Open adoptions contracts should be legalized...?

Question

why on earth doesnt someone change the laws so that open adoption contract are legal?It's not right for a birth mother to be promised an open adoption and then the adopted parents can just go back on their promises/word???That is awful and not right!!!

It should be a legal agreement that the adopted parents legally have to abide by...

thats just not right........

I wouldnt want to give my child up for adoption thinking im doing an open adoption and then after all the papers are signed,not ever be able to see or hear from them again,and they can legally do this....thats so bizarre!!!

Now all adopted parents have to do is make empty promises to get the birth mother to relinquish their baby and then just go on their way.....

What do others think of this???

Answer 1

Open adoption contracts should definitely be enforceable. Gerhsom brings up some good points though. Maybe the contracts should be revised every two years (for example) in case of an out of state move or similar 'problem.' I don't have the answers, sorry.

Answer 2

As if the family courts are not busy enough....between natural parents fighting each other over visitation and child support.

Now we are going to drag loving parents and confused kids into courtrooms so the first parents get their "rights" to play house?

And what happens when the natural family becomes a danger to the welfare of the child after said agreement?

Answer 3

I think if a mother wants to have a relationship with her child she should parent him. And if shes surrendering because she doesn't have the resources to do so(parent) then she should be given them by the state, community, family and help centers.

If the parents are stable enough to be in the childs life, then why aren't they raising him/her?

That aside, yes I think that open adoptions should be legally enforceable. It becomes tricky, ohio has a bill in house that would have enforced it to the best interests of the adoptee, and who gets to decide that best interests? what would they do if one committing party wanted to move state etc.?  I think when the state gets involved with managing relationships ( like reunions in adoption ) everything gets messed up. Its a big ole' mess if you ask me and I don't know how to fix that department.

Answer 4

I agree something shoujld be done, but what if we as adoptive parents agree to openness, but the parents bring unhealthy behaviours into the child's life.  Don't the parents of the child (the legal parents adoptive parents) have the right to do what is best for the kids.  What if you are laid off and have to move to antoehr state/province to take care of your family?

It is awful those who abuse the fact and go back on open adoption, but you can't legalize an agreement for the next 18 years and expect that family to stick with it.  I would never go back on an agreement unless there was danger/harm to my child.  If it were legalized, then I as a parent have had my choices taken away on what is best for my child.

I think mothers should be told this if they are giving up their child, and maybe they won't do it and find a way to parent.

Answer 5

yes

Answer 6

There are many efforts being made to enforce these agreements.  We require any Adoptive Parent to have their openness agreement documented in their Adoption Homestudy, as well as sign an Agreement with the agency stating their adoption can be overturned if they fail to carry through with the continuing contact agreed upon by birthmother and adoptive parents.  More impotantly, we do not work with adoptive parents who are not requesting an open or semi open adoption.  If you have parents who fully understand the importance of openness, and want openness for their child and his/her birth parents, then you can avoid any breach of contract.  In 20 years of conducting adoptions in this manner, we have never had an adoptive parent who did not adhere to and embrace the continuing contact agreement.  (However, we have many birth parents who do not adhere to the contact arrangements.  They have a choice about keeping up the contact, and the adoptive parents do not.  About 50% of birth mothers discontinue their contact with their child after 2 years.  We are working on policies and procesdures which decrease this percentage, as we feel that it is best for the child to have continuing contact with his/her birth parents for the full 18 years.)

In addition there are some landmark cases which are changing the enforcement of continuing contact agreements.  The most dramatic is the Gladney Center for Adoption case in which letters and photos were requested by the birthmother, and promised by adoptive family and agency.  When that did not happen over time, the birthmother filed a lawsuit and the adoption was overturned.  

In two other states, here is some recent work:  

New York law now allows the parties to an agency adoption to "agree to different terms" as to the nature of the biological parents’ post-adoptive relationship with the child. "The statute thus expressly permits parties to agree that the biological parent will retain specified rights—such as visitation with the child—after the adoption, thereby authorizing "open adoptions" for the first time in this State

And, the Joint Legislative Study Commission on Children and Youth voted to approve a recommendation to the 2007 North Carolina General Assembly that would make “post-adoption contact agreements” legally binding. These agreements outline forms of contact or communication that may take place between the family of an adopted child and that child’s biological mother, father, siblings, etc. While such agreements already may be entered into voluntarily under North Carolina law, the Commission’s proposal would formalize the agreements and make them legally enforceable.



