Ovulation and conception advice needed!!!!

Question

Me and my husband are trying for a baby - I am 25 and this will be our first.

Firstly, I know a women's cycle is supposed to be 28 days, so I counted my cycle and we had s*x around the time of ovulation. Needless to say it didnt work, but this time my period was five days late!! Do I count 14 days from the first day of my late period or the first day of when my period should have been?

Also, I would appreciate any tips on on how to conceive! I am worried we aren't going to be successful as, despite not standing up after s*x, it tends to, um, get all over the sheets! Will this reduce our chances of conceiving?

Answer 1

Hey there s**t face.

The last time i checked my cycle, the chain was broken and it needed oiling. i suggest maybe buying some oil and oiling yourself before you even try to do each other. by golly gosh *** sheets. they must a nice surprise for the horny maid. how abouts if his tiddly wink stays in your hole when he eject-***-lates then it WONT go on the sheets.

Have you tried puppy style? me and my husband bob did puppy style. we tried doggy styly and that didnt help, so we did puppy style.

puppy style is when you both smell each others a**s's and then bark like puppies, then he jumps on your back and gives you a crspy wan-ton.

YOU DIRTY b******s. WHY WOULD YOU BE ON A BYCYCLE FOR 28 DAYS AND HAVE s*x?!?!?! EWWWWWWWWW. That poor kid has r****d parents, everyone knows you should  only be on taht bike for 25 days then you get off. haha get it? you GET OFF i crack myself up. talk about crack, remember to lube up and oil up. chains get rustyyyyyyyyyy yyyayayayayayayayaaaaa

Answer 2

You might want to try charting your BBT, basal body temperature, which will tell you exactly when you're ovulating. Another suggestion you'll get is to have s*x every other day which means the sperm won't miss the egg and it won't deplete your hubby's sperm count. And don't worry about the mess on the sheets, it happens every time and plenty of sperm stay in your v****a. If you don't want so much to come out then try elevating your hips for about 15 minutes. Another suggestion is enjoy some "special" cuddle time after your husband ejaculates and don't have him pull out for a couple minutes then elevate your hips. Much less comes out, sorry if it's TMI.

Answer 3

Hi, i have had 3 children  (and been pregnant but lost some) using the below method. i fell straight away, first time, so good luck

its not a good idea to rely on the 28 day method, becuse it wont work if your periods are variable in length.

first start watching you cycle and if it is 28 days on regular basis, then you need to be having s*x 14 days BEFORE your next period is due. not 14 days after a period. so if your cycle is say 32 days, then start having s*x on day 16 after your period has STARTED not ended, with day 18 being about when you would conceive.

after s*x, raise your bum on a pillow for 20-30 mins to give the sperm a good chance of reaching its destination (waste not want not).