Our 14.5 month old daughter wants to go to me more than my wife?

Question

Ok..right now my 14 1/2 month old daughter wants everyhting to do with me and almost nothing to do with my wife, unless its just the two of them. And its not just me its like this with other people to..Anytime I am around, she always wants to be playing with me, and being in my arms, if I try to give her to my wife, she cries and reaches back for me. This absolutely breaks my wives heart, and she is having a hard time with it. At first we thought it was becasue she was the one who was always around, and was the one who took her and picked her up from daycare and took care of her at night while I was at work, as she was in bed by the time I got home. So when she saw me it was like someone new that she hardly got to see. Now, things have changed, and just this week, now I am the one taking her and picking her up, and we get a couple of hours in the afternoon together before I have to go to work, and she still is wanting to be with me more than my wife. Is this just a phase?

Answer 1

Yes, it is just a phase.  Your wife is probably doing most of the discipline, feeding, etc.  all of the mundane tasks, while you play and smile, and basically mirror the enthusiasm that your daughter feels for you.  And it is true, Daddy's little girl vs.  Mommy's little boy.  

I recently started working after staying at home with my son.  He used to be the same way with me, attached.  He would cry if his dad tried to do things for him.  Now, he could care less about me!! (He is now 18 months--I started working right around the 14 month period) They just get so independent once they start walking.  He still has his moments where he comes and snuggles with me or his dad....but this is just the way it is with kids!!  They don't stay small and dependent forever.

I know how your wife feels.  But there will come  a day where her little girl is going to need her advice and is going to look up to her.  These are times when you most likely won't know what to do (girls!!), but your wife will know right away.  And your daughter will learn quick that she needs mom. They will grow a bond, but when the kids are this young it is so impulsive, and you may be the one that gives her the most reward with smiles and excitement!!  And your daughter will never lose her special spot for you, there are plenty of psychological reasons why girls crave a father's love and acceptance.  Be there for her and she will be a confident and capable woman when she grows up!!

Answer 2

I was like that with my Daddy. My parents told me that I was always wanting to be with him, spend time with him, etc. My mom was pretty upset about it for a while. Its safe to say that I am a Daddy's girl. However, now that I am older, I go to my mom for more things. I am 19 now, and I love my parents very much, but Mama is my best friend. I would telly our wife not to get too upset. Your daughter may just be a Daddy's girl :) Even so, there will come a time when she wants her mother. I hope this helps!

Answer 3

This is a totally normal phase, and honestly it's very healthy that a child prefers one parent over the other at certain stages of development. It means you're raising a well adjusted child! Before you know it, she'll be pushing you away in favor of your wife!

Answer 4

Daddy's Little Girl

(most little girls always wants there daddy over mommy.)

Answer 5

i think your wife shouldn't take it so hard.  she should keep being a good mum, and her gal would eventually come around.  

the truth is that in most families, the kids are closer to a parent than the other.  this doesn't mean they hate the other parent.  it could just be that the more popular parent has an attractive personality.

Answer 6

yes its just a phase, I wouldnt worry about it.

Answer 7

My daughter choses my husband (her daddy) over me and I'm thrilled! She's a pappa-girl!

This may be incredibly false so please forgive me....but I just want to bring something up...is it possible that your wife is abusing your daughter? If you see any unexplained brusing, reddening on her face, arms, legs for a period of time then it should be questioned!! Do you hear your daughter scream or cry when the 2 of them are alone in a room?

Keep this in mind. I am probably wrong, but it's good to be aware of things!

If everything is normal, then tell your wife to have another baby and try to get a boy..haha. Then she'll have a mamma boy for sure! I certainly do!!! My 3 yr old son wants me over my husband sometimes!

Answer 8

I am the neglected mommy in this question. ;-)

I would like to first of all, thank my husband. I am so grateful to you. You keep me strong and I am so thankful for the caring and loving way you posted this to find a way to ease the pain of this phase. It hurts, but I do understand why she loves you so much. You are a fantastic daddy, and a wonderful man. I love you.

I would also like to thank the people who have answered his question. I appreciate the support. More than I can say!

And to the lady who suggested there may be abuse, that couldn't be farther from the truth. Period.

Answer 9

tell her not to feel to awful my eight month old prefers my boyfriend to me. :( oh well, yes my two year old had his favorites too and he did grow out of most of it.  It probably has more to do with the fact that mom spends most of her time with baby cleaning and caring for her and the house while dads tend to spend more time playing. This makes mom the boring one, but also the one she will want when she gets hurt and needs comfort. It'll be alright. :)

Answer 10

Daughters are usually  more attached to their father. Mom means business but dad is fun. I went through it too. but Your daughter needs affection of both the parents. It is healthy.

Nothing to worry about. I went through it as a mom so I can understand what your wife is going through. In the evening when my husband can home my daughter would push me away to go to my husband. I felt very hurt then but she loves both of us and we share all the details about school and friends today. She is a teenager now.

You will be taking her soon for all the sports too:)

Answer 11

This is called the Oedipus syndrome( for boys) and p***s envy( for girls). Basically, the child see the love that the mother show to you and try to imitate the mother. Therefore needing more of your attention and less of the mothers. The child is with the mother alot and knows that she has won her over for her attention but when you come home the moms also gives you attention. The child's goal is to get as much attention as possible, from you. There is alto more into to this but it would take forever to explain. By the way this is a theory developed by Freud. And if you read into Freud's theory, please know that when he references s*x, he means gender and not sexual meanings.

Answer 12

Yes it is a phase. She will grow out of this when she gets older.

Answer 13

It is just a phase she will grow out of that I know it's really hard on your wife right now.  Iwent through it with my daughter as well.  I was always around her and he father not so much, but when he was around, she was daddy's little girl.  It broke my heart a couple of times but now she is 4 and has no problem going to either one of us.  It will take longer than a week of daddy time for her to get adjusted.  So just be patient and things will turn out i am sure.