It should be legally enforceable in every state, and if contested, probably would now be enforced in many states already.

Answer 7

I agree that open adoption agreements should be legal contracts. I can't imagine how PAPs can make a promise to a bio mom and then not honor it. Cruel is the only word I can think of. It makes me question what kind of person they really are and how they conduct themselves in other aspects of their life and their grasp on what's best for the child.

ETA: theworldneedsmorelove-It is not confusing to our child. She knows the difference between her adoptive parents who raise her and her bio mom. She loves us both and recognizes and accepts adoption is part of who she is. It's not confusing to those who experience it.

Answer 8

what the biological mothers don't realize is that it is very hard for adoptive parents to let their children get to know their biological mother.

it can be very confusing for the child, even if s/he knows that s/he is adopted.

and, depending on the mother, having an open relationship with the child is not a good thing- it can lead to emotional affects that would have been prevented if the child was not around their mother.

i think the best option is to send pictures once in a while, and give the child the option to meet the parent once they are old enough to make the decision responsibly- in their mid-teen years.

Answer 9

that's what my cousins did to their adoptee.  she's a mess now and is intensely troubled.

i wish it would be a legal thing, as well.

Answer 10

What happens if the aparents have to move out of state for work resulting in a change to the open adoption agreement?  Are they supposed to pass up promotions for a woman who wouldn't parent her child?

What happens if the bmom starts getting 'too pushy' and thinks she should make certain decisions?  I'd shut it down.  I'm the child's parent responsible for decisions not her.

What happens if hte bparents decide not to see the child anymore?  will they be penalized?

Should the bparents pay child support then since they get visitation?

....just a few thoughts bouncing around in my empty noggin

Answer 11

Because when you give your child up for adoption...you are giving up your rights to the child.  There would be presidence set regarding parental rights that would be negative for the system.  I realize this is difficult for the birth mother and I feel bad for her..but just because it feels good for her doesn't mean it is good for the child.  They may find after some time that the child is having adjustment issues because of the contact with the birth mother.  Should she be allowed to further complicate the child's life because it makes her happy?

Answer 12

People who go into an Open or semi open agreement should honor that, it goes for both sides too. Because there are birthparents that back out or stop contact.  However Jennifer L is right how would you  go about enforcing it. People who breach the contract would they be fined a large sum of money? , get jail time?  Would the child be taken away?  Regardless how long the child had been with their parents.

It seems pretty biased to me , that birthparents don’t have to stick to the agreement but adoptive parents do. Honestly i think anyone who wants a lot of contact with their birthchild just need to parent themselves.

Answer 13

Yes.  My daughter's best friend lost her baby boy to bold-faced liers (aka a more-deserving, loving couple who would cherish their BM forever) .  I wish I knew 5 years ago what I know today.

Penalties for violations?  Court-ordered payments into programs that help needy families.  If they don't have the money, court ordered service at day care centers for low-income families.  I am also in favor of jail time for repeat offenders.

ETA - Okay so thumbs down for a poor mother (college - no drinking, no drugs, no smoking) who lost contact with her son?  You people ARE pathetic vultures.

Answer 14

Whenever you're talking about making something legally enforcable, the question is, how do you legally enforce it and what should be the penalties for violating the agreement?

I think it's unethical for adoptive parents to make promises like this and then not keep them.  I think it's wrong and I'm not justifying the behavior in any way.  But how do you enforce something like that?  Does the state come in six years later and take the child away because the adoptive family forgot to send pictures one year?  

BTW, Many International adoption requires post-placement reports yearly until the child is 18.  They aren't legally enforcable, as in they can't come track down the adoptive parents and slap them with a fine, but not doing the reports does jeopardize further adoptions.

Answer 15

Ours is a legalized.

Our children were removed for neglect and surrendered by their first parents.

We have a legally binding mediated agreement with one parent.

We adopted in New Hampshire.

Maybe other states do this with foster children as well.