Our first anniversary and hubby wants to spend it at his fam reunion??!! ?

Question

Our wedding anniversary and his family reunion both fall on the same date.

We live in MD, the family reunion is in NC.

This is our very first wedding anniversary and I don't want to spend it in NC at a family reunion. Am I wrong?

My hubby wants to go to it, because he did not go last year (understandably - because it was our wedding day!!) Now, I could see if this was our 7th or 3rd or something less significant than our very first anniversary. I told him, you will have oodles more family reunions but only 1 first anniversary.

He says that if we go to the reunion we can go out to eat one of the nights, just the two of us.

I don't want to do that. I don't want to spend the whole weekend at a family reunion. And it makes me feel like he is putting his family and himself before his wife and his anniversary.

We will be going on a cruise one week later to celebrate our wedding, and he keeps referencing back to that. But, even though we're going on the cruise, it doesn't make our actual anniversary date obsolete.

Am I being unfair?

Answer 1

No... you are not being too unfair.......

Even though you are going on a cruise later.....

Nothing takes the place of that special day.....

Yes... he needs to see his family and you need to get to meet and know them.... you never know who may not be at the family reunion next year due to someone passing.... and you do not want him to throw that up to you in the future....

Hopefully you will have more anniversaries... but unfortunately... we never know when it is our time either.... and once again....... nothing is like that 1st anniversary.........

So you need to meet each other half way.....

Maybe something like this..............

If the family reunion more than 1 day....  then

spend some time with his family on that day.. say till about 3ish.... then the remainder of the day and night is for just the two of you... a nice dinner out and nite at a hotel....

If the family reunion is just one day..... then

spend the day with the family till about 6ish .... then the dinner out and a nite at a hotel......

regardless.... you need that nite alone and to yourselves.....

Good Luck and

HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARY!!!

Answer 2

Your lucky to have your husband home for your first anniversary....my son and his wife were not together because he was in Irqa....I guaranty my daughter-in-law would have rather been at a family reunion with my son then alone with him in another country being shot at....I just thought you might like to see how lucky you are to have him here with you...

Answer 3

well i think your are being just plain rude!! he just left his family, missed a reunion and now you want him to miss it again! remember, he was with them for most of his life.. and you only a year. I think your pushing for a divorce!! theres a new movie out with Ice cube in it. You need to watch it!!

Answer 4

I think you are being way to unfair.  Especially because you have a one-week cruise planned.  You are way to stuck on the actual date on the calendar.  So what, that you won't be doing something on the actual DATE.  It's not about a date on the calendar it's about celebrating the event and again you have a cruise for a week to do it.  Dang, that's a heck of a lot more than most people married 10 years do for their anniversary so honey be grateful.  

You also need to think that maybe going to the family reunion will be nice now that you are married.  He'll introduce you to everyone as his wife, etc.  Who knows they may even do something special for yall?  If the reunion is a weekend --- then I agree with him, just go out one night and do something special to recognize the date and then be done with it and enjoy the reunion.

You have a long ways to go with marriage to be having a fit over something so trivial already.   Marriage is about giving and taking and right now you need to give a little and respect his wishes a little this time.  Apologize to him for being such a baby about it and go and enjoy the reunion.

Marriage is not about a silly little date on the calendar --- it's a lifelong journey of making memorable moments.

Answer 5

Hon...I have to be honest here.  You have a fabulous guy...he is wonderful, charrming, and he cares for both you and his family.  He is making time to be with both you and his family.  His family chooses to get together at this time because it seems to be the time of year that they enjoy it...but I might add as well that since they had the reunion last year at the same time...why was the wedding planned for the same weekend that his family reunion is on...did anybody think about this prior to setting the date?  Anyway,  Love him for the wonderful husband that he is.  Go and let him enjoy his family.  Be gracious, accomodating, loving, and supportive.  Then on your anniversary night...have a nice evening out...just the two of you and buy a little something just for the two of you and enjoy each other.  The cruise is just a week away and you will have an entire week to enjoy your anniversary.  This is married life now.  Compromise is key and learning to negotiate is a must.  Make this a win-win for both instead of a win-lose.  

