasions." It's your husband's family, why are they taking it out on you? My birthday so happens to fall on a summer holiday, (July 4th) you cannot forget it, yet they do. It finally got to the point where we told them we should no longer exchange cards and gifts. Maybe you should come to that agreement, it saves a whole lot of agony. The person who is complaining about you not bothering, did they send you any greeting? Did you mention it? Your husband needs to step up to the plate and say something.

Answer 2

She may feel left out and think that you are mad at her for some reason. ... Especially if she is one of the first to not get a call or present.

I would suggest you call and apologize for missing her birthday. Then explain that you have been making sure to give everybody something for their birthday for ___ (however long it has been), but nobody has wished you or your daughters a happy birthday in return. You realized that this must not be one of their family traditions, so you stopped.

Or if you want to continue doing this, you could just be like "oops. I missed your birthday, I'm so sorry. I hope that it went well."

I do have a question ... Are you sure that they knew when it was your or your girls birthdays? They may not have meant to overlook you, but either way I don't think you should feel obligated to give them stuff all the time.

I know that you didn't do anything wrong. But sometimes it's easier / better to just apologize so that you can move forward in life.