Overwhelmed and i dunno what to do anymore?

Question

my life is falling apart around me. i dunno who i am anymore. dealing with repressed memories, a death in the family, an emotionally abusive bf that doesn't know that hes doing it, home sickness, financial problems galore, and school stuff piling up. I'm cracking. help please. i cant stop crying.

Answer 1

go and see an acupuncturist and dietician and chinese doctor.

Answer 2

First things first, please, please take a breath, try to calm down.  I really don't want you upsetting yourself more or hurting yourself.  Believe me when I say you're not the only person who's gone through this, and it can get better.

First thing's first, because your (boyfriend?  best friend?)  should be a source of support rather than further upset during a time like this, you need to address him ASAP.  Because of how stressful things are for you, I can understand if you'd be afraid of upsetting him or making things worse, but you really need to work this out so you and your relationship don't self destruct.  Because your guy seems oblivious, he obviously needs to be clued in.  

Does HE know all the issues you have going right now?  He might not mean to hurt you, but some people are just naturally selfish.  The next time he says or does something that hurts you, stop and say very calmly, "Why would you do/say something like that?  I would never do/say anything like that to you."  Don't yell, don't get upset;  if he doesn't know he's doing it, he might be just as distressed to find out how unhappy he's made you.  By asking him to stop and think over whatever it is he's just done that you consider emotional abuse and tell you why, you're telling him that it does bother you and you wish it would stop.  Don't give up hope;  by nature, most guys (no offense) tend to be a little oblivious to how the things they say or do could upset someone.  Even my husband, who can be a smart-butt, is often mortified to find out he's upset or embarrassed someone.  Give your guy a chance, but stand your ground.

I think you'll find if you work out your relationship issues, your homesickness will fade away too.  Because you're so unhappy and dissatisfied with everything right now, having no real source of comfort is of course going to make you long for home.  Sort out things with your guy first, and the other should follow.  As long as you have loving support, the future always looks brighter.

A death in the family is always sad, and you have my sympathies for having to go through with it, but you have to realise that it's in the past now.  Take this time to reconnect with your family through e-mail, phone calls, or letters and talk about your loved one, or just touch base.  Realising the people you still have around you will make a world of difference.  I've always said that when I die, I want my family to throw a big party and remember all the good times, and I'm sure your family member wouldn't want you so sad.

As far as money and school goes, depending on how old you are and where you are with your education, things are going to be sticky.  In any event, I suggest going to your school's administration office or the councellor if you don't feel comfortable with that and explain your situation.  Don't get hysterical or dramatic, but tell them what's happening in your family and with your finances so they know what's going on if your work has been suffering.  Most teachers worth their salt should be more than willing to grant you a little leniency with all you've been going through, so don't be afraid to go to them for assistance.  You owe it to yourself.

Because I don't know your financial situation, I can't offer more specific advice other than the most general sort (and since I'm not a professional I wouldn't want to sound like I know more than I do anyway).  If you're having issues with money as far as food, clothes, and bills go, you might want to run a search for "budget boards", which are websites full of information on how to save or make money in surprising areas.  Tightening your belt a little and getting a little insight on where to look for some help may make a difference.

I wish I could help you more because you seem like a sweet guy.  Please remember that even though things feel out of control, you are in control of your life and you have to TAKE control of it before it can get any better.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

If you have a best friend, talk to him/her about your situation. If you can, take a break and go home for a few days. A home environment, where you feel safe and secure, can do wonders.

Answer 4

Ok first you have to think about yourself here. You need some time and some help pulling yourself together and some major changes will have to happen in your life if you want things to be better.

Now I know you love your boyfriend, but in order to stay together he needs to know how he is treating you emotionally and stop it or you will need to leave. No one deserves that or needs that in their life regardless of whatever else might be going on. So you will need to make some choices there- give him up or make him aware of it and hope he changes. If not you need to have the courage to leave that relationship in order to feel better in the long run.

Repressed memories, stress, homesickness, death are all best talked out with a therapist or someone to get all those feelings out on the table and to learn how to deal with them one at a time.

Can you go back to your family or have someone that you can stay with and get some time, rest, and care until you can work thru these issues and get back on your feet?

Sounds like you need to take a break from everything. If there was someone to help you.

If not you will have to find a way to get thru all of this. We all go thru things in life and sometimes they all hit at once.

I can say I have gone thru it all and I have came out alright. I have God in my life and that I believe is all the difference.  

Answer 5

Drop the boyfriend - start there.  Call home and get your family to come visit or send you the money to come to them.  Start taking care of the school stuff one by one until you've eliminated the pile.  Talk with a friend or family member about the death in the family.  Now, the most important question.  Do you know Jesus?  Jesus says to cast all of our burdens (troubles) on Him and trust Him to help you get through them.  Christ is the very best help that I can give you.  I'm 63 years old and I would never have made it without the Lord.

You are having an anxiety attack and you are feeling rejected. Christ promises never to leave us or forsake us.  We can always trust Him to see us through these tough times.

Get on your knees and start saying "Praise Your Holy Name Jesus"

"Praise the Lord."  Worshiping and praising the Lord always works.