Once again, my husband has made himself a nest to be a packrat in it. THIS IS LONG so?

Question

My husband demanded to have an "office" in our room. He lost my bed and dresser when he could not longer pay for it. So now, because someone gave us a good bed, and we have enough dressers, but ALSO NOW HE HAS SET UP AN OFFICE" IN OUR ROOM, TAKING UP ALL THE SPACE AND WON'T LET ME MOVE IT AND DOES NOT WANT ME TO TOUCH IT.

Backin up here, this has been a recurring prob since marriage. Always a room or a place that is full of his JUNK and I can't touch it.

So today I did what I always end up doing, I put as much of it as I could in trash bags, just so I could set foot in his office, and so maybe he will get the point that I am tired of promises, i want results.

But even if he starts keeping it tidy, he is a horrible organizer. But anyway it is all in bags and put to the side by the litter box, even though not all of it's trash, MOST OF IT IS TRASH that I would throw out if only I knew he wouldn't miss it.

He becomes very angry and loud and destructive of objects-just being honest here0- when his stuff is touched or thrown away especially.

He has issues, but this is besides the point.

My question is, other than he is insecure---

why DOES HE HAVE TO DO THIS. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO HAVE JUNK, SCATTER IT EVERYWHERE AND NOT WANT anyone to even touch it.

How does it make him more secure to want to live in a wreck like this?

Every now and then he "cleans" he looks at every little thing, and gets rid of very little...but he thinks and says it is alot.

But all he ever does is lay in in stacks, and NEVER FINISHES THE JOB, NEVER PARTS WITH UNCESSARY THINGS TO A SATISFACTORY POINT.

My question is WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

Will he ever change?

Answer 1

has he laid eggs yet?

Answer 2

no he won't chg...i have been married to one for 34 yrs...we have compromised...we live on an acreage...all the buildings but one are full of his junk...he has part of the basement but knows if he leaves his stuff upstairs its gone...you can't change them

Answer 3

He's got a psychological problem. The junk helps him deal with his world and even with help he may never stop. He definitely needs professional help.

Answer 4

once again my husband has made himself a nest to be a pack rat ,this is a long so?

      answer= do not throw any of his junk away ,he will get very mad,this is the story of my life,my husband was a pack rat his entire life,sorry to say he will not change ,he has some sort of insecurity from his childhood,i never touch his junk ,i never throw away his jumk,he died 15 months ago ,and i am still cleaning ,give him his own space so he can accumulate ,do not throw away he will get very mad,he was a teacher ,and he had books and papers by the thousands,it is a sickness.

             take care ,all the best.

                                    source= my life . he will not change,mine did not.