Out of Wedlock babies......?

Question

are they at a disadvantage these days...as long

as they are raised in a loving, healthy envirnment?

Answer 1

Both my children are out of wedlock (I was engaged both times and married the father of my youngest). They are both happy healthy and well adjusted. My older son doesn't even ask about why we weren't married, he just knows that we both love him. If this had been just 20-40 years ago, I shudder to think how we all might have been treated.

L Chow: I completely get what you're saying (it is ideal) but my parents were together for 20 years and it was anything but a loving environment.

Answer 2

no babies are in no way at a disadvantage if the parents are not married as long as they are raised in a loving healthy environment.

Answer 3

I really don't think it matters.  My boyfriend and I are not married, but we are living together and intend to do everything we can to stay together and make a loving home for our son.  I think that is all that really matters.  Even if we don't stay together, we will both love our son and he will spend time with each of us to make sure he has a relationship with both parents.  I don't really see how my son would be at a disadvantage just because his parents do not have the same last name and a certificate saying they are legally married.

Edit: L Chow----out of wedlock does not necessarily mean being raised by a single parent.  It is ideal to have two parents in the home, but I do not think children from two family households are necessarily disadvantaged.  Not all married people create happy homes...I begged my parents to get a divorce when I was younger, and they didn't actually do it until I was 19.  I wish they would have done it much sooner, my life would have been better.

Answer 4

No...

Even those who are born with parents who are married end up in broken homes because the parents split...

aren't children with single parent homes the norm these days?  

Answer 5

Of Course! How about a nice stable family where the child can have BOTH mommy and daddy. How about the child being able to eat dinner with both parents. And being together on Xmas Morning. Daddy showing his son how to change a tire. and daddy showing his daughter how a man should treat her? I'm an Not old school but come on people! You absolutely should have a child in Wedlock! Give your child a Family not just a mommy.

Here's something for all you baby mamas and daddys of the world. Something to be proud of

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1R4rhY3q...

Edit: yeah take sunshine's advice.. Have a baby all on your own so me and my husband can bust our A** at work to take care of our children and yours... Welfare is just wonderful these days

Answer 6

No I don't think so.  As long as it is a loving and healthy environment and their one parent is a good role model they will be just as good as the child next door with both parents.

Answer 7

my son was born out of wedlock... well really i was raped when i was 15 to be honest, but i didnt have an abortion, i gave birth to my son... now i am married and my son is 4yrs old. my husband loves him... as much as i do. and my son is very happy.

Answer 8

I don't think it makes a difference. Where i live more children are born out of wedlock then in wedlock.  

Answer 9

I'm raising a 15 months old and expecting another one in 6 months and I never thought that my kids would be at a disadvantage. Getting married to have a family is not a requirement anymore. More and more people are skipping that step. L Chow, you don't need to be married to provide what you are describing. I see no difference with my life than my married friend's life with their kids... except I don't have the ring : ) I told my spouse right from the beginning that I didn't want to get married. People get married and separated 1 month later. What happened to "For the better or for worse"?? I would rather raised my children in a loving not married family than an unhappy married family.  

Answer 10

No, if anything, their mothers can take advantage of welfare more easily..

Not trying to bash on single moms, but it's easier for single mothers to get welfare benefits.

Answer 11

I had my child out of wedlock with my fiance, then 2 years later we got married. My daughter has always been in a loving environment, so I think it doesn't really matter. With all the different types of family arrangments these days there is no telling what type of situation a child might be in, but as long as the caregivers are loving and responsible then I would not think that the child would have a disadvantage. Personally I do encourage for couples to be married before having children but in my case we where engaged before hand and then I got pregnant (Opps!). We wanted to get married but we didn't have much money for a wedding so we put all our money and thoughts on our baby, then got married. In some ways  I wish we would have gotten married b/c of religious beliefs and for our daughter, but then I am also ok with the way we did it. I also think that a lot of couples are trying to be more careful these days by not getting married first. I guess so they wont have to go through a divorce.