Over-bearing maid of honor?

Question

hey guys,

My maid of honor has been my best friend since the 2nd grade! She is a great gal but she's really crossing boundaries! I know she has my best interest at heart but I can't take it anymore!

She is there every little step of the way which sounds great and helpful, but sometimes it can get annoying!

I can't find a good way to tell her she needs to take a few steps back without hurting her feelings!

What to do? PLEASE! :)

Answer 1

Well, the first thing I can think of is nto to tell her what your doing or where you'll be every step of the way.  If your going cake tasting with hubby-to-be then just say your out with hubby and do your thing.  She doesnt need to know every detail of your life.  or if you do tell her and she asks to come then say your time i slimited and you need to be in and out and would prefer to go alone.  You can get out and do what you need to do that way without really hurting her because as you said, she is just tryign ot be helpful, but it can get annoying.

Answer 2

There's no easy way to tell her, but for your own good, for your own peace of mind, sit down with her and tell her, gently and kindly, that this is your wedding and you need for her to help you when you ask for her help. Explain how you feel, not what she is doing to you. Tell her the experience of planning a wedding is stressful for you and you need help but on your terms, and if you ask of her something, whether to help or whether to take a step back, not to take it as though she is not wanted, but to understand that these are your needs now, not hers.

If she can't understand that, then you have to be prepared to deal with it, it's your wedding and should be done on your terms. If she doesn't understand, then she's not being a true friend and is thinking more about what she wants then what you want.

Answer 3

I don't believe there is a way to tell her without hurting her feelings. So don't discuss it with her, I doubt that she would understand without taking it personally anyway.

What you need to do is to just call her and tell her "Today I'm going to pick out my____, I'm going by myself and I'll call you and tell you about it later."

Be firm, but nice. If she persists in being underfoot, tell her you have a few things you need to do alone and you'll share it with her later after the fact. If she takes offense to you needing alone time then that's on her and her responsibility to deal with those feelings. Remember, learn to say no without guilt, be firm, but always be nice!