One of my newish friends is a big complainer, what do I do?

Question

Me and this girl are becoming friends, which I'm really happy about because she's a really cool girl.. BUT

she is really negative. 70% of what comes out of her mouth is a complaint or criticism about someone in her life or some situation. She tends to blame all her problems on other people..

I was recently really convicted about what kinds of things I was saying in conversations, read a really good book about making sure your personal speech glorifies God, so it's REALLY difficult for me when I'm so tempted to gossip or complain when we talk.

She is actually my "accountability partner", which basically means that we read a portion of the Bible every week, and then discuss it and discuss things we struggle with together, and basically keep each other accountable.

So... should I bring this up? She is a brand new Christian and I don't want to discourage her, but she is my ACCOUNTABILITY partner, and I really want to make sure we become good friends because I really like her.. and it's so hard like this.

What to do?

Answer 1

If you could put it in "l" phrases, so she does not feel attacked:

"I've noticed that there seem to be a lot of things you do not like

or that you talk negatively about. How come?"

See what she says. She may not even be aware of how bad this

habit has gotten.

Tell her how this feels to you, and how it affects your Bible study

time.

If she won't see her faults, or she refuses to change, you may

have to find another study partner.

Answer 2

There are a few people i occasionally talk to / work with that are like this.  I always think what are they saying to others about me when i'm not around.  But as her accountability partner isn't there a certain point where your accountable? maybe you could read some verses related to this.

Answer 3

Why don't you tell her about the great book that you read and pass it along to her to read.  Pray about it and maybe God will give her the message instead of you.  

Tell her how much the book helped you with your speech.

Answer 4

I would bring up to her, but do so in a respectful manner.  Instead of saying, "Boy you complain a lot."; "You're awfully negative."; "You whiner."  Tell her that you've noticed that she seems to have a lot on her plate; seems a bit stressed out, and that you've noticed she mentions quite a few negatives in her life and you would like to help her turn it around.  You both could start your meeting with saying one thing you're grateful for that day and then give each other an affirmation and you could close the meeting with a prayer and with giving thanks.  This will bring positivity back into focus and may just be thing that both of you need right now.  Good luck!

Answer 5

well of u discuss things u struggle with then let her no u struggle with listening to her negative attitude towards life. at the end of the day ur doing her a favour cause if shes a nice person shes making herself miserable by being this way .just let her no its not a very christian thing 2 do . she obviously has some kind of hang up 2 b acting this way. once u tlk 2 her she might even open up 2 u  

Answer 6

Newish? Does that mean shes a baby?