Older siblings? Do you ever......?

Question

Do you ever feel like your the 3rd parent? Or like a nanny? How do you deal with that?

Answer 1

I'm the youngest, but i've got an older brother and i'm sure he feels like a third parent to me.

He's done all the things that ideally my parents should have done for me, from disciplining me, to helping me out with my problems. Consequently, he's been the one that i've always turned to when things have gone wrong or when i've needed advice. I know I can trust him with anything.

My parents aren't bad or irresponsible or anything, they just come to realize that I listen my brother more then I do to them.

I know I don't show him as much appreciation and respect as he deserves, but I am grateful for everything he's done for me and I love him for it. I'm sure your siblings feel the same.  

Answer 2

Uh, yeah. Like every day of my life. Its really annoying, but thats life. Its hard because the kids don't respect me as much as they respect mom or dad, but again, thats life.

I feel like a free nanny or housekeeper nearly EVERY DAY of my life.

Answer 3

I'm the youngest and my parents work until night so my sisters are sometimes my mommies. Haha. They make dinner and breakfast and stuff for me. Haha. :)

Answer 4

Yeah, when I lived in foster care I had 5 little foster siblings, three under the age of 5 and I had to help out a lot. It was fun though. They were really sweet kids.

Answer 5

well not obligated to do so but i do just because i'm always there for her and shes comfortable talking to me but yeah in other ways to sometimes like making sure she does stuff but shes not that much younger then me like 2.5 years but she watches me to som times like  if i get freaked in the middle of the night or stuff shes like perfectally calm and makes sure i fall asleep before she goes back to bed like in the summer and stuff. But my parents take great care of us too. They are the best.

But I do need my me time where its just me or me and my friends and im very big on my room being MY room only  no one else in it so its my place to go

Answer 6

Darlin', you need to have a really open and frank talk with your parents.

You need to tell them--without screaming or crying or acting out--that you feel like a 3rd parent, and you're too young to feel tied down like that.  If you get bitchy during this talk, it’s all over.  Remain calm.  Remain “adultlike”.  Keep your reasons for talking with them in mind and on topic during the conversation.  Keep your cool.  

Tell them that you love them and you love your sibs but that you need some free time to develop and grow as a normal teenager.  Reassure them that you're a good kid, that you don't want "free time" so you can go do bad things--but be really clear and firm about the fact that you must have some time off from caring for your younger sibs.

If you are caring for your younger sibs because of your parents’ habits--drugs, alcohol--or because one of them is ill, then you've got a whole big cauldron of other problems.  If any of that is the case, please make an appointment with your school counselor.  Tell them it's for personal reasons, not academic reasons, and then tell the counselor the truth of your home situation.

Don't be a victim to your parents’ bad habits.

~~

At the same time, your parents may feel you should help, that the oldest always helps, and (if there is no drugs/alcohol abuse or illness) you're simply not doing your part.

If you really feel otherwise, again, talk with your counselor.  You may be right.  I think you need adult help with this if your pleas to your parents for more free "myself" time go unheeded.

Answer 7

Well, there's four of us (Older sister, me, younger sister, younger brother). I never really found myself being the older parent, though. For my younger siblings, it's only a 2 year difference inbetween us (ex. I'm 17(turning 18 in 5 days), my younger sister is 15 (turning 16), and my brother is 14.) My older sister is 4 years older than me.

Anyways, I think my parents have always done a good job on making sure we weren't parenting each-other. Sure, my parents would ask us to watch them while they went out, and sometimes' we'd help them with their homework, but I never felt 'pressured' to do so.

Answer 8

I'm the youngest, so I'm sure my sister felt that way a lot lol.

Answer 9

I am the middle child and i have 5 brothers and 4 sisters and it feels like i am raising my 2 and 11year old brothers!  

Answer 10

its ok. at least you'll learn responsibility

Answer 11

i have 6 younger sblings too. i do a lot to help my parents but i dont really feel like the third parent. i just feel like im helping them out  

Answer 12

ha ha ha yea

i just do it lol

Answer 13

sometimes, i see it with my friends that are also older siblings too, i think what you have to do is set aside time for yourself whether it's chilling to music, going out with friends, talking on the phone whatever because ultimately you are still a kid too and it's not fair that you can't experience being a teenager...

just my thought :)