Our neighbor down the road is constintly scolding my 12 year old, her 12 & 10 year old can do no wrong,.?

Question

My son is a typical boy, this women came down to my house to scold my child for calling her ten year old a twirp. I need advice before I tell this women where to go.

Answer 1

Tell your son to stop calling this woman's son a twirp.  The other mother has every right to defend her child..YOUR child was wrong.  Suck up and deal with that fact.

Answer 2

well dont let your kids play together.  i hope you made your son apologise for calling them a thirp - its not nice - but by making your child apologise they may think twice before he does it again.

Answer 3

first and foremost she was out of line to come to your house and scold your child when she could've talked to you about it, secondly if your son did call her names i hope he had apologized, not because the woman scolded him, but because it's the polite thing to do.Thirdly i would go to her house and talk to her about the way she scolded your son without speaking to you about it, i would tell her it was inappropriate and in the future should anything like this ever happen again if she can be mature about it and  speak to you as oppose to scolding your son about it.

Answer 4

Tell her that she is not your childs  parent and if she has an issue with something he said or did then she can address it with you.  I can't believe she is mad about her kid being called "twirp"  SO WHAT!!!! WHAAAA.  She is just going to make her kids into little whiney babies who cry when they get called a name.  I do tell my kids NOT to call people names and ask how they would feel if the same were being done to them, however, they don't whine about it if they do.  Good luck, you may be in for a battle with this mom.

Answer 5

If girlfriend had the b*lls to walk to your home, she should have discussed it with you (and dealt with your wrath!). Maybe she's uncomfortable dealing with boys (I have fam like that believe boys have too much energy). Tell your son not to play with that woman's daughters!

Answer 6

If that happened to me I would be mad that my kid called her kid a name, but at the same time I am the one to deal with my child, she should have called you up and not talked to your child first.  Go call her up and tell her that you deal with your child not her.

Answer 7

say shut da **** up and get out of my childs face. its a problem between da boys and name calling , =. let dem handle it. not her ,she got no rite 4 scolding ur son .give her apiece of ur mind . trust me i would.

Answer 8

HAHA, a twirp? and she's complaining about that?? It could have been a lot worse. Tell that b**** to back off and mind her own business

Answer 9

I have a similar situation with my neighbor.  My kids are very well-mannered and play nicely with everyone.  Her kids are nightmares.   Her son called my daughter "Anna Banana."  In turn, she called him "Nate on a plate."  He whacked her with a baseball bat.  She yelled at my daughter for calling HIM names!!

I just don't let them play together anymore.  In my experience, a parent like this is not going to change, and her kids are not going to change.

Answer 10

She sounds like a very over-protective, know it all (not a good combo) kind of parent. If your son and her children are not friends then just tell your son to leave them alone and play with his other friends. If they are friends then you need to have a word with the woman and explain that you know it was wrong for your son to call hers what he did but she has no right to try and discipline your child for you.

Answer 11

well i would have said something then, she should have handled it with you instead of your child,  i would tell her if there is a problem come to me to handle it, you don't correct her child and you don't apperciate it that she had the nerve to address your child, that you can handle displining your children that you don't need her help, so if there is a problem be a women an address you

sorry live in an apartment complex deal with this type of situation ever summer

Answer 12

Think carefully about what you will say.  To be honest, the idea that she is going to fight her kids' "battles" is not doing her children any favors.  Kids are mean to each other and getting in between their fights (especially with siblings) only makes it worse.

I would probably start off by telling her this and that children will be children, and that unless there is a serious issue, meaning blood and wounds, etc. that she needs to let the kids "develop the skills to resolve their own differences."   In other words, help her learn to teach her kids valuable skills and maybe she'll get the point.

I doubt your son called hers a twirp out of no where.  What she needs to understand is that there is always a cause to an effect.  Unless she witnesses and comprehends fully both sides, she needs to not make assumptions.  If she witnesses something that the kids can't resolve themselves, she should mediate, not take sides.  That's how children learn problem resolving skills and learn not to escalate things into ugly situations.

If that doesn't work, then I'd be inclined to tell her that her children will have few friends if they are allowed to "dish it out"  to other kids, then have their "mommy" go verbally trash the other kid and that yours won't be among them.  It's a fast road to insuring all the other kids hate hers.

