Opinion on my poem?

Question

Feedback or criticism, need some opinions. I'm a beginner, though. Don't expect this to be amazing.

My mind is an ocean

where sparkling waves

hurry to the shore

but collide with others,

the waves shattering apart

like broken dreams.

My mind is an ocean

where the sky weeps

endless downpours of rain

onto chaotic, churning seas below.

When it gets too rough

out at sea

and I start to drown,

the water attempting to swallow me,

you are my rescuer.

My lifeboat.

You pull me aboard into

your warm embrace

and save me from

the turbulent emotions

of my inner ocean.

Answer 1

tht is flipin good

please carry on ritin coz u got awsome talent

Answer 2

It's not amazing by any means, but one thing you have achieved unlike most of the other poems posted on here recently is, you make the reader feel what you feel.

The key to good poetry in reaching the reader is making them feel every anguish, sorrow, insecurity, joy, happiness, isolation frustration, anger...whatever emotion it is you are feeling....you must make the reader feel it through your words.

I think you did a very impressive write considering you are only a "beginner". My advice is keep working at it, keep writing, reading, experimenting and most of all developing your art. Nobody writes perfect poetry, there is no limit to poetry, we are always learning and developing no matter our age.

Answer 3

That feels like a wonderful slow dance to me. You did was wonderfully and I love it. Your poem expresses the way of a special ocean and you get yourself involve into another world. You're struggling in the world until your favorite hero comes to save you from your own struggle. He takes you out of the world and takes you home safely. You just felt protected than ever. I love the way you did with the poem. What you did was excellent! You're on 8 on the 1 to 10 scale. I went through the same thing you went through. I haven't forgotten the title of my poem and it was called the shooting stars. I remember it's my very first poem and everyone in my new class loved it. That inspired me to write more than ever. I hope I gave you the best opinion for you.

Answer 4

i think its perfect. its very good and it seemed like you put a lot into it, i think its very descriptive and paints an image, also expresses a lot.

Answer 5

beautiful poem write more

Answer 6

A lovely poem with a clear message and a hint of love inside there.

You have brought your a clear message without being too obvious and i love your imagery inside it! this is a classy piece of work!