Opinions of this poem... advice?? help with ending it...?

Question

meh. i doubt this is any good, but i was bored today.

Strangers to my darker thoughts

Foreign to my colder wishes

Indifferent to the streaks of red

Neglect my silent pain

Dare you look upon me now,

With mocking eyes and sympathy?

You face the spite of a thousand clashes

Previous to your ignorance.

i don't know how to end it, or if i should even continue with it, any advice would be very appreciate. : )

Answer 1

You have some good content but flow of words makes for a choppy read. Try the first stanza as this.

Stranger to my darker thoughts

foreign to wishes frozen still

streaks of red breed indifference

as you neglect my silent pain

Most writing that becomes published is writing that goes through editing.  Keep writing but spend time to revise.  Speak the words to hear meter or flow.  It's a great tool in penning poems.