Only 6 weeks of marriage and I am ready to throw in the towel?

Question

Jeez- how stupid can I be? I totally knew what I was getting into and did it anyway. The man I married cannot stand my attitude, he has severe depression and I have a house I want to go back to. I am a Catholic that believes in marriage, but my gosh, i just can't do this. We live in a half built home and I knew EXACTLY what I was walking into, yet I did it anyway. I am just feeling so stupid, like my family and friends should not even want to talk to me!! The guy I married has allot of mental problems and I drove him to this state of hibernation cuz i want to fix up this place and move forward. I just needed to vent and i pray my family will still accept me no matter what. Any ideas or am I just so stupid it does not even deserve a response? Thanks for listening.

Answer 1

Well you married him for a reason right? So maybe instead of quiting right away you should try relationship counseling? Or maybe do some research on how to handle your husband. I myself have depression and it would ruin me if my spouse left me because he couldn't help me and didn't want to try. You have to work on it. But by all means if you try and it doesn't go anywhere and you truly want out then you should end it. It's not fair to him or you if you stay in this relationship and I'm 100% your family will still love and support you!

Answer 2

how were you dealing with him before marrying him? and how was he dealing with your attitude? seems things were good enough to exchange vows then, so why change anything now that you signed papers..you should continue however it was that got you to a great point of deciding to marry.  don't go into the role of "wife" that's when things go south of bad expectations that are unrealistic.  Just be a woman, who loves her man, that is devoted and tolerant of life and his shortcomings.  isn't that what a supposed "real Catholic" abides by?

Answer 3

if you are really sure that you are ready to give up, then maybe you should try to move foward if the situation is that bad. as far as your family part goes, i think they will want you to be happy, and as long as you are happy then im sure they will be too.

Answer 4

You say he can't stand your attitude- did he mention this before the wedding?

You say he has severe depression- is he on meds, in therapy, or in a support group?

<If he doesn't want to get better, than your relationship together will continue to suffer.>

You say your family and friends should not even want to talk to you, <but true friends and family will stand by your side regardless of what occurs in your marriage (or divorce)>

You say you "totally knew" what you were "getting into" - by that, what do you mean? Marrying someone with his mental problems? Getting married at this point into your life? Building or moving to this house? What do you mean? <Do you think that the initial stress of getting married has worsened his existing problems?>

Think about why you married him in the first place.... go back to when he asked you, and you said yes. Was it because you felt pressured, or because the time felt right? Did you say yes because you loved him, because you thought he was "The One", or because you felt like you couldn't ever find anyone else? Did you marry him because you feel like you should be married at this age, or because you love him with all your heart?

<Search your heart and you'll find the answers.>

Answer 5

Then divorce him its very simple good luck xx

Answer 6

Only 6 weeks and already admitting it was a mistake. Go to your priest and/or a lawyer and check if an annulment is possible. Do this immediately, before you bring any children into your situation. Be fair with your husband and be open and honest with him.

Do not wait, if the annulment is not possible, go for the divorce. The longer you wait, the harder things get.

If you knew what you were getting into, why did you get married?

I understand others expectations and pressure but that is a poor reason. My brother felt pressured by others expectations and now his child does not have an intact family, the divorce finally did come.

I hope you do what you need to do now, a child should not have to pay for your mistakes later.

Answer 7

You made a major mistake and this is your payback.  The only thing you can do is file for divorce, because that's going to happen anyway and admit to your family what you admitted to us.

Answer 8

So, leave, sweets, you have no kids, no obligations... it's not like you have to step to the plate and be a parent to a kid you never planned... Hey, ya get one life,.... and you can do with it what you want....

Answer 9

the honeymoon is over that's all

Answer 10

well you knew what u were getting ur self into and i think u should just stick it out. something god might come out of it. just wait and keep praying :)

and yes ur family loves u and they will accept in whatever shape or form and/or whatever ur choices are.

Answer 11

there's not enough info about the problems to respond