Our roommate just found out she's pregnant & She would like my husband and I to adopt the baby..?

Question

She is 18 & already has a 13mth old.She is single and has nothing to do with either father. She cannot financially handle nor is able to provide enough attention for two children so close in age and wanted an only child, but even the pill isn't 100%.

From day one the baby will know he/she is adopted and b-mother will continue to live with us. It will be a very open adoption.

We live in Florida. Does anyone know the best way to go through with this. PLEASE no rude comments.We are trying to do what's best for the birthmom and her other child as well as the new baby. Abortion is NOT an option. We are all PRO-LIFE and came to me and asked if my husband and i would adopt her baby.We are financially stable and were actively trying to concieve since we suffered a stillbirth on Aug. 31, 2007. As I said we are just trying to do what's best for everyone!

Answer 1

I have no idea how the process works but I think it's great that you want to give the baby a loving home. If this is something that you all three agree on then I'm sure it will all work out. Good luck!

Answer 2

What you need to do is call an adoption lawyer and tell them what is going on. My husaband and I did the samething kinda when we adopted our daughter. We adopted her from my neice. We are doing the samething you are allowing the birth mom to be in her life and she will know that she is adopted.  She is still in our lifes as well. People on here will tell you not do this bc its hard. YEs in away it is but the birth mom knows this is whats best for her baby. Go thorugh with it. Sorry about your lost in Aug. Good luck and go for it:):)

Answer 3

I just want to say that it sounds like a great situation.  My son is 4.5 yrs old.  I was 23 when I gave him up.  I already had my 3 yr old and neither father in the picture.  It was the best decision I ever made.  My best friend's (since 4th grade) mother had remarried and her husband didn't have any children.  She was 46 and could not conceive one of their own together so they were approved to adopt and was just waiting for a birthmom to choose them.  I wasn't comfortable with having to get the know a strange family strickly to give up my baby, so I had asked them if they would consider adopting mine.  I had known them forever!  We all decided it was the best decision and since our families had always been close.  Our moms used to hang out when we were in middle school.  

Long story short, I have not regretted it to this day.  I do tend to stay away more often than they wanted me to.  But for me, I know he is in a good home.  I would consider the living arrangements though.  She is young, and may not be able to handle living together with the baby.  That would be a bit difficult.  Please do not hesitate to give her my email address if she wants to talk.  I am a good listener and had my first child at 19 yrs old.  

Take Care and I will pray for all of you.

Answer 4

I think you are doing God's work. Adoption is one of the most visible acts of love one person can do for another. God bless you and your husband. For help, I would contact Focus on the Family (http://www.focusonthefamily.com/) and ask for assistance on adoption or Shohanna's hope (www.shaohannahshope.org/). These organizations will help get you on your way.

May God bless all of you!

Answer 5

I don't think that your plan has been thought through very well.   Please, please get professional counseling for all parties.  Her baby will not mend the hole in your heart that was left by the tragic loss of your child.  And for the expectant mother, how would you feel if you had to live with the people who your own child was calling mommy and daddy?

I think that you are all opening yourselves up to a world of pain.  If you are truly trying to do what is best for everyone (especially the child), why don't your encourage and help your friend to keep her child?

Answer 6

You better make sure this father doesn't want his child first because there was a case a couple of years ago and the father was not informed of the baby and the adopted couple raise this child for 4 years and had to return the child to the mother and then the father fought her in court and won his child back. This case was in flordia  White vs scott.

My son has been fighting for his son taking through adoption without his consent. The couple still have him for now but he get visitaion and he uses it to. He was not informed about pregancy or the adoption plan.. So make sure you do it right.

Answer 7

Hey how is it goin, maybe not so good. Well what i think you should do is follow your heart if you are kind and think you can provide for these children or the one child than go ahead and do this for her maybe one day she will get the child back when she is ready and up on her feet be sure to let the child see her mama from time to time so atleast they know who there mother is..out of respect of course...but you know just do what you think is right...if you have space go for it if you have raised kids before go for it but if you truely love kids then go for it!!!

                 god bless you and the mother of the child and i hope you pic my answer and make the right decision.

Answer 8

If you will continue to live together anyway, couldn't you help your friend most by just caring for the little baby in your home?  Respectfully, I suggest you don't need a legal paper that terminates your friend's motherhood just to help care for a child already in your home.

Answer 9

it may be quite a struggle because you'll still have to see that woman and even after you adopt the baby she might want it back in the future.. that baby is her flesh and blood and she might start to wonder why shegive away her baby..

i dont know wat to say.. just make sure you know what you'r doing i guess !!