On the bus of life do adoptees sit in the front, the back or somewhere in da middle?

Question

deep huh

Answer 1

why be on a bus? I like Ferreri's myself! =) Besides each person doesn't hope on for a ride, they should forge their own path, not follow another person's.

Answer 2

Gee, Surf,

At first I didn't think it was that deep but then I realized that this one is quite the stumper!

I think there are several "right" answers depending on how you look at the question.

There is some truth to the answers that say you can choose to sit where you want. Life does have a great deal to do with personal attitude and how one views themselves and their situation. Taking charge of your life can allow you some choice as to where you sit on the bus and it can also make the back or the middle seem as though it is the front even when it really isn't.

Adoptees in some cases sit at the front of the bus. They are the few who are in situations where their NEEDS are put before those of their FPs or APs. I think people who have truely open and honest relationships can enjoy this particular ride.

There is also truth to the idea that Adoptees sit in the middle and have to be "between" the FPs and APs. (My guess is this would be the feelings of many Adoptees.) Again, PERSONAL perspectives have a lot to do with where you sit.

When it comes to the analogy of the bus and rights (like Rosa Parks), who couldn't agree that sealed records and the fact that Adoptees rarely have a say in the decisions that will effect the for the rest of their lives, Adoptees most certianly sit at the back of the bus. (There are alot of First Fathers back there too when you look at it from a "rights" perspective. FFs usually get stuck in the seat next to the bathroom!)

I think the biggest problem with the bus is that the industry (agencies) are in the driver's seat...

How deep do you wanna take this? :)

Answer 3

The back and everyone else involved are driving the bus. You have to remember the adoptee has no choice in what is happening to them....to THEIR LIFE! There life is put into the hands of the birthmom, adoptive parents and the agency involved.

In my situation unfortunately, I was not given to the best family. I was given to an extremely abusive father and to a mother who stood by and watched, yet did nothing about it. Not to a loving family that kept their word that they would give me the best life possible. That was given to my sister whom my birthmother kept.

Oh, and to the other girl who commented about picking your child, thats the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You dont get to pick your real child. If your kid comes out ugly you cant send them back. Same as if you adopted a child. Your ignorant as h**l and you obviously know nothing about adoption and all the struggle and pain that goes with it. Not just for the adoptee, but for the birthmother as well. Pick a child! ha!

Answer 4

I think they would sit in the front. The parents get to chose them. When you get pregnant you get what you get. When you adopt you get to pick the perfect child!

edit-Purple monkey-I know ALOT more about adoption then you think I do. Being an adoptee, my little brother is adopted, and my husband was adopted, I've been there and know a few who have. I'm sorry you didn't adopted by a great family but not all AP are bad. I had a great childhood and was raised by people who loved me for me.

Answer 5

Always stuck in the middle - of course.

Answer 6

I never got on the bus. I've forged my own path of life because I've met everyone on the bus, and the adoptees are out here walking with me. No adoptee trusts the bus, it reminds us of foster homes and state ran agencies.  

hehehe. :)