Opinions/advice please. Should my 13 1/2 year old attend great-grandpa's funeral?

Question

My child is disabled, but smart. He knows when something is funny and when it's not, etc. I'm not sure if he understands this particular topic though because we really haven't had to deal with it before.

We would visit about once a week and they would lay down in a spare bedroom to play with musical toys, have their own time to laugh, play, etc. I consider them to have been very close.

Opinions?

Answer 1

In some cultures, that's old enough to be considered an adult.  Here's the real question, though:  Will this child EVER wish that he or she had gone?  If so, take the child now.  There are no do-overs.

Answer 2

yes, i know 13 is young but he must understand life and death. if they were close, then it might bother them but there young and will get over it enentualy

Answer 3

Yes. I'm sure you know your son loved them very much. There is a first time for everything. I'm sure your son don't want to be treated any different then anyone else. You can not always put a right or wrong time on everything. Sometimes you just have to do it. Then all will be able to put it behind them. I Hope all will be ok.

Good Luck

Answer 4

Take him.  He'll need the closure.  I'm still pissed off at my parents for not letting me go to my grandmother's funeral and I was 4 1/2 yrs old.

Answer 5

He is smart enough to understand what has happened if you will just explain it to him.  Don't shelter him from something that is a natural part of life.  This is someone that he knew, played with and grew close to, so give him that chance to acknowledge their relationship and honor great grandpa's memory.  Emphasis that the people that we love live on in our hearts and memories, so you son should remember his great grandpa's life, not just the day of his death.

Answer 6

I would explain to him before hand what he's going to be attending and why. You need to make sure he understands the concept of death and that it isn't a funny situation. Plus, I'm assuming most of the people there know your son and whatever condition he has; they probably won't think twice if something happens.

However, I do think you should bring him along. Everyone is going to have to experience death eventually, and disabled or not, everyone is going to have to deal with it accordingly.

Let him know it's OK to be sad and to cry and to get out all those emotions because it's part of a process that everyone has to go through. Maybe you could let him make something to put in his casket, like a drawing or a picture he decorated.

Good luck!

Answer 7

I dont think it would be very beneficial for him to see someone close to him at their funeral. However, you should know him well enough to figure out how he is influenced by certain predicaments. If his great grandfather would want him to be at the funeral than yes take him. If you are not sure i suggest not taking him because it is not the most pleasant experience...you tend to replay the funeral in your head over and over....its not a good thing.  

Answer 8

He should go, he's grieveing like everyone else is, and he should know that this is what you do when someone close to you dies, you go to a funeral. Honestly he's disabled, not dumb, and you know that, you are his mother.

If it helps, when I was three my mother took me to my grandfather's funeral. I was well behaved because she told me not to be loud or anything because it was a funeral, and to respect grand-dad I would have to be quiet and it's ok that people are crying.

And I'm sorry for sounding mad, i just think disabled children should be able to live like us more, they are smart and respectable and a lot of them are really cool, but it's a shame when they get babied too much. They do need a little bit of special treatment though :)

Answer 9

If he's able to understand what dead is, and that a funeral is a somber event, I don't see why he can't attend.