Out of control 6 year old daughter?

Question

I have a 6 year old little girl who's behavior is getting way out of hand. In an unstructured day she does well. But, the second you tell her to do something it is a battle. Our home is very stable. Married 8 years, have a 7 and a half year old boy, our 6 year old daughter, and a 16 month old little boy. The main problems are her tantrums and her stubbornness. When she is told to do her homework she has a melt down and will not do it. Any time I tell her to do something she freaks out like I have just told her to cut her own leg off. Her fits are out of control. She has also started lying uncontrollably and bullying other children including her siblings. Her little brother is starting to mimic her behaviors. Her teacher says she has few friends but is not considered a trouble maker. She does have trouble finishing assignments. She has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder and Oppositional Defiant disorder and is being evaluated for ADHD. Please help.

Answer 1

You cannot control a 6 yr old?I can control ANY 6 yr old who understands English and has the ability to do what I tell them to do.

I'm going to share with you how to  make her do what she is told.

Her behavior is NOT ,I repeat NOT a disease.Next time you tell her to do something and she starts to rebel, you tell her  you're giving her one more chance and if she throws a fit talks back or refuses to do it, you are going to spank her.Then follow through with spanking her until she realizes YOU can AND will MAKE her do what she is told.She won't like it at first, and she may even tell you she hates you BUT that will pass and when she becomes an adult, she will thank you and love you for it.Otherwise your going to be visiting her in jail and keeping her out of trouble when she gets on probation 5 yrs. from now.Your choice.

Answer 2

I do partly agree w/Joe in that her behavior isnt a disease. Its sounds more like lack of discipline especially if your younger child is starting act the same. If she isnt being disciplined then he thinks the behavior is ok. Think about it. You must punish her the first time every time. No warnings, no next times, no bribing period. Spank her if you believe in spanking, put her in timeout, do something that will get her attention. Donate her toys. Also something else to think about, what does she eat? Probably whatever she wants. Change her diet to fresh fruit,veggies, lean protein,whole grains....basically no sugar, no junk food. Right now your 6 yr old is running your house, not you. You need to take control now or you will soon have a housefull of kids all out of control or doped up on meds.

Answer 3

Well, Number 1, if she's been diagnosed with ODD and SPD, you need to do a little research into these diagnosis.  Her behavior is quite normal for a child with these problems. You need to gain some understanding so that you can better deal with her.

Then you need to get with her Counselor that is handling her treatment to work out a discipline plan that will work for HER.  Positive reinforcement generally works very well in situations like these, but you need to understand that her behavior TRULY is not her fault!  She can't help it.  Only with therapy and intervention will this get better.  There unfortunately isn't a magical answer.

EDIT:  To Joe???  Please remind me never to let you ANYWHERE near my children nor ANY of the children that I have ever cared for who have true problems.........What you suggest is almost abuse for a child with the types of problems that she is describing.

Answer 4

What you have is not a "normally" defiant child.  You have a child with medical disorders and you have to get information on how to deal with children with those disorders.  I suggest you discuss the problems with your daughter's doctor because obviously he probably knows more than those on Answers.

Answer 5

My sister has autism and acts the same way sometimes. She is doing better though

Answer 6

My suggestion would be to get her some help. If she doesn't want to go, to bad. She needs it. And since you already have two other children, this would take some problems off of your hands. Most parents will not take their children to get help because

A) Their children are more "Special" than other children in which case that could be some of the PARENTS fault for bringing up the child in that manner.

B) They do not want their children considered "Freaks" just because they have a problem that is mental and can not be helped without a professional.

C) And some are just scared at everything. Scared at what a psychiatrist would do. Scared of what will happen once the help stops.

It may just be a phase. But if it scares you and you are concerned about her, get her some help.