Older women (40-55) sometimes late at night when it is just you at home..?

Question

Deep down inside do you just feel like you are missing something? What do you think it is? I feel that way tonight and I really don't know why. Sometimes I feel almost haunted by the feeling. What about you?

Answer 1

The only thing I can think of is Mr Yaga.  I HATE being home alone.  The dogs don't help, and the kid lives with his mother. Hate it hate it hate it hate it.

Sorry.  Did not mean to step on your feelings.  Sometimes I do think I should have accomplished more . . . life doesn't get easier as you get older.

Answer 2

it comes it goes, it's not a hole to fill but it is a whole. Wisdom, pathos disappointment all that could be but isn't. Still life is good there will always be moments and motivations, dreams and dilemmas. good thought to share thanks.

Answer 3

I felt that way in my late 30's when I realized I had put so much of myself into raising my kids that I didn't know myself.  What I mean is I didn't even know what kinds of things I liked and didn't like, what I wanted to do, etc.  It was a very odd feeling.  I'm in my late 40's now and I feel much better than I did then.

Answer 4

For me, it's the echoing of an odd dreamy pathos in a huge cavern within myself that once accommodated gobs of bright and giddy abstractions that meant something to me, and justifiably so, but no longer do, and justifiably so.  And so they dissipated leaving me alone with a lot of empty room to ramble about in.  I am not so much sad about the dissipations but at a boggled loss for what to do with all that empty room in the cavern or how to find new abstractions that maybe would cohere and stir once again bright company there for me in my less-easily-beguiled-by-abstractions and yet oddly increasingly-desiring-beguilement bored Self.

Answer 5

You are missing your hubby?  Although I don't have one, I still miss sharing with someone everyday and night.

Answer 6

Sometimes yes, (when my partner is gone).  

Sometimes no, (when I'm glad my partner is gon(

Answer 7

Sometimes I wake up in the early hours of the morning, and even though the house is full of living things, it's also full of the ghosts of my past. The turning left or right bits of my life, the decisions for or against, the words said or unsaid ...

Those long dark reaches of the night.

As we get older it's like we find space inside for reflection and even contemplation. The fact we undergo these without feeling self satisfied and smug suggests we've had a life where choices have had to be made, where difficulties have sometimes been overcome or endured, where we've been a fully human person.

I'll probably add this question to my 2 am maunderings, lol.

Best wishes :-)

Answer 8

Do you know the Jesus as your savior? we were created to know our Maker and until we do we feel an emptiness inside that nothing else can take away. Its like a God-shaped hole in our hearts put there by Him. Read the Bible, pray, ask Him to come into ur life fill that emptiness. He will! He did for me! =) best wishes! x

Answer 9

I know what you mean,although I'm not alone,I still feel like that sometimes.

Answer 10

A male point of view.  Many very ordinary people marry and live a life with the same woman.  I guess that is fine.  Well, it is for them.  No matter what route you  take there will be regrets and a counterbalancing sense of well being.

Answer 11

I'm not in that age category, but I've felt the same. This bizarre emptiness. It's struck much harder now that I'm on a deployment... I'm not in any real danger, but it gets incredibly lonely, and begin questioning what I've done with my life (I'm 24, I should be closing in on the end of medical school, living abroad, selling artwork, touring as a musician... why am I sitting in a dark trailer in the middle of a desert with the wind howling and throwing sand at my window?)

Anyway, a wonderful poet- May Sarton- said a few things that made me feel better, and try to move past those feelings.

One, a quote: "Loneliness is the poverty of self- solitude is the richness of self."

Two, my favorite poem in all the world (emphasis on the last 5 lines, beginning "Now there is time, and Time is young")

Now I Become Myself

Now I become myself. It's taken

Time, many years and places;

I have been dissolved and shaken,

Worn other people's faces,

Run madly, as if Time were there,

Terribly old, crying a warning,

"Hurry, you will be dead before--"

(What? Before you reach the morning?

Or the end of the poem is clear?

Or love safe in the walled city?)

Now to stand still, to be here,

Feel my own weight and density!

The black shadow on the paper

Is my hand; the shadow of a word

As thought shapes the shaper

Falls heavy on the page, is heard.

All fuses now, falls into place

From wish to action, word to silence,

My work, my love, my time, my face

Gathered into one intense

Gesture of growing like a plant.

As slowly as the ripening fruit

Fertile, detached, and always spent,

Falls but does not exhaust the root,

So all the poem is, can give,

Grows in me to become the song,

Made so and rooted by love.

Now there is time and Time is young.

O, in this single hour I live

All of myself and do not move.

I, the pursued, who madly ran,

Stand still, stand still, and stop the sun!

Answer 12

One of the great poets of the past Rudyard Kipling referred to this life as a "Vale of Tears". Which my 83 year old Father often speaks about. He was not expected to live to 30. He had polio as a Boy and was not expected to survive. He has outlived all his Brothers and Sisters.

Life is about dealing with its challenges and its pain. Its about learning to adapt and to deal with your sorrows. It is also a trade off. If you can share it with somebody who sees the real you. Who accepts you for who you are and loves you warts and all. It makes life more bearable. There is somebody who can share you joys and comfort you when you are down.

The greatest tragedy of Feminism is it is dividing Men and Women. And creating fear and distrust in Men. Who have been Women's protectors and providers in the past. Were there abusive and Evil Men? Of course there was. There have always been Human Predators of both genders.

Human beings are equally capable of kindness and cruelty. But the majority of Men although imperfect tried to please and love Women. And worked hard to earn their respect and trust.

It has gotten so bad, that many Men in the US have decided to become Ghosts in the lives of Women here. And to simply drop out of the dating and interactions with Women.

As it is a luxury and a liability with low Rewards for the Risks. I know several such Men. And what is truly sad. These are Men who in decades past were ideal candidates for Husbands and companions to Women. They have been exploited and abused and refuse to interact with Women anymore. They are simply unavailable.

Women should be worried. When healthy normal Men fight their biology and attraction to you. Something has gone seriously wrong. It will take several generations to fix this problem. With a growing number of Men, they will not risk such a relationship in the US anymore. They are done. And their numbers are growing.