On an invitation, how do you exclude people?

Question

What I mean is, due to space constraints (the chapel and reception venue only fit about 100 people each) how do you ask a guest you're inviting to not bring extra people such as a date?

We're already leaving people we know off the guest list and don't think it would be right to have people we don't know there in their places.

Answer 1

Usually if the interior envelope doesn't say "& Guest" then only the people listed on the inner envelope are invited.  

Answer 2

On our reply cards we listed each person invited:

Mrs. John Doe

___attending ____ not attending

Mr. John Doe

___attending ____not attending

John Doe Jr.

___attending ____not attending

This has eliminated any question as to whom the invitation is meant for.

Answer 3

We wrote ours the proper way with listing only the names of those invited on the envelope.  The problem is that so many people are very ignorant when it comes to etiquette and we had a TON of write in guests/kids.  But since we did not have any space constraints and the food wasn't terribly expensive, I decided to let it slide because I am not confrontational.

I'd suggest the idea of listing each one on the RSVP separately like suggested above.  or maybe making is so they can only select up to the number invites...  

Mr. and  Mrs. Smith

Number attending  (circle)   0   1   2

Mr. Jones

Number attending (circle)  0   1

But you absolutely should not invite only one half of a married, engaged, or serious couple.

Answer 4

You simply address the invitation to who IS invited:

Mr and Mrs Joseph Smith

Mr Joseph Smith

Ms Jane Smith

You're probably still going to have to call those that don't get it.  Just say "Due to venue constraints, only ___ was/were invited.  Will s/he/they be attending?"

FYI:  Any married/engaged couple should be invited together regarldless of your association with the spouse.

Answer 5

Simply put only the names of the people invited on the invitation.  If someone calls to ask if they can bring a date, you can explain the venue is very small and you cannot accommodate them.

Answer 6

just attention the invitation card to the person with name indication that you wish to invite. eliminate the '& Partner' and leave your contact no for RSVP, those guest who you wish to invite but not available will give you additional space to invite the guests next in line.

Answer 7

You specifically address it to the person(s) you are inviting.  But you will always get the distant cousins who are not invited.  Some people just don't know about etiquette.  For more rules on wedding invitation etiquette, please click on the link below:

http://weddinginvitations2248.blogspot.c...

Answer 8

You invite Ms. Jennifer Smith (her only). or you invite Mr. and Mrs. Bill Johnson (the couple only).

Answer 9

Generally etiquette states that the invite and inner envelope should state the person or people you are inviting.  Etiquette also states that the invitee should understand these rules and adhere to them.  Reality is this never happens. The best practice is to properly write out the invites.  If a person rsvp's more than their allotment, you will need to call that person and personally let them know about the space constraint and how awful you feel.  Most people will understand.  The people that do not understand should not have been invited in the first place.

One wedding I consulted -  the bride didn't want any of her wedding party bringing dates since she did not have the space.  It was a mess - but now I hear that she is best friends with one of the girls that was not invited.  It can be so stressful.

Good Luck

Z.

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Answer 10

You don't have to spell it out on the invitation, but ONLY put the names of the people who are invited to attend. For example, Uncle Tom and Aunt Suzie have two little kids, who are not invited. Address the outer envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Smith" and the inner envelope to "Uncle Tom and Aunt Suzie." Do not put the children's names or the words "and guest" or "and family" on any of the invitations, unless you intend for them to be invited.

Then, if someone RSVPs with more people than you invited (say Uncle Tom and Aunt Suzie write "4 will attend" when you only invited 2), you'll need to call those guests and let them know that you're very sorry but the venue restricts the number of people who can attend the wedding, and you are unfortunately not able to accommodate any extras. This will make some people say they can't come, so you need to decide what's more important - keeping the guest list small or accommodating a few extra people.

Answer 11

I'm in the same situation. Both my fiance and I have a lot of family, with older teenage and young adult cousins, as well as some single aunts/uncles/friends. My best suggestion is to use the old fashioned inner envelope and list only those who are invited. If it doesn't say Guest, you shouldn't bring one. Also, you may want to have your mom/maid of honor/someone help field questions. Like they can spread the word that no dates unless exclusively stated, but no one has to specifically ask the bride or groom and some awkwardness can be avoided. Also, use RSVP cards. That really helps get the count and then if enough say they are unable to come, maybe dates could be allowed.