Opinions on my writing capabilities?

Question

The gardener plucks at his life’s work

Soon his bower is dull and gone

He fed his garden twice a day

New thoughts and feelings

Let the used fleet away

He picked a rose, and kept it trimmed

Looking into it’s blank face

He became lost in beauty

Looking at it’s divine thorns

He became found in pain

Ill filled dreams… sudden screams

Oh, impossible arousal

Wake me up from my garden bower

Let magic roam free for a final hour

I looked too long at a fragile space

I lost my haven to an unselfish place

What happened when the garden bloomed?

Newfound ego led the gardener back to sanity.

I wrote it in about 3 minutes with absolutely no feeling or attatchment (although it does carry a story and morals that I believe in), would anyone say that I have potential for working with words? (also I am 14)

Answer 1

I like it.

Answer 2

It was just OK...

Answer 3

You have been working hard on your vocabulary and now have sent half of your readers to the dictionary, which is not always a bad thing.

It is filled with poetic devices, almost to the point of becoming an exercise instead of an expression. It is OK to be a reporter, detached and unbiased.

However, this is not a very useful poetic stance. We want to hear about the things that disturb you deeply. TD

Answer 4

you can fake sincerity if you like but it will never contain the emotion of true love.  Think of the screen or page as artists canvas or even better think of it as a child's empty heart that need to be nourished and . feed it well. . ...

Answer 5

wow. that was powerful. very sad. i luv poetry like that. keep up the good work!

Answer 6

i like it

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 7

this is great. reminds me of keats. i'd say you're ready to be published.