Opinion on small biography?

Question

Okay I need a new small bio for my website and I hate writing them is this okay or do you think something else?

Jamie grew up in Saint John one of Canada's oldest cities. Upon graduating from high school Jamie and his brother Patrick decided to open a small paintball field/store. Wanting to pursue other options Jamie then studied at the Centre for Distant Education in web design. Upon graduating he is eager to join the workforce of web design.

Answer 1

Jamie grew up in Saint John, (province), one of Canada's oldest cities.  Upon graduating from high school, Jamie and his brother Patrick decided to open a small paintball field store.  (Was the store successful?  Is your brother still running the store?  Add something about the store.) This experience was good and Jamie learned alot, but he wanted to pursue other options. He enrolled at the Centre for Distant Education,  (in what city), to study web design.  Since he has graduated he is now very eager to put his skills to work in internet website design.  (Where can people see examples of your work?  Do you have experience in designing someone's website?  If so, get permission from that person to use a clip from your best website design.)  Every business needs a good website.  Let Jamie help you grow your company with the best design that will bring your company business the first day people can access it.