Old friends?

Question

Have any of you met up again with very old friends? And after reminiscing about the good old days you find that you have absolutely nothing in common with them. ? Then you realise why you actually lost touch.

I have met a friend again after 15 years and after a few emails I realise that I have nothing in common with this person only the memories of school days. So how do I tell them politely that I like them but that we will never have that type of a friendship again. (mmm I could change my email address lol)

Answer 1

Sorry I can't help.

I have a very close and closed circle of friends. My best mate I met when we were in Grade 2. We are still friends 28 years later. And the others in my circle of friends have been so for at least 13 years and we all still keep in touch and party together.

People do grow apart and change but the challenge is not to be friends with the person you knew, but to grow and change with them.

Answer 2

I have a very similar experience with regards to someone who used to be my best friend at school. Looked for him for at least 18 years, only to find him through Facebook last year. He sent an initial reply to which I sent another but have received no communication from him since then, (six months back) so I've decided to let it go. Just one of those things.

Answer 3

dont reply to their mails...they'll take the hint.

Answer 4

Yeah....I know what you mean.....I recently got back in touch with an old friend....we actually started school together, and spent a lot of time together....family holidays etc. We hadn't been in touch for a few years......but having recently spoken, it seems as though she has prematurely aged, and settled into a cosy family life. I too have a family...and my husband has granchildren from a previous marriage...but my God...I still have a life...and I'm enjoying living it!!! I just make sure the answerphone is switched on permanently.....and just pick up emails on the odd occasion!

Answer 5

I don't have any old friends left. Quit drinking 5 years ago, the friends started quiting right after.

Answer 6

6 months ago I got back in contact with one of my best friends from school. I didn't seen her for 5 years.

I found her on facebook as well and I was really happy.

We still keep in touch and talk but she has changed a lot over the past few years and who she has become is not the girl I used to know. So we're not as close as I though we would have been after 5 years of looking for each other. We keep in contact from time to time but we both realised that we have grown apart and are different people to what we used to be. Well I know for a fact I have grown and learnt from my mistakes but she hasn't.  Plus we all have new friends that I love!!

All I did was explain that we have both changed and grown as left went on. If you'd still like to keep in touch then say you would but you guys will never be as close.

We both have new friends and I for one I love all my friends, from the past and the present, but I have found myself two of the best friends anyone could ask for and we actually have the same in common. I'd not give them up for anything.

Answer 7

Just take longer and longer to answer, until one day when you do not reply any more.

We have friends like that who live in Switzerland now.  We used to be good friends in Cape Town, and first we moved away. Then we came back to SA, and they moved to Switzerland, Then we also back to Germany. And we wanted to visit them in Switzerland, and their excuse was that their house was not fixed up yet. And slowly the post trickled down to just birthday wishes, and now nothing at all.  It is very sad, though, because the woman is an alcoholic, and was hospitaliesd in SA once.  So we have to accept that (for them) the friendship was not as good as we thought it was.  Happens both ways.  People move on in their lives, and have different priorities.

Answer 8

Just tell them honestly how you feel  .  chances are they probably feel the same way

Answer 9

Well, we were best friends. But I wasn't in contact with her for a few years. We're in contact now which is awesome!

Answer 10

I used to have that problem. There comes a time in your life where you have to make a stand and say what you mean.



Send her one last email:-

While I enjoyed reminiscing over the good old school days, you must also have noticed that we don't have anything else in common anymore. I am sure you agree that we should call it a day and simply break contact. It is not my intention to upset or hurt you. I just find that we have become so different that we can’t share any topics that interest one another. I respect you which is the reason why I prefer to be honest and open towards you. Go well

Answer 11

that you are older, no wiser, but have moved onto a different place in your life, and that which you shared as young people isn't relevant any more. Just be honest.

Answer 12

I got hold of one my friends that I have not seen in 10years. Went to see him in the UK and must say I had a very nice time.

In your case I would just tell them that you think you went your own directions and maybe its should happen again.

Answer 13

Yeah I know exactly what you mean. I hooked up with a friend after years. We were quite close back then and were basically inseperable but then he moved away.

When we hooked up recently we had nothing common she was still the same person she was back then and I felt that grew up too much and had no wish to return to the old me!

We went out one night and she was still such a wild party animal and I had begun to take it easy. I was so irritated the whole night but had to stay cos I was drving. After a few hours I made an excuse and dropped her off and went home.

I've never made contact with her since and it suits me perfectly!

I'm happy with who I am now and glad to have the friends I have now.

Answer 14

No Cat if I make a friend it is for life, once I have decided a person is my friend it will last untill one of us dies. I still have friends from Gr 1, although we never see each other we keep in touch via SMS, phoning each other once a month. The problem is just that when you get married you have too many firends to invite, or if you have a 40th there are then more friends you have to invite than the number that came to your wedding. If she irritates you now, it is because she never really was your friend in the first place.