Happy Anniversary

Good Luck

Answer 6

get over it you are being unfair  

Answer 7

It's not a big deal.  On our first anniversary we had a lame b-day party to go to.  Tuesday was our 2nd anniversary and I had a board meeting and he had to coach football so by the time we even saw eachother it was like 10pm so we did it real quick and went to sleep:)

It's just a day.  You can celebrate anytime.  Just think it will sort of be like the wedding with all of the family there:)

Answer 8

Yes, you are being unfair.  Your "feelings", you say " And it makes me feel like he is putting his family and himself before his wife and his anniversary."

1. He didnt forget your anniversary

2. Coincidental the fam reunion and your anniversary are the same wkend

3. He still planned to make time for just the two of you on the anniversary

4. The man is taking you on a cruise...one week later.

Come on, compromise. Enjoy the family reunion. Get to know the family. Please your mate and stop "feeling". Us women and our emotions is the death of good relationships with men.  

Married one year, eh?  It is time you give up the "I's" for "Us" (tyler perry)

Answer 9

your being selfish and childish. im sorry but i so cant agree w/ your train of thought.

yes your being very unfair

Answer 10

ok not to sound so in your face...but how old are you? I mean I understand that this is your first anniversary but it is his only reunion..and of course there will be more but what if someone dies in the meantime and he could have went to see them one last time. Just like you said there will be more reunions....there will also be more anniversaries. And just think you will have a very nice cruise. You said that he is only thinking of himself, but you are the one who sounds very selfish and no it isn't fair for either of you. One thing that you have to keep in mind about marriage....it's a constant compromise. Everyday should be an anniversary. It's a brand new day that you are sharing as a married couple. Don't let this ruin your marriage before it even starts good. Remember compromise is a great ingredient for a wonderful and prosperous marriage.

Answer 11

Indeed you are being "unfair" - He's compromising as best he can and considering you will be married many more years <hopefully> and you won't be spending each and every one of them at this family reunion, you should 'bend like a willow' on this - especially since he's taking you out to a nice dinner and you're going on a cruise one week later.

Honey, if you don't want him?  I'll take him off your hands...There, does that answer your question?

Sincerely,

Grace

Answer 12

Sorry to say, but yes you are being unreasonable!!

Sweetheart, you two will be together even though its at the family reunion and that's what counts on your anniversary! And you two will be going on a cruise later on....

I've been married for 6 years now and on our first anniversary we went car shopping (I totaled mines..lol) and to McDonalds for dinner...

And believe it or not that was the best McDonalds ever!! lol I got to spend it with the one I love laughing and joking around.  Shoot! At least your man wants to take you to dinner...lol

But seriously being married is about compromising and it sounds like he's willing to compromise with you but you aren't willing to compromise with him.....

Plus, he probably wants to show you off at his family reunion...so get your hair done/toes & nails done and find you some really cute outfits to be shown off in!!! :-)  And have as much s*x as possible!!!!!!!!

Answer 13

no i dont think you are being unfair.  but he didnt go the reunion last year so he wants to go this year.  thats marriage, sacrifice, compromise.  the date you celebrate is only a date, its the feelings, the commitment to each other that counts.  you guys are going on a cruise for a whole week.  celebrate then.

Answer 14

Yes, you are being unfair.  You are going on a vacation to celebrate your anniversary, for an entire week, just the two of you.  Suck it up, compromise, and you will be more likely to be celebrating anniversary numbers 5, 10, 20, and 30 together as well.  

Answer 15

You will have plenty of anniversaries. This might be a last chance for him to see some family members you never know. COMPROMISE is the key to marriage, you need to do just that.

Answer 16

Why is the actual date is so important to you? Seems like you can have the best of both worlds - go to the family reunion AND go on a cruise to celebrate your marriage. Why not do both? So what if the cruise is just a few days later? The actual date doesn't matter, what matters is the spirt of marriage - this is what you would be celebrating. He's not "putting his family first" - he's proposing a very reasonable compromise to accommodate you both. It is you who doesn't want to compromise - and thus you are compromising the very idea of marriage. There will be a lot of give-and-take in the years to come - learn to pick your battles. It's great that you have found the man who loves his family and for whom family is important. Appreciate him for who he is. And lighten up - going on a cruise is so much fun, even if it doesn't fall on the EXACT date of your anniversary. Don't sweat the small stuff. Congrats.

Answer 17

I think you are being unreasonable and high maintenance. What's waiting an extra week? It's just a day...you are with this man every day; he wants to see his family. He is trying to compromise...taking you out, going on a cruise the week after...what's so important about it being the EXACT date?

Maybe grow up a little and learn compromise?