Our teenage daughter is pregnant and would like us to adopt the baby. How do we go about this?

Question

Our daughter just turned 16 and had refused any other option. We would also like to adopt the baby and need t know what we have to do to get the legal process going.

Answer 1

I actually have family member  that did this their daughter got pregnant and they adopted their grandchild.  The guy who must be in his late 30’s early 40’s now is not confused at all. He knows his situation he knows his sister is biological his mother and that his parents are biological his grandparents. That his brothers and sister are his biolgoical Aunt and Uncles.  etc

As many people said you should wait until after the baby is born your daughter cant give up her rights until then anyways. Even after she gives birth you might consider not official adopting for 6month to a year and just taking guardianship of your grandchild. If after that time has passed and your daughter still wishes for you to adopt you can start the process.

Since the child will already be living with you and knows you it and you would have been the primary caretaker already. The only  adjustment would be if you decided to have the child start calling you mom and dad. Which at that age should not be a big thing just start referring to yourselves as mom and dad in the baby's presence. Of course if you wanted you could adopt but still have the baby call you grandma and grandpa really whatever you want.

Also what about the father he would have to consent the adoption as well.

Answer 2

contact an attorney. the birth mother and father need to sever their parental rights. you and your husband will have to have a home study done (appx $500) and have physicals. It's lengthy process, be prepared. Good luck to you. I have been in your shoes.

Answer 3

Find a lawyer and make your daughter pay for it all for making such a mistake and not wanting to own up to her responsibilies.

Answer 4

Ok, dont you think it will be a little weird when you are rasing YOUR daughters baby. She is only 16, she has no choice in the matter. You are still the parent.

Answer 5

it's great that she decided to keep the baby but I woulnd't start any paperwork before the baby was born. she might change her mind and want to raise her own baby. so just talk about the options and the outcomes they have with her so she can know what might happen.

Answer 6

You need an attorney.  Lots and lots of paperwork and legal issues have to be worked out.  Hopefully this can work out well for you.  I hope you all the best, it's a tough road to travel.  Remember, ALL babies are gifts from God, even those born in the worst of circumstances.  Good for you and your family!

Answer 7

Just a thought. Maybe guardianship instead of adoption.  

Answer 8

You need to look to your state's form of Health and Human services. State policies vary so that is a good starting point.

You say that she has refused any other option. After this is cleared I'd put her in her place. You are doing her a favor by being a parent, offering this to her, providing a roof and food. Remind her of that or send her packing.

Answer 9

I'm sorry, but I have to throw my two cents into this. Do you know how confussing that would be to look at what's YOUR child day in and day out, but have to treat him or her as your sibling? Who's to say once the baby is born her motherly instincts might kick in and she'll want to parent her child. But she can't, she'd have to sit in the background and let her parents take over. I couldn't picture it, I would be devastated! If you can afford to raise this child, let her raise her own. There's nothing wrong with her becoming a mother and if willing, you helping her out. I think that would be the best thing to do. What's going to happen when this child grows up and finds out it's mother is it's grandmother, and it's so thought sister...was it's real mom. Talk about crazy!

If she does not want anything to do with the baby and doesn't want to parent, look into having someone else adopt. I think you adopting her child would cause more problems and pain.

Answer 10

I think it would be best if she were to raise the baby herself.  If you are capable of raising the child, you are capable of helping your own daughter raise her own child. You could allow her to continue to live with you, treating her child as your own (since it is your own grandchild I don't see how this is a problem, except the baby would call HER mom, and not you), while your daughter finishes high school and college.  This would give both her and the baby an advantage that many teenage mothers do not have.  

I know your heart is in the right place, but you should try and convince your daughter that is in her best interest to parent the child with your help.

Answer 11

GETTING PREGGO AT A YOUNG AGE MAY BE HARD. I WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING FOR NOW. SHE MAY ADAPT TO THE BABY AND MAY WANT TO KEEP IT AFTER ALL. IN MOST CASES THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS. IF YOU ARE GOING TO HELP HER RAISE THE BABY AND LET HER FINISH SCHOOL THAT IS A GOOD PARENT. I UNDERSTAND IT MAY BE HARD TO TAKE IN THAT SHE IS PREGGO, BUT THINGS HAPPEN IN LIFE AND SHE'LL HAVE TO LIVE AND LEARN. I WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING FOR NOW WAIT UNTIL THE BABY IS BORN AND DON'T TRY TO MAKE THE DECISION FOR HER LET HER MAKE THE DECISION HERSELF.

Answer 12

Why adoption. Its not solving anything in your case but more so adding confusion to the issue.  I would suggest you help her come to terms with the pregnancy and help her raise your grandchild.

Be a guardian and help parent if anything and continue to be a parent to your daughter. She'll come around and accept responsibility, she just needs supportive parents to guide her in that direction.

Answer 13

well first go to the doctor and get an pregancy test to see if it`s offcail

and then they would ask you if you would want adoption or abortion or to have the child(baby) good luck!

Answer 14

just abort it, and that's the end.

Answer 15

I'm not sure if adoption is necessary.  i think she can remain the mother and just ask social services to make you legal guardians as grandparents.  That would allow her to change her mind when she is older if she feels like taking custody.  

Answer 16

I have a friend long long time ago whose sister  got pregnant of wedlock, however unlike yours, shes was old enough to take care of her baby,still her parents adopted the baby . what they did when she gave birth they registered the name of her parents as the parent of the baby, so far now the baby is already a professional and  everything just turned out right with a very doting "auntie" who is now happily married. i hope this would be of help..and please consult a lawyer for a legal advice. Good luck

Answer 17

I would definently wait until after the baby is born.  She may grow attached to this baby and decide that she wants to parent and if you have dished out alot of money then that is money ya'll are out.  After the baby is born the baby should be able to get a state medical card so that shouldn't be an issue.  I had a friend who was in this situation and she decided to keep her baby and it was really tough and confusing time.

After the baby is born and she is sure that she wants to happen then I would find a lawyer and go about it that way so that you all can get gaurdianship.  I think that this is a very responsible desision on her side because at least she is owning up and saying that she doesn't think that she can parent this baby.  I still would wait to see how things go.

Answer 18

She's underaged, and you're still the parent. You're not thinking of how confusing it will be when the child is here with names and relations.

Who is "mom" who is "dad" who is "sister" but really his birthmom.

Will the father be involved (not your husband, but the boy who impregnanted your daughter)?

Answer 19

You are wonderful, loving, and brave parents.  I can't begin to tell you how much I admire you for supporting your daughter to keep your family intact.  You are a blessed family to provide for your new grandchild in such a loving way.  I am a grandma and there is nothing like it in the world.

I advise you to go to a family counselor to help your daughter understand how she feels about becoming a mother.  It sounds like she already has a strong bond with her unborn child that she is trying to preserve.  Regardless of her future legal relationship with her child, she needs to realize that she cannot erase the biological bond that she has with her child by signing papers.  If she has the qualities that would make her a good mother, please encourage the counselor to explore her ability to parent your grandchild with your mentoring.

I would also like to suggest that you, as a family, have a frank talk about how you will all feel 5 years in the future about an adoption.  Youth is temporary.  Your daughter will mature very quickly over the next few years and will likely realize that she could have been a good mother (I have no doubt about that because you sound like a wonderful family!).

Is your daughter open to an arrangement where she legally retains her rights as a mother to her child, but you as grandparents are there to provide her with temporary support and guidance?  You could establish a kinship care or guardian relationship with your grandchild to provide a safety net without breaking the mother-child relationship.  These agreements are usually adequate to get your grandchild on your health-care plan!

I am sure that this is very scary for you and your daughter, but millions of families provide for their grandchildren through kinship care, guardianships, or in-family adoption.  The days when young mothers and their babies are exiled from their families are happily dying their last pathetic breath.

Answer 20

You can take guardain ship to start with.  Call a DCF social worker and they will help.  They are there to help families not just to take kids away.  Either way if you go to court a judge will apoint one to you.  Its just to make sure the well being of the child is seen.   I would also talk to a lawyer as well.