Older kid adoption?

Question

I really don't want a baby baby i'd like an older child i'm a nurse so i deal with babies on a reg basis and to be honest i'm scared with all the infant illness i just lost an authisc child who was about 15 i was in the process of getting her do you think older kids will aprecate a woman who loves them just the way they are are or am i going to be shut out because i'm not thier real mom , young or old i still love them and i'd like to try

Answer 1

All any child is someone to love and care for them, there are a lot of older kids who need homes, I think you are a  person with a big heart, go for it.

Answer 2

5 years ago my mom adopted a 9 year old. it has been difficult but rewarding. however my sister is now 16 and from what i see all teenagers shut their parents out somewhat. so some of my sisters behaviors are normal teenage and some are from not being adopted until she was 9. but like i said, it is rewarding!

Answer 3

Any child will appreciate getting a mother in their life.  I see your concerns about adopting a baby.

Answer 4

o think u should get a older child they are the ones who need a family a house a mom!!

Answer 5

I am assuming you are the same Jessica that asked the last question... so I will keep this answer brief...

I was adopted at 11 and I can say that it had many benefits... I did have a bit of animosity towards my parents initially (they were not the best parents then or now) but they are my parents and I love them for everything they did for me.  I recognize now and, due to my age at the time, I also knew then that the life they took me (and my sisters and brother) from was far worse than any of the issues I faced living with them.  

How quickly the child takes to you will depend on their prior circumstances.  It may take longer for an older child to gain trust, as it has probably been given in the past only to be crushed.  The key is to understand the underlying issues causing any hesitation and to not take them personally.  Make sure you are ready to devote your life, at least for awhile, to this young adult the same way you would if he /she were a baby.  This is vital to creating a bond and level of trust inherrent in any parent-child relationship.  Don't get discouraged and don't pressure the child to move faster than they are ready to (ie calling you mom and dad right away).  Patience, love and trust are the keys to building a great relationship w/ ANY child... you just have a bit of a late start and probably a bit of a handicap.  One HUGE benefit to adopting an older child is that you can TALK to them and share feelings back and forth, something you can't do with a baby or toddler.

Good Luck.  I applaud anyone who will open the home to a child that is not biologically theirs, especially an older one.

Answer 6

Someone else may have suggested this, but if you want to adopt an older child, foster parenting is probably the way to go.  You could "fost to adopt" and if your foster child or children become avaliable for adoption, you would most likely have the first chance to adopt.  Not only that, the child would know you and you would know all about them before you decided to adopt.  That way, everyone will already know if it is a good fit or not.  (That may sound cruel, but it is better than finding out after you agree to adopt a child that your personalities don't mesh.)

Hope this helps.  My husband and I are foster parents and we plan to adopt this way, as well as possibly doing an infant adoption.  Best of luck to you!  (As I am sure you know, there are many older children that need homes!)

Answer 7

I don't want a baby either and my husband and I have talked about adopting a child around the age of 5, no younger. I have worked with kids, ages 5 to 14, for 8 years in a psychiatric residential treatment center. A lot of these kids were kids in foster care or had no one (in between homes). I can tell you straight up that the majority of these kids would have loved to have a real stable loving family, regardless of when they come into it. You probably will run into kids who have issues with someone not being their real mom, but work through this. Older kids are probably going to need some kind of therapy, at least during the transition, to help them work through their feelings of not being with their real family and having to live with someone else. As long as you are patient and understanding and loving, a kid will respond. I had a foster sister when I was a teen, the first time I was 13 and she was 9. She lived with us on and off for about 3 or 4 years. When she moved in with us, and since then (we're both grown now) she still calls my parents "mom" and "dad" and probably would have been thrilled if they had adopted her. To her, we are her real family. So older kids can adjust and would love to live with someone who loves them. I think you should try, I fully believe that there are too many kids neglected in our society because no one wants them past a certain age. I think you are doing a great thing by wanting to adopt a kid, especially an older kid, they need love too!

Answer 8

personaly i think its a good thing you wan to adopt an older child not many people wan to they usually want babies .The teenager may close you out and respect the fact you wanted them ,but I give you props for even wanting to do this good luck and god bless

Answer 9

Older kids do the teen drama thing and will say something like "You're not my mom!', but thats just their hormones talking.

ANY kid who is raised with love and discipline will grow up to appreciate their parents.

Answer 10

we are doing older kid adoption, the children are severed from parental rights so they are available ... I would check with Adoption agencies in your area and/or with the Department of Economic Security (Welfare) to see which agency will do this for free.

Good luck!!!

Answer 11

I'm sorry your first adoption fell through.  Please don't give up!  YES, older kids will appreciate what you are doing!  If they have been abused or neglected in the past it will take time and probably a lot of counseling before they can trust you, but they are capable of love just like anyone else.  I really admire your enthusiasm about adopting an older kid.  May your adoption be blessed and full of joy!

Answer 12

most older children would b happy 2  have someone that would adopt them because most people want babies. then SOME but just a FEW would rather stay in foster care or at a group home.

good luck

p.s   most of adopted children love their adopted parents- they R the ones that took them in and treated them like their own

Answer 13

I would think it would be much easier to adopt an older child as most people want the little ones. So there should be more older ones available to adopt. good luck and I praise you.  I would adopt 20 if my husband would agree. But he says 2 are enough.

Answer 14

check out A_O_K group its a yahoo group about adopting older children both international,domestic,and foster children. and supportin each other throught out adoption and parenting! It will be faster to adopt an older child. I knew one foster child that was in fifth grade and in the process of adoption and he is so sweet nice and the same way at home

Answer 15

older children are hard to place,so i think for a child to have a single parent is wayyy better than being alone all their life!

Answer 16

I honestly think that adopting an older child is a wonderful thing.  Everybody out there wants a baby and it takes a special person to adopt an older child.  They are the ones who need the most love!

Answer 17

Yes u should adopt an older kid because everyone needs a home and mostly people only adopt babys when there are older kids who still need homes! I think any kid would want someone to love them, You sound like you would be a great mom!! GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 18

Older kids will definitely appreciate anyone who shows an interest in them and loves them.  Most people want younger kids, so adopting an older child is a wonderful thing!  These kids will most likely have a lot of special issues and you might experience some hesitance at first, but with enough love and with help from your social worker and psychologists if necessary, you will brighten their lives forever!