Oldest being mean to youngest???

Question

I have two kids, ages 4 and 1. My daughter (the oldest) is alwasy being mean and teasing her brother. How can I make her understand that he only wants to play with her and help her. Just today I went into her room, where he was crying and I saw her holding toys above his head and laughing at him. I hurts me to see this. I try my hardest to spend time with them individually so she dosent feel left out. I work mornings and she is in school, and she just started acting like this since she went to school. Do you think this happens to her at school and thats why she is like that with him? I am also raising my neice, who is 5. So Tay feels like the "middle child". She went from being an only child then at age 3 she had a brother then 4 months after that I got my neice. She is not used to sharing anything, but I thought after a while, she would get used to it. No luck. I dont understand, I was the youngest of three. My sister understands, but she is 800 miles away. Please help me.

Answer 1

Wow she has been through a lot of changes lately. Ofcourse she is going to be acting out and being mean to her brother, this is a way for her to get some attention because she feels like her brother and cousin are taking it all. Try your best to spend a lot of one on one time with her, take her out just you and her, let her help with the 1 year old brother, you just need to be patient and give her lots of love and attention. How she is reacting is completely normal.

Answer 2

Awww.  I think you might be stressing out to much mommy!  Your little one is only 4 and she has gone through a LOT but she will adapt!  You can help her understand she is your right hand gal.  Give her jobs that make her SOO big.  Go on "special dates" with her.  I do this with oldest and he LOVES it.  Sometimes they just want attention and will settle for any good or bad.  :)  I can't imagine how confused she must be.  

The other thing we like to do is to have a party for the oldest toy.  Randomly.  Like a birthday party for her favorite teddy bear, cake, hats, the works.  She will be so excited she'll talk about it for weeks.  Plus helping them play together gives them the best idea of how to.  

They are siblings they'll always spat, but deep down they're the  best of friends.

Answer 3

Catch her being good.  Praise her for sharing or being nice to her brother.  When you catch her being bad, be matter of fact.  Don't give it more attention than when she is good.  She is getting used to not being the only child in your house.  She wants attention, good or bad.  Make the good better than the bad.  After a while she will figure that out and only seek the good, at least most of the time.  Be consistant.