Out of town wedding-who pays for hotel rooms?

Question

Do we have to pay for our family going to our daughter's wedding out of town? My thinking is that if they can't afford it they don't have to come. Some people think we should offer to pay because it's a strain on a couple of relatives. They probably feel obligated to go and are afraid we'll be mad if they don't attend. So what do most people do? Is there a rule?

Answer 1

You don't have to pay. You should pay for grandparents and maybe her siblings but not others.

Answer 2

I went to an out of town wedding and my husband and I were finacially strapped but we knew the wedding was coming and saved for it. The guests pay for their room unless you are paying for everyone.

Maybe you should call these people up and tell them you understand if they can't make it but would love them to be there.

Answer 3

They pay for their own rooms, but you guys are to call different priced hotels and secure (not reserve or you'll be responsible for paying) a certain number of rooms to get the group discount.

Answer 4

No there are no rules anymore when it comes to weddings....you need to decide what is important to you and what you can afford. I have been invited to out of town weddings and paid for my flights and accom myself..never expected anyone to pay the bill. Even if it was a family members wedding...Do what you think is best.

Answer 5

It's always a hassle when relatives have to travel for a wedding. If your family members can't afford a hotel room or the travel expenses it isn't your responsibility to pay for them. Having a wedding out-of-town is already expensive and complicated enough. This wedding is for your daughter and her husband and unless the family members who can't afford the trip are his/her parents (it would be bad form to leave parents out), more distant relatives (like aunts, uncles, cousins) will obviously be missed, but can share in the festivities when the bride returns. To avoid any sort of resentment a good solution is to have a second "wedding reception" once the bride and groom return home. This can be held in a family member's back yard or at a park. Show videos of the wedding and reception and share photos from the wedding and honeymoon. This way your relatives don't feel left out, but you are spared the expense of paying for the travel expenses.

If the issue is that the relatives LIVE out-of-town and can't afford to come visit, you have NO OBLIGATION to them. Send them a video of the ceremony and thank them for their warm wishes.

Answer 6

I don't know if there is a rule, but I have never NOT paid a hotel bill to go to an out of town wedding.  Often, a block of rooms will be reserved at a special rate, but that's as good as it gets.  If they want to come, they will pay and I trust that you will not get bent out of shape if they choose not to.  I guess if there was an extenuating circumstance or if you or your daughter really really want them to be present, you could offer to pay, but I truly think it is not an obligation.  Good luck!

Answer 7

We're not paying for any of ours!  IF you can afford to and would LIKE to offer to pay I'm sure it won't be rejected but you're right--if they can't afford it they don't have to come!  That's how our 250+ guest list is now a confirmed 115....  Oh well!

Answer 8

You are not obligated to pay for their rooms.  If they can't afford it, they shouldn't go.

If you are paying for everybodie's room, that's different.  

I personally have always paid for my own rooms, and didn't think anything about it.  I wouldn't expect anyone to pay my way.  If I couldn't go, I would just send a gift and my best wishes.

Answer 9

the guests pay for their own rooms

Answer 10

You are not responsible for paying for the rooms. If they can't pay, they don't attend. Have fun at the wedding!