Our culture includes hugging when we greet someone. My boyfriend thinks it's inappropriate w/ opposit s*x.

Question

When I greet my friends there is freindly hugging. Do you think this is inappropriate with the opposite s*x? I'm not talking about big bear hugs. I'm talking about just a general friendly hug. Also, how do you politely turn down a hug? I'd like to do what the Japanese do and bow. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

good thing he's not my boyfriend.all my friends I love like a brother and males and females get big hugs and a kiss on the cheek.My husband of 10 years  doesn't mind.

Answer 2

It's more socially awkward to bow unless it's an inside gig with your friends.  You could always give a fist pound or a high five.  That helps me.

There is however an issue that might arise with your boyfriend.  If he's not comfortable enough that you have friends of the opposite s*x, then perhaps he's a little too overprotective.  I may also be wrong about that, but it's something to consider.  If he's not okay enough with your relationship in order for you to keep your friends, it could be harmful to your relationship.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with a torso hug, you know the kind where your shoulders and chests meet and nothing else.

Doing a full on body hug with crotches touching could be considered inappropriate in certain situations.

BTW, for clarity sake, your boyfriend hugs guys but not women? Sounds a little fruity to me.

Answer 4

Start bowing.  Seriously, so your BF thinks only men should huge men and women hug women.  Hummmmm! Maybe that is what he would love to do with other men.

Answer 5

That is odd. He sounds like he's insecure. If it's just a quick hug it's very socially acceptable in Western society so not sure what his problem is. Turning down a hug would come across as cold and unfriendly and rejecting the other person. Your bf has no right to tell you what to do with this as long as you're just quickly hugging other guys and it's nothing sexual. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to hug other girls. He can just stick out his right hand in an offer to shake hands instead. It comes across as a bit cold and nerdy, but that's his problem, not yours.

Answer 6

Hugging is great . i wish more american guys would hug each other . Hugging the opposite s*x is not wrong , that is so silly to think that way .. youre boy friend is jealous plain and simple .

well the courteous person will not usually hug someone they do not know unless they have their permission or unless it is an emotional embrace in a variety of different circumstances when we just need a hug from someone. the rule of thumb is to ask under normal circumstances .

the way to handle an unwanted hug , is to politely  step back and reach out youre hand and say quietly and politely i prefer to shake hands ... unless it is a foreign ccustom to hug then it should be fine.

Andy

Answer 7

I would never hug a guy or let him hug me if he isnt my family or boyfriend.  Hug is too serious for just friends.

Answer 8

Your stance should be a bit back..with hands in front to grip the persons hands to deflect the hug.  Hugs can be kind of personal.  And for some people they are a health hazzard.  a warm squeeze of the hands is sufficient.  With a smile of course.  

Some people just nod politely. No physical contact encouraged.