Open Adoption Help?

Question

Ok, I'm not going to go into allot of detail..so please no hate mail....There is a baby that I know was being abused and could be abused again in the future. I would like to adopt her. The mom was abusing her. The dad is now taking care of the baby but struggling on his own and he works overnight so the baby can not go to daycare. And he has no clue how to raise a kid (he knew the abuse was going on the whole time)(also he went to pick up the baby stoned the other day). He doesn't really want to lose the baby forever though. I am open to doing an open adoption. Any ideas on how to get him to do an open adoption with me. I just don't want things to fall back into place like they were before and that baby being hurt again. The baby is only 6 months old.

Answer 1

I think you should tell him that he either signs over the rights on the baby to you and in exchange he can still play the role of the father or you will contact CPS.  With parents like that if someone doesnt step in the baby will probably get seriously hurt or killed.  It might sound harsh but if anything happens to the child because you didnt do anything would you be able to live with yourself?

Answer 2

Talk to the dad first.  Maybe CPS is already involved.  Offer to help the dad.  If he's using drugs it may be necessary to involve social services in some way, get him in rehab if he's ready.  If you already know this family perhaps you can get a guardian relationship with the child.  That could provide a safe home for the baby where the parents could visit and see their child being well cared for and the child could grow up knowing her parents. Once the father cleans up, he might be able to regain custody, keeping in mind what is  best for the girl.

Answer 3

bribe him with something

Answer 4

It's a good idea to do an open adoption, that way if the parents ever grow up, they can see the baby, and maybe work their way back into his life.  Your gonna have to talk to the dad, he might be willing to let you help him out, then just see the baby on weekends or something.  I'd call a CPS agent and tell them whats going on; also, tell them you want to adopt the baby.  I wouldn't get your heart set on it though.  Good luck!

Answer 5

Hon, that baby has been traumatized already. But the truly sad part is that there probably isn't anything you can do about it unless both mother and father sign off rights to the child. An open adoption from my understanding is an adoption where the biological parents have limited contact with the child. What you are suggesting is to still allow both parents into the child's life even though both of them are very bad role models. I would advise against an open adoption. IF they are even willing to talk about an adoption period. I would start keeping track of things that happen, and I would most certainly let an agency know about the abuse. All is takes is one time getting hit too hard and the child could die. Do what is best for the child, and if you persue the adoption, I would not want the parents involved because of their "parental skills" thus far.

Answer 6

Offer to take the child at night while he is at work, and tell him your concerns about picking the child up if he is stoned.  Tell him, in that case, to call you and you will pick up the baby.  Then tell him he needs to cut out the drug use or he will be in danger of losing his child.

Why is it that our first thought is not to help the parent(s) but to help ourselves to their baby?

Answer 7

I would get information to take with you, simple stuff that he will be able to understand, and talk to him.  Explain that you have the best interest of the baby at heart. And that you don't want to take her from him. Open adoption can be a wonderful thing and is probably your best option right now.

  I hope that when you state yopur case, the dad understands and is willing to cooperate

Good Luck

Answer 8

awww:) you have such a kind heart.

I would advise that you talk to him, offer him loads of help, go to his house and help him out with the baby, and let him see how you love the baby, and how you will take care of him and then maybe tell him if he would like u to do an open adoption, and tell him that he is more than welcome to come and see the lovely baby whenever he likes.

hope it helps:)

Best wishes

Answer 9

Start by talking to him first.  A parent isn't going to give up their child so easily.  You might try to offer him help first.  That way at least you have some influence on good things happening in this child's life.

Answer 10

I strongly suggest that you contact family services in your area, The baby is in trouble and help is urgently required, So, pick up the phone and call the cops if you can't find the number for family services. The baby needs your help--now!

Answer 11

You could ask him how he feels about it.  You can't make a person give their child up if they are not willing to.  But I do feel that you have an obligation to call the police or cps to report this abuse.  The baby can't protect it's self therefore you need to do it for him/her.  If cps or the police find that there is enough evidence to remove the child you can go through the system and try and adopt that way.  Also, cps will work with the dad to get himself healthy enough to care for his child (rehab, parenting classes, counseling) if that is what he wants.  If the dad is willing to give his child to you make sure you do it legally or you are going to have trouble in the future.