PLEASE GIVE ADVICE PARENