Overprotective or Underprotective Parents?

Question

Overprotective Pros:

-Children avoids multiple dangers.

Overprotective Cons:

-Children more than likely hates (or at least dislikes) parents during teenage years.

-Children is afraid to adapt to the real world after they turns 18. (Or whenever they move out of the house).

-Probably has less experience socializing with others.

Underprotective Pros:

-Child grows up undoubtedly faster. (Realizing the way the world works and responding to it in their own way) (Also Letting the kids make their own mistakes makes them learn from it on their own).

-Children more than likely socializes better with others.

Underprotective Cons:

-Children have a higher chance of injury and emotional swings.

-Children may grow too carefree.

Personally, I grew with a single mother and was moreover on the underprotective side. I'm seventeen now and trust me life was rough growing. Along with other stupid decisions, I was getting like 70 averages in school. lol.. but then started to realize noone's going to bail me out of situations. Of course I still do stupid things on a greater magnitude, but I think being moreover left alone (as in not being helped through many things) as a child changes your mindset into learning more from your mistakes.

What do you guys think? Which kind of parent is more beneficial? And which kind did you have? And how did you come out?

lol sorry for all the Q's.

Answer 1

Underprotective parents are definitely better. As some people said before, underprotective parents may not necessarily be bad parents.

I have extremely overprotective parents, and for this, I am hating my life right now. I am extremely unhappy, maybe even depressed, and I feel more locked up in a cage than living in a house. I have no freedom. And you're absolutely right; my parents make me angry, and I have a lot of trouble socializing. I don't have many friends, which just makes everything sadder for me.

So I think I will raise my kids differently in the future than how my parents raise me.  

Answer 2

I believe its better to have one of each you know balance it out, but obviously that's not always the case, so I'd rather have an under protective parent.  If I make my own mistakes I'll learn more and grow up stronger.  I have over protective mother, and an underprotective father, so I am lucky, I get to learn but also be somewhat watched over.  Don't get me wrong sometimes I did not get along with either of my parents but most of the time its with my over protective mother that I argue the most with.  I believe I have turned out to be an alright kid, I have good and bad qualities just like everyone else, but I feel that I am alright.  

Answer 3

Parents need to be somewhere in the middle. You can't keep them from every danger out there. Heck, they could trip running down the hallway and knock a picture off the wall and knock themselves out. About 6 months ago my son was running through the kitchen and knocked himself out when I had my cutting board pulled out, but he learned to not run in the kitchen. We won't let him ride his bike or power wheels motorcycle without his helmet or without someone out watching him, but I will let him play outside in the fully-fenced back yard. I can always see him, but let him play on his own. Parents DO need to know where their kids are. Letting them run around at all hours of the night is not good. I work in a grocery store and I can't believe how many young kids that are allowed to wander around town without adult supervision at 1am. I'm talking 12-13 year-olds. There are so many weirdos out there that prey on kids that age. I would NEVER allow my son to be out after 10 pm unless he was with me, my husband or another trusted adult.

Answer 4

well, it is possible to have both. I had overprotective parents who wouldn't let me go to even one party and wouldn't let me hang out with friends...nothing like that but they also were underprotective in the way they didn't really care as I was the oldest and had to take on parental responsibilities for my younger siblings and they never cared about what I was going through. I was beaten for forgetting to do stuff like clean the crumbs off the toaster. I left home at 18 because I couldn't take the stress of them fighting and the constant abuse. so now that I'm 33 years old, they didn't teach me a thing about life. I had to drop out of college to work and support myself. I got pregnant when I was 21 and have had 2 bad marriages and it took 2 bad marriages, 2 kids and being a single parent and going to college on my own to finally find a good husband and have a stable home life. you can have parents that care too much and too little at the same time. I personally used to be so overprotective of my kids that I wouldn't so much as let them bike to the park by themselves but I realized that if I don't let them do things, how will they ever gain any life exprience? I've had to loosen up and it's been difficult, but that's a part of kids getting older. I've realized they can't be babies forever.

Answer 5

whats wrong with a happy medieum? why extremes of over and under?

Answer 6

my parents are a mix of both

Answer 7

Overprotective parent is my sister in law. I mean, you have described her to a "T". For any parent, there should always be a balance between being over protective and under protective. I tend to let my children figure out their battles between them themselves. But when it comes to letting them go and do things without me, I am a worry wart to an extent. Example, my 8-year-old is attending her first sleep over soon and I am nervous about it. I barely know the parents, but at the same time, I know that I will not know all of their friends parents. She is taking her older sisters cell phone with her and has strict instructions on how to behave and what to do if she gets scared. I trust her.

Me, I grew up with a single dad who ended up marrying my babysitter. My grandparents helped a lot. I dont think my dad was overprotective or underprotective, I think he was just there. He cared what we did, but at the same time, well, lets just say that to this day, I still feel like I got delt a bad hand in many situations and I am 30 years old, the middle of 4 to one marriage and 6 from both his marriages. My family is truely twisted. Absent mother, emotionally distant father, a sister who thinks she raised me and is only 19 months older than me. I really need to write a book.  

Answer 8

As always, the answer is in the middle. Parents should take an enthusiastic interest in their children. They have absolutely no business planning the kid's life.

Answer 9

You miss a few pros and cons:

Overprotective pros:

-Children grow up free from addictions that can limit their future freedoms

-Children don't have children but have a chance to grow up.

-Children have more freedom from having had to study, practice, and basically meet the expectations of their parents.

-Children may have less experience socializing in some crowds, but should have plenty of experience socializing in other crowds.  

-Children should be able to be free to go do whatever they want since really serious dating would have been protected against.

Underprotective cons:

-Children grow up faster, losing their childhood and having many of their freedoms shut down on them before they're even adults through addictions, becoming pregnant, or having extremely serious relationships before they were adults.

-Children may seek out someone else to give them rules, leaving them open for brainwashing, abusive partners, or obsessive addictions.

-Children may seek out someone to take the responsibility, coupling up at too early of an age, becoming pregnant or married before they are ready.

-Children may think they can handle the world and so run away or take unnecessary risks, believing that they have a good handle on the world.

Just to point out a few.  Personally?  The best is an overprotective parent who encourages self-reliance and growing up.  Basically, you train your dog to listen to you in a fenced in yard, then as you know you can trust them you take the fence away, and as you know you can trust them more, you give them more and more freedom while always keeping an eye on them.  It's the same with children.  That's basically how my parents raised me.  My sister started causing trouble and they enforced stricter rules.  She may have hated them for it, but she graduated school and wasn't pregnant when she did it and wasn't addicted to drugs, so I'd call that a success.  Meanwhile, with me, who didn't cause much problems... I had extreme freedoms and never had issues with them.  

It really depends on the kids, but I think the cons of underprotective/lax is far worse than those of protective.

Answer 10

my parents were REALLY OVERprotective...I'm 13 now...but my parents doesn't even let me go out on my own EVEN IN MY OWN COMPOUND!...i have ok grades...but i just wish that my parents were alittle less protective

Answer 11

the best thing is moderation  

Answer 12

overprotective is better. Now im in college with no kids!!  

Answer 13

I had underprotective parents and I think that they are better. I am far more mature than my peers and the only one of my friends that lives alone. My parents support me but trust me to take care of myself, even when I was too young to do so. Now that I am older, they are much better parents, since I actually live up to what they expect.

Answer 14

Stay in the middle.

Answer 15

I absolutely dislike overprotective parents. I think that kids with underprotective parents have a chance to take a shot at the real world and go with the flow. They have more of a chance to learn from their mistakes, and learn it the way that really does influence them, because they won't do it again if it hurts them. It's a self learning journey, and your parents can't always be there to protect you.

I have A HIGHLY OVERPROTECTIVE MOM. She decides my every action, and if I don't go with it, she's planning to "kick me out", but I guess that means that she'll just make it even more hard on me. When I'm a legal adult, I'll be even more glad. Childhood is really just taking the life out of me...

That's the attitude an overprotective mom/dad gives a child.

Answer 16

     My dad was over protective, at the age of 18 I wasn't allowed alone with boys and my mother is a bit under protective. My dad was too over protective, wasn't allowed out past 9 for example. Again at the age of 18. It got to the point where he caught me rebelling and in the end kicked me out of my house. I live with my mom now, pretty much allowed to do what I want. She tells me what she thinks is right and wrong and leaves it up to me to decide what I want to do. I think though because I had a parent with both different strategies I am at a happy medium where I do what I want but I know what is right and wrong, if you understand.  

Answer 17

i think that underprotective parents are probably the best out of the two, because at least then they get to learn from their mistakes at a young age and they grow up faster.

Answer 18

Im only 13, but my mom is extremly overprotective, i mean i hate it, but at the same time i think its greatt. i knoww its for my own good, && that she does it causee she lovees mee. im glad she does it, though i would liike her to be, in between from overprotective && underprotective. lollz.

Answer 19

i think underprotective is better.  children with overprotective parents don't get to live and are often depressed.  however, it is possible for kids with underprotective parents to abuse drugs at a young age.  i know kids like that.  i was raised somewhere in the middle and i turned out alright.  i think the best is in the middle.  i guess thats kind of obvious though. lol.

Answer 20

Um. No not really. I have a friend named Vanessa she's 13. Her parents are way overprotective. They never let her do anything 'fun'. She can't have cable in her room because her mom is afraid that she'll watch bad shows like family guy or MTV. She is a big rebel. She wears S****y clothing, goes behind her parent's backs and dates, got drunk and had s*x. She has to go to bed at 8:30. My friend Abi, she's 14. Her parents aren't overprotective. Kind of underprotective. Her parents let her do a lot. She doesn't date(her parents LET her date though), she doesn't say bad words[all the time](took her a year after meeting me to say stupid), stays home most of the time(When she's not with me, or out with her mom. She NEVER goes out with people besides me and her friend Tara), doesn't drink(her mom let her have a sip of her beer once and she hated it. She can't stand the smell of beer) and is still a virgin. She has no bed time, but still goes to bed at 11 or 12 on school nights.  No offense, but your statistics are kind of wrong.

EDIT: My parents were never overprotective or underprotective. I'm 13 now and they still aren't strict. They let me do a lot of things, but there are a lot of things that they don't let me do. Like dating(yet) or myspace. But they do let me go on the computer whenever I want. I'm never really at home and they don't really mind.

Answer 21

I had overprotective parents and I am going to an Honors College and I get straight A's. I had NO problem socializing but I socialized with people who shared my values and hobbies. I'm not a geek or a hermit at all. I have drank alcohol and done other things like that but I'm very responsible about it.

I think somewhere in the middle or towards the overprotective side. It also depends on the kid.

Answer 22

i disagree that kids who have overprotective parents don't socialize as well. my parents are extremely overprotective and i think it allows me to socialize BETTER. just because they're overprotective doesn't mean we don't see the real world for what it is. we do, and i think we see it better because our parent's are overprotective. we also can make right choices better when it comes to people. that's where the socializing thing comes from. we socialize better because we know who we should and shouldn't be socializing with. and i can't wait to get out of this h**l whole because even though i'm over protected, i realize how to take care of myself and that they're overdoing it.

however, yes i hate my parents, you were right on that one haha. but they have taught me well. they're just stupid about some things.

Answer 23

i have parents that are both my mom is pretty un protective i have a step mom that is overprotective and a real dad that is in between i think in between is most benificial because you have freedoms to learn from things and understanding how the world works but has limits so you dont get into to much trouble or dont do sumthing that is a mistake or sumthing damaging to your future.

Answer 24

How about having Narcissistic parents? Did you read anything about that? :)

It was no fun growing up. I am in the process of unraveling my life right now. There are so many things I wish I knew then. I am a parent of two little kids myself. I believe in treating children as people – without putting them down, giving them a chance to speak and respecting their input.

Answer 25

I also grew up with a single mother & she's always working 24/7. With no one here to teach & discipline me, I attracted a lot of trouble!! Going through difficulties has definitely matured me, though. From time to time, I would think about how my life would've been like if I grew up with a 'conventional' family. Like, would I have been the class president at school & the prom queen like my cousins instead of being the problem child LOL. Anyway, rough pasts makes one h**l of an interesting life story, but if I were to choose a type of parent when I have kids, I'd pick overprotective because it's mentally better and more benefitting for the child, I guess LOL