Omg its so annoying!!!!!!!(its not that long even tho it might look long)?

Question

ok so one of my best friends can NEVER do anything!

first of all, shes like a slave to her mom! her mom has been making her clean the whole entire house since like 4th gradee! and her parents always make her clean or wash their cars or something.

second, her mom barely evwer lets her hang out! or if she does then she will be like, you can only hang out after you clean the house.

or if say if she hangs out with 'anna' on monday and then with 'hanna' on tuesday, then on wednesday if she wants to do something her mom makes her stay home just because shes been outta the house for 2 days!!

also we always try to plan stuff ahead, like go to the movies, and then at the last minute, her mom doesnt let her go just because she didnt finish cleaning the house or washing her parents car or something!

or sometimes we'll be like hey lets go shopping tomorrow and we get super excited for it but then she asks her mom and her mom doesnt let her go!!! (usually either because she didnt finish cleaning, or because shes already been outta the house for 2 days in a row.)

its so freaking annoying! i mean i always get super excited and then let down! i hate it! and it feels like she doesnt even care!!!! shes jsut like ugh sorry my mom wont let me go. and it sucks because sometimes i cancel other plans just to make plans with her, but then her mom doesnt let her do it!!!!!

what should i do!?

thanks i kno this was long :]

Answer 1

you have to understand that her parents are just probably really protective of her. This is how my parents are with me. If i go out for like 2 days in a row, i probably can't go out anymore that week because they'll say that i go out too much. Sometimes when i ask them to go to places with my friends they'll say no. That has happened not just once but many times. Sometimes i don't even want to ask my parents if i can go out with my friends because i hate it when they say no to me.You're friend probably just doesn't like rejection. thats probably not the word to use, but thats probably it. for me, i just don't bother with it because i know when my parents tell me no, i'll just get in a big argument with them.

Answer 2

Firstly, I would like to correct your mistake, Your friends does care. I don't think you would like if if YOUR mom, jailed you at home, and force you to do the housework everyday .Its worse than jail for a teenager, because being a teenager means to be able to have almost umlimited freedom with your friends .

You might want her to schedule out "anna" and "hanna" for another week, and add you in.Its like a math problem, if you can help her schedule who she goes out with(etc.) you might be able to have some time together!

You just have to put yourself in other people's shoes sometimes.

If her mom isn't physically disabled, or have any other problem cleaning the house, then she should be the one doing the house work!

Or its just maybe her mom doesn't like you?

There a thousand and one things that happen to her at home that you will never know.So, the point is try to help her in which ever way you can.

Answer 3

"i always get super excited and then let down!"

"but seriously i want to tell my friend about how this always messes up MY plans"  (emphasis added)

This problem is about her, not you.  Don't you think it hurts your friend to have to cancel and spend the time cleaning?  Have you ever thought about going over and helping your friend with her chores so the 2 of you get to go out afterward?  It might actually work.

Answer 4

Maybe she is using the Mom as a crutch in order to get out of doing things with you? It's just a suggestion. I used to blame things on my parents if I really didn't want to hang out with someone.

Answer 5

Do you think your friend would rather be cleaning than hanging out with you at the mall?  I don't think so.  My parents were super strict with me and I hated it.  Your friend has to plan things out better.  Ask her mom what kind of cleaning needs to be done beforehand so she can go out with you.  Maybe her parents are really overprotective about her leaving the house so hang out with her there.  Her parents may feel more comfortable if you two also stayed at your house.