Online resources for birth mothers?

Question

What are some online resources...chat, groups, etc. for people who have given a child up for adoption?

Answer 1

askabmom is a yahoo group.  it has all members of the triad but it is predominately bmoms.  Everyone discusses and SUPPORTS bmoms -- I have no question that you will find others riding the roller coaster as you are.

Answer 2

I belong to a few but for when I just want to talk to other first moms and just vent and cry I go to birthmombuds.com

Answer 3

Concerned United Birthparents is a national organization.  They  have a chat list you can join.  You will find a few other "triad" members there, as well, but it is mostly made up of birth mothers and fathers.  

http://www.cubirthparents.org

ETA:

If you are by chance located in Northern California, PACER (Post Adoption Center for Education and Research) holds monthly support meetings for "triad" members.  I've had a number of friends say they find these meetings very helpful.

http://www.pacer-adoption.org/

Answer 4

http://www.origins-usa.org

Nightly chats with Joe Soll (adoptee and counseler for first mothers) here:

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org

Answer 5

http://origins-usa.org/

http://adoptionthreads.com/forum/index.p...

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.net/board/...

http://forums.delphiforums.com/n/main.as...

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

Answer 6

I am a birth mother. I placed my child for adoption in a completely open adoption over 6 years ago.

I found the 'birthmombuds.com' to be the best website. You should look into all the site before you suggest them. I found that some of them seemed to encourage keeping the 'family unit intact' more that supporting the decision to place a child for adoption.

I don't know what the situation is that you are looking for a web site. Maybe you looking for support post adoption, or maybe you're trying to help in the decision making process. I thought that the 'birthmombuds' was the most supportive for after the fact.

Answer 7

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Welcome to "Adoption Knowledge"  Ever had an exper- ience with adoption that you'd like to share? Considering adoption? Would you like to know what it's like to give up a child or what it's like to grow up adopted? Would you like to chat with others who've been where you are now? Some have adopted children in the past to find themselves torn emotionally over the things they had not been told. This is your chance to find out. This is the place to meet everyday from 9 p.m. to 11 p.m. I will try to be in the room every evening at this time. Anyone who'd like to be here to chat at any other time is welcome to do so. The room is always open.

While you are on this site it would be worth noting that I do not condone adoption in any way shape or form.  Therefore no one will be allowed to post url's which promote adoption.  I cannot stress enough that I want this site to be for the people who are hurting because they were adopted, or those whom lost children to adoption.  I had hoped that those who were considering adoption would take the time to read and ask questions of those who know all too well what it's like being adopted. I have rarely had the opportunity to hear anyone who has been adopted refer to it as a "good" experience for them.  This site then, is dedicated to furthering the understanding of adoption abuse in general, our government's role in it, how much the industry is worth,  how much people "pay" to adopt, etc.  Make no mistake when I tell you that children are being bought and sold every day I mean exactly that and it's being done legally.  There are supposed to be laws against buying and selling people however it still goes on.  If people think children are adopted to help the children they are dead wrong.  It may begin with the feeling that you are doing something wonderful for a child who has no parents but in time you'll begin to understand that it was something you sought for yourself.  The child is given someone else's name, someone else's fraudulent family medical history, someone else's heritage, and someone else's relatives.  All the while the adopted person's personal information is kept from them.  It it unjust, it is reprehensible, it is abusive.  How many times have I read articles written by prospective parents using phrases like "perfect family", "complete us", "wonderful life", etc?  too many!  

People adopt children, not for the sake of the child but to hopefully give both sides something they need.  Adopted children are not perfect yet when they hurt because they lost their family and no one allows them to grieve or know what happened to them that is wrong.  Do the adoptive parents even care what issues the adopted child has.  They want a healthy happy child.  When it becomes prevalent that this isn't what they got some want to give the child back.  I have a friend in Massachusetts who was given back three times before they found her a home with abusive people.  Many times when the adoptive family learns their dreams aren't being realized with the adoptive child they turn on the child as if they are misbehaving.  It's time people woke up and realized that these are not puppies.  They've lost their families, they've lost their spiritual contact with them, they've lost their familly history, their ethnic heritage, and their customs.  Now, on top of that they aren't supposed to hurt, they aren't supposed to suffer, they are to accept and be grateful for what the government and the adoptive parents have done for them.  I wish for one minute that everyone who is not adopted could really understand how much it hurts and how horrible it is to be used like a maid or servant when their plans for you don't work out.  Adoptive parents expect to get a child, whether it's a baby to a teen, that's happy, healthy, and grateful.  When that does not happen they want the child to understand so they explain this to him or her.  Does anyone explain where their real family is at?  No!  Does anyone explain what led to them being where they are?  No!  To add insult to injury they want the child to get over it!  I mean why shouldn't they, their families are still alive somewhere.  Adoptive parents resort to saying things like, "they had too many children and couldn't afford to take care of them all", "they were very bad parents", "they abused you", "they didn't love you or want you".  Many adopted kids grow up to find out that none of these things were true.  Adopted parents tell adopted kids such things to ease their own pain, not the child's.  It's done to make the child quit grieving.  No honor is given to the families these children lost.  They are maligned, they are ridiculed, and they are taught to hate their real families.  Teach them to hate others and you'll teach them to hate you.  This is the message I want all those seeking to adopt to know.  Taking care of a child is one thing.  Loving a child is one thing.  Taking the child's name from them, their heritage, their family associations from them, is wrong!  Hopefully any who come here hoping to adopt will read the posted messages full of pain and anger and know that our blood cries out for justice for those still being adopted.  

If anyone wants to be in a chat room full of older adults who are still suffering as a result of their own adoption please go to adoptese.com.  Hear it straight from them.  If you want to hear it from an adoption therapist who was a black market baby go to that site and adoptioncrossroads.com  They will tell you how they feel.  But whatever you do, don't promote adoption on this site.  

Thank You,

Patty1019





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(sorry copied andpasted everything)

http://groups.msn.com/AdoptionKnowledge

www.youngmommies.com/resources/choices...

Local Support Groups have the advantage of meeting people face to face. ... to understand the feelings that adoptees have about being put up for adoption. ...

www.adopteesearch.info/start2.html

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=cha...

Answer 8

birthmombuds.com