Oki so i was snooping on his past emails...?

Question

and for my dissappointment i found tht my hubby has a lot of skeletons in his closet....a not so honourable past..full of drugs, alcohol and affairs(which were meant just to fulfil his physical needs)...hw to deal wid this...i m so sad suddenly the man i married does not exists..wht to do??

Answer 1

well, hate to say this but curiousity killed that cat :( i did the same thing with my boyfriend of 2 years and when i found all his emails and things, it hurt me. you have to ask yourself: how long ago were these emails (cause if its been like 3 years i would kinda let them go), why did you do it in the first place? (normally to do what you did and was it worth it?) you can only bring it up to him but not he might respond defensivly and you wont win the battle. you broke the trust by snoopin. its hard bc we all do it to get the thrill of seeing how clean he is. all you can do is lay low and watch but dont get envolve! control the urges chika

Answer 2

If all this occurred before you got married, you should give him the benefit of the doubt.  Get into counseling and see if you two can rebuild your trust.

Answer 3

What, do you think people don't change?  I am so very different than I was 10, 15 or 20 years ago.  I don't think I would've even liked me back then if I had met me at that time.  Most people learn from their mistakes.  You shouldn't "snoop" on your husband and you should give him the benefit of the doubt.  

Answer 4

The question is....is the man from the emails the man you are married to today?  All of us have pasts, some are good and some are not but everyone deserves the chance to change.  Perhaps he was ashamed of the person he used to be and decided to keep that person from you.  If he has changed and is a better person, then why does his past matter?  If you think he is still that person, then perhaps you might need to confront him but unless that's the case-leave his skeletons in the back of that closet and cherish the man he has made himself to be.

Answer 5

well you two should have both been open about what you two have done when you both started going out, and if you were honest with him was he honest with you? you should talk to him and tell him how you feel, and if he understands and comes clean about everything, then its going to be ok:) but you need to make sure that he confesses to everything:) good luck:) i hope that i helped:)