One true love? Soul mate? Best friend? Does this happen? Just looking for some opinions please?

Question

Here is the story. 23 years ago I was a young single mom. Met this guy#1 and easily became very good friends, fell in love. lived together and things were great. We split amicably due to some bad choices that he had made basically he had gotten in some trouble and didn't want me and my child involved with any of it.

We remained friends, I moved on and met my ex husband, married had kids and divorced after 13 years of marriage. All along #1 and I stayed in touch with mutual friends etc, My husband knew of our friendship and never had a problem with it etc..

I now am engaged after being with my fiance for 6 years, And #1 does not want me to get married, he says he isn't right for me, and that I will not be happy. #1 has never married stating openly to me and others that the woman he wanted to marry married someone else and now is doing it again.

He has been in a relationship with someone for 15 years and yes, he cheats.

We have gone out a few times however I have kept it from my fiance as he doesnt understand the friendship.

We have not slept together as he says he hurt me once and doesn't want to do it again.

I love him as a friend and am very attracted to him still, we talk often, and he has a relationship with my oldest child, my family adores him and even my mother says that I should have married him.

Do you believe there is one true love? What am I to do????

Answer 1

i do believe that people meet their respective true loves but dont often marry them.  that is what many people do...they try to move on in their lives hoping for another chance.  and some move on in their lives still looking for a true love while breaking hearts or having their heartbroken.   affairs of the heart are met with your beliefs internally and with outside influences and choices are just that...a choice.  how you come to decide which road you will take when you meet any challenge is personal and it affects everyone around you in a ripple effect.  sometimes, people dont come across such a choice and end up marrying who they are with.  you  know, that old song, 'love the one youre with'.  but, in your case, you've got a heart divided.  choose #1 or #3 or neither.   it only seems that when everything is going well ....is when we say we've 'made the right choice'...but it doesnt mean 'true love'.  sometimes, our true love is fraught with difficulties.  good luck

Answer 2

I say you be honest with yourself and follow your heart, if you are struggling with the decision this hard then there must be something there. You guys have been friends forever, I say if you really feel strong then go for it. Remember you only get to live once so keep that in mind also, who do you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Answer 3

only you know that grasshopper if you have doubt's marring the guy like your not sure you love him then you don't love him  

you can't be in love with two people

Answer 4

i do believe there is one true love. and often times it's extremely hard to forget or get rid of the strong feelings you've had for someone. but in my opinion, if you're engaged and ready to start a new life with someone else, then i believe you should get on with that and move on. you should probably start distancing yourself from #1. if you continue your friendship with him, your future marriage life with your new man will not get any better (in my opinion). but if you're really willing to settle with #1 and still have strong feelings for him..then i say listen to your heart. but you must choose one or the other. you can't have both.

I hope that helped! good luck, hun =)