Explain to your son that what this mother is doing is wrong and why.  At 12, he's more than old enough to get it.  Ask him how he feels when she does that and whether or not he can brush it off as her craziness.  If he can, let things be.

And the next time she comes over to rant, tell her you are having NONE of it and neither is your son and that she needs to hold her tongue around your son or expect to get it from you for HER abuse.  Then shut the door on her.

No where in here have you attacked her kids which will put her on the defensive.  She may get it or not.  Ultimately part of what your son has to learn is how to cope with difficult personalities and to make his choices whether or not he wants to hang with kids who have a crazy witch as a mom.  

Best of luck and be sure your son knows you're behind him.  That will help him feel good about himself.

Answer 13

remember you can not win with a parent like this and whatever you do it will in someway affect your son.  We have a neighbor that thought it was fine her 13 year old was beating the c**p out of 7 and 8 year old kids around the neighborhood, setting things on fire and vandalizing others property.  When they were confronted she always blamed it on our kids that they were the bad influence.  When we got mad or upset then the kids thought that was the way to deal with it so instead we just banned the child from our yards and told the kids to stay away from her.  if she learned to act right then we would reconsider. So far it is working all of the kids are happier and peace has been restored to the neighborhood and all of the parents work together to make sure it stays that way.  i feel sorry for the girl though because her mother is teaching her that there is no consequences for her actions and she will suffer later in life.

Answer 14

Politely tell her to back off and scold at her own kids.

Do not do the same as she does, since what she is doing is just plain wrong.

Answer 15

Yell at her back and say that is not her job to be scolding your child. She will probably be imbarrassed and won't do it again!

Answer 16

If someone was scolding my kids for something they had actually done that was inappropriate (like calling someone a twerp), I'd be fine with that -- even if my kid was less in the wrong than the other kid.  Of course it's annoying when someone singles out your kid while their own are running wild, but actually they're doing your kid a favor by showing them there are consequences for bad behavior.  I don't care so much how other kids turn out, but I want mine to turn into great people.  :-)  

If her language was inappropriate or she was threatening in some way, that's different, and I'd tell her if she has a problem with my kids to bring it to me, not them.

Answer 17

i'd tell her where to go!  She should deal with you and not your son; very immature.  I've had this problem and i assertively told the woman that if she has a problem, she needs to talk to me.  i also take up for my kids in front of others.  if they did something wrong, i tell them in private.

Answer 18

I doubt that she thinks her children are perfect angels. Please.  Your son shouldn't be calling other kids name Period. End of story. If you don't like her correcting your child then speak to her about it as nicely and politely as possible. Give her your phone number so that she can call you about it. Do you have any examples of where her children were wrong? Bring that up to her as well.

I've been in this situation. My brothers and I were constantly teased by this annoying bully in our neighborhood who was a year older than me. My mother made me go to his parents to tell them about what was going on. His father yelled at me saying that we weren't perfect angels. I was rude back to him. I didn't want to go there. I didn't have a problem with it. I thought the boy was stupid anyway. Nothing he said to me made a difference. But I can tell you that my brothers and I were good. We weren't the troublemakers. His father was in denial about how bad his son was. That's the other side. Maybe it's completely different in your situation. But you need to back up your assertions.   This father had no clue about what was going on and that's why I think he got so defensive. He even said that not everyone is going to like me. What does that have to do with anything?  I was just telling him that my mother was tired of his son picking on my brothers and he needed to stop. That's it. Don't make the situation worse. My parents sat down with his parents. Do you know that my parents started siding with his parents???  Parents don't always know what's going on.

If you are out of the situation then you don't know what is going on. Involve yourself to find out the real deal. Be more objective.  Don't just stick up for your son when he may in fact be the problem. Catch it now rather than later.

Myself: I'm mild mannered, nice, laid back, and get along with most people. I didn't have a problem with this kid but my younger brothers did. This kid was relentless. His parents weren't home much so they had no idea what he was really doing. He used to spy on me, him and his friend. I would see them in our neighbor's yard in their trees/bushes. I doubt his parents had any clue what they were up to.