Only 4 weeks till the wedding and I dont know what to do?

Question

I am engaged to get married on October 4th of this year. I just had a wonderful baby boy with my fiancee, and we could not ask for anything more. However, lately I have been having dreams about my ex. We dated for 2/3 years and we really had something together. He was my first love I guess you could say. When he and I were dating though I was not getting the best treatment that I should have been getting. I was never abused or anything of the sort. However, he just always seemed to get aggravated or put me down and we always fought. This would never end. I tried ending the relationship numerous times, but this would just leave him crawling into a ball on the couch and crying. I loved him so it would hurt me to see him like this. Now that I have a month until my wedding I am starting to think about my ex again. I have no idea what to do. I love my fiance and I love my son. I could not imagine a better situation to be in, and I know I am happy. But why do I keep thinking about the ex? Is this normal? Will this go away? Please help me!!

Answer 1

Its normal getting close to the wedding and having second thoughts is normal.  You start lookng over other options and wondering if this is right.  Like you said, you love your fiance and coulnt imagine being in a better situation.  then it sounds to me like you are very lucky and have nothing to worry about.  You would want to give up what you have now for something that wasnt perfect!  

Answer 2

I have been married for almost 15 years and I still think about my first love.  I think about how my life would have been different if I married him.  If he was so great you would have never broke up with him and like you said, he didn't treat you so great.  You love your son and your fiance.  Put your ex in the past where he belongs.  

Answer 3

This sounds very normal to me.  Here's why, from a psychological perspective (my career):  When you're getting married, that's a HUGE change in your life.  Huge.  So there are various ways that your conscious and unconscious mind adjusts to this huge change.  Very commonly, people will have dreams or nightmares leading up to the wedding.  VERY commonly.  I'd be more surprised if you didn't, because that would mean that your brain wasn't processing this huge change, and that's what a healthy brain does.  This is your unconscious mind, so you can't control it, but what it's doing is actually healthy.  Think of it as your brain exploring all other "alternatives" to getting married and all the things that could go wrong.  It's not that your brain is onto something, like the dreams represent the "true" destiny for your life, believe me!  These dreams tend to often be more like nightmares for people, or at least very very intense, because you are doing a lot of unconscious psychological work right now.  It's actually healthy b/c you're going to be much more adjusted to the idea of married life by the time it comes (but you'll just have to take my word for it!).  The need to psychologically adjust to this huge change is one reason why some brides pour themselves into the wedding planning like maniacs.  It's just another way to unconsciously symbolize and process the huge change.  I hope that makes sense, but the long and short of it is... it's okay!  It will go away, but possibly not until after the wedding!  And it has NOTHING to do with your real, genuine love for your husband and son.  It doesn't un-do the fact that you did end the relationship with your ex for good reasons.  It just means that you're a normal bride-to-be, and that you're a healthy one too, b/c your unconscious mind is working overtime to get you ready for the big day!  By the way, best wishes for October 4th!!!

Answer 4

I can only guess that you are thinking about your ex a lot because you just HAD a baby and he ACTED like a baby when you were together.  It will pass.  Keep the thoughts to yourself, try to distract yourself from them (with a baby and a wedding that shouldn't be hard!), and they will just dry up and blow away.  Congrats on getting the man and the life you deserve!

Answer 5

You never get over your first love. Instead of thinking of the good times with your ex, think of the bad things (like how he made your feel). Now think of how your fiance makes you feel and of all the good times ahead of you. Things end for a reason, but it is always better to look forward than behind.

Answer 6

This is totally normal and yes it will go away. You will be amazed at the crazy dreams woman have before they get married. It's not so much that you miss him as it is your life is going to change dramatically and you are remembering the past. The same thing happend to me. You'll be fine. Enjoy this time and have a fabulous wedding!

~MLF~

Answer 7

who can actually forget their first love? no one. this is normal. it doesn't mean that you still have feelings for him and that you should be with him. there are probably a lot of emotions going through you right now b/c you're getting married. it's a huge deal, and you're just taking these thoughts for more than they are. they're just thoughts! the end.

good luck and congrats on your wedding and baby boy!

Answer 8

Here is what it means to dream about your ex according to dreammoods.com:

Ex

To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-husband/wife or that you and your ex got back together again, suggests that something or someone in your current life that is bringing out similar feelings you felt during the relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to the same or similar behavior in a current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistake. Alternatively, past lovers often highlight the positive experiences you had with that person.

In particular, to see your ex-husband/wife in your dream, indicates that you are finding yourself in a situation that you do not want to be in.  It suggests that you are experiencing a similar relationship or situation which makes you feel unhappy and uncomfortable.

To see your mate's ex in your dream, suggests that you may be comparing yourself to the ex. The dream is trying to tell you not to make the same relationship mistakes that ended that relationship.

Alternatively, seeing your ex in your dream also signifies aspects of yourself that you have x'd out or neglected.

*****EDIT:  Here is another website talking about dreaming of your ex:

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art3...

Answer 9

wow you sound just like me! I am engaged to be married and i have been having a lot of dreams about my ex. My ex was my high school sweet heart and he was with me through a family death. Then again we fought all the time and he was such a jerk always telling me i needed to loose weight, i needed to dye my hair...he was always trying to change me. My fiance has told me he loves me and thinks i am the most beautiful woman in the world. I think that it is normal to think or dream a lot about an ex if they had a big impact on your life, especially if they were your first love, or first in an intimate relationship. Don't feel bad i think it is just human nature to feel like that. I think that once u start getting really busy with your baby you will not have anytime to think about him. i think that the memories will subside. hope i could help, have fun with your new family!!

Answer 10

It's normal and will go away.  The months leading up to the wedding are so stressful that no matter how sure you are, you will have weird dreams.  I don't remember having many dreams about my exes, but my best friend is getting married next July and she's already started having dreams about hers.  It's normal.