Opinions on these poems?

Question

The gardener plucks at his life’s work

Soon his bower is dull and gone

He fed his garden twice a day

New thoughts and feelings

Let the used fleet away

He picked a rose, and kept it trimmed

Looking into it’s blank face

He became lost in beauty

Looking at it’s divine thorns

He became found in pain

A feast of senses,

Ill filled dreams… sudden screams

Oh, impossible arousal

Wake me up from my garden bower

Let lust roam free for a final hour

I looked too long at a fragile space

I lost my haven to an unselfish place

What happened when the garden bloomed?

Newfound ego led the gardener back to sanity,

He’s coming back to the irreverent vanity.

Answer 1

When writing poetry you can't mention much. You have to keep the story really hidden to make the reader wonder. Theres a quote that states a poem is heavier then a novel which is true because it could have countless stories.

Answer 2

This is the one I liked,  

The first misinterpreted touch of feeling,

The last understood sound of reason

A moan left shrieking through your halls

“I’m all lost” you say

Sitting in the middle of your room

Tinkering with your spinning bottle

There’s only two of us, I know what you’re getting at.

I not quite sure  why I like it but I do, maybe because it relates to adolescences and how kids can be!

The others maybe a little wordy, but I feel you have lots of talent maybe they need more structure, you have a good imagination and good vocabulary, so keep at it!! Would enjoy reading more from you!!  Cheers!!

Answer 3

To over worked, sorry but this feels like itis a story waiting to come out, way over written for poetry, very hard to follow, try again, use more concise wording next time.

Answer 4

Wonderfuly written poems?Very nice?