Only for my husband?

Question

I've been married to a wonderful guy for a little over 3 yrs , have a 5 and half m/o together. we've been very happy and went thru ups and down together..my Q is one of my friends noticed i never wear stuff above my knees or low cut necks when we have a party or a family-get together . i think it'll dishonor my husband. my body only belongs to me and him lol. my friend say i'm a doormat!! I'm not, i mean my hubby compromises too, he supports me n our baby so i can stay at home, poor him! he's a great dude, i think he deserves all my love and respect (he does the same for me-) do you think i'm a doormat?

Answer 1

You are not a doormat unless you think you are.

Just tell your friend, you like to do whatever and that if she would honor your friendship to not tell you negative things.

Friends are to be honest and supportive.  

Good for you on honoring your marriage.

Answer 2

It's a personal choice... In a way, I am sure he appreciates it.. I think the "exposure" we have leads to some of the distorted thinking and actions we end up with.. body shape and style is a major factor for people.. yes, everyone has the choice to work out and such.. my wife tries real hard to look good, but not give the wrong impression when she goes out, or when we are together.. I believe it shows a security with-in yourself, if you are looking for the attention of not...  

Answer 3

if you are happy about how you work things with your husband then only you can decide to stay the way you are or change.  never question yourself as being a doormat unless ONLY you start to think you are..

Answer 4

I don't really see that as dishonoring your husband. I still wear what I used to wear before i was married. I don't dress S****y or anything...never have, but I'm 25 years old and in good shape so I'm not going to dress in turtlenecks and pants all the time either...and I don't think he would want me to!

EDIT: well who's to say they are staring? If you're not walking around in something extra provocative chances are they're not gawking...no offense but I don't assume men are constantly checking me out lol and if they do who cares? I'm not acting on it

Answer 5

Don't let anyone make you feel bad for being you! It's great to know that there are still decent people out there!

Answer 6

From the way you talk I would say that you are not a Christan and have different beliefs. I am NOT saying that in a bad way, but acknowledging that different religions and different cultures ask different things of us.  I had a friend in high school that was Muslim and stayed with the long sleeves and long pants or skirt at all times, even gym class she wore sweats (I might not remember that part correctly it was 13 years ago) I also gather that from the way you said that you didn't want to dishonor your husband. I completely disagree with your friend calling you a doormat. You are doing what you think is right for you and your family, there is nothing dishonorable in that. For the swimming pool, you can always wear a one piece suit that is modest and covers up a fair amount, or wear a t shirt over it.  If you want to take a swim in front of other males. A bikini isn't for everyone (I saw that you said you were in good shape so I don't mean it like you have something to hide) and you should do and wear what you are comfortable in.

Answer 7

Speaking as a man with my 4th Kid on the way, I want my wife to feel comfortable in what she wears. If she is happy then so am I. She will ask my opinion and I will answer honestly (and sympathetically where difficult questions arise). If my wife wears a slightly low cut top or something s**y then I have the trust in our relationship that she is either doing that for me or she just feels good about herself. The main thing is she always comes home to me at night. As long as you are as confident in your relationship then never be afraid to talk to your partner about things like this. He probably doesn't even know you feel like this and I would hope he would encourage you to wear what you want as it really doesn't matter what people outside of your relationship think. Good luck

Answer 8

do what works for you!

Answer 9

Everyone has different ideas of what is appropriate and what isn't.  I mean, I saw someone in the grocery store yesterday that looked like she was getting ready to go work the corner.  Not appropriate in my eyes, but apparantly she thought it was.  

In my opinion, I do not dress as revealing as I used to when I was single. It is not only about respecting my spouse, but I have also grown up and matured as well.  I know darn well I can dress with everything covered and still look s**y, and actually more s**y.  

I think you might be going a bit overboard with the not letting someone see you in a swimsuit, especially if it is just your family.  But that might also have other issues behind, such as self-confidence or what not.  

Do what you please and what makes you and your husband happy. As long as he isn't forcing you to dress a certain way, then wear what you want.