Our best friend's daughter just found out she is pregnant. How can we help them without getting too involved??

Question

The daughter is 16 years old and the father (15 years old) does not want to talk to her anymore.

I have volunteered to help them watch the baby when it's born as much as they want (I am a stay at home mother with my own children anyway), but is there anything else we can do without overstepping our boundaries??

Answer 1

Just make sure you support the daughter and her parents. This is going to be hard. Just make sure they know you are there if they need anything. The girl may want a parenting perspective from someone who she trusts and isn't her own mother.

Answer 2

i think theres really nothing you could do as just a friend. not even as a family member.  I mean its a really touchy subject given the circumstances.  All I can think of is just give them as much support as possible. and you know the parents will either except it or not.........  

Answer 3

thats fine, you have done the best you can. Now she can get an education and have a good life for her baby. Maybe offer some old baby clothes or toys or sometihng as she wont have a lot of money, Some times and accident is something that can be good...  

Answer 4

why would you do that ?> let her watch her own kid, its hers. GEESH why do some of you make it so acceptable in these kids eyes.

She doesnt need  a break, she needs to be reminded that shes a mother, and why cant the girls mothers kid watch the baby

ID stay out of it, period

Answer 5

I would offer (if she doesn't have a car) a ride to doctors appoitments and other baby related visits. you could also as a gift get her size 2-3 diapers (everyone always gives 1's and they grow out of them so fast) and other baby related materials that are difficult to aquire when your a teen. You could also bake/buy easy to prepare food for after her delivery to make the transion from teen to parent a little easier. If like any other mother i know start talking the pregancy/baby needing of advice it helps to have some from experienced mothers that are older

Answer 6

since it's your best friend's daughter, be available to your friend since this is an adjustment for the whole family.  if they just found out, then there will be time for needs to surface, and what they think they need now may change by the time the baby comes.  beyond your offer to help with the baby, i think being willing to walk with them during this time is one of the best things you can offer.  then, if they ask for other things, or you see needs after the baby comes that are very obvious, you can discern how to proceed.  hope this helps!

Answer 7

OK, ONCE AGAIN, PEOPLE ON HERE ARE RUDE, LIKE THE FIRST COMMENT!!  Everybody makes mistakes, a 16 year old is not ready to be a mother, but she did something irresponsible, and now she is pregnant.  THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHE HAS TO BE PUNISHED.  It is very nice of you to offer your help in watching the baby, this 16 year old is going to need to grow up rather fast, school is the MOST important thing after her child.  AND, she is still going to need to be able to be a teen-ager, I mean one can't expect her to not be involved in a normal teenage life because she has a baby.  Granted she won't be able to go to all the partys, dances, games, etc. other kids do, but once in a while SHE NEEDS TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT!!  I think just telling her parents that you are there for them if they want to talk, or even there for their daughter if she wants to come over and maybe get some experience being with children.  I don't think your overstepping any boundaries....it takes a village to raise a child.  Thank You for being an understanding and caring person to someone else who is going through some hard times.

Answer 8

First off back off.

You offered them help. Your done. Don't push it.

If they require help they will ask.

Answer 9

Are people really that naive. Yes teen pregnancy is an issue, yes she should have been more responsible, yes she should be held accountable for her actions. But since she is already pregnant and it cannot be undone I think it's a good thing that you are willing to help out. Because by you being in her corner and helping out maybe she can finish high school and do something with her life.  

Answer 10

shes 16..you sound like you are condoning her behaviour.

Step back, offer any second hand baby items you may have, or buy her something new for the baby..but its HER baby. SHE was stupid enough to fall pregnant..SHE should be the one looking after HER own kid...and its THIER daughter...so step back and let them, as a family, deal with it.

Worry about your own kids..and do what you can to ensure THEY dont come home pregnant at 16

Answer 11

do what her parents would do just show her love and support and let her know that if she needs anything she can come to you  

Answer 12

All you can do is let them know that your there for them all whenever they want or need you. Its so good that they have someone like you who will be there for both the daughter and the parents!

If you tell them your there for them and offer to babysit etc then they know you are willing to help and if the help is wanted they will ask. You hav done everything you can, now just sit back ad wait :).  

Answer 13

let her know you're there if she needs someone to talk to (most people appreciate the thought but don't actually follow thru!) and see if she needs anything...maybe you could pick up some baby clothes at garage sales, give her a ride to the doctor if she needs it...just being someone who is willing to help her and is not judgemental of her situation will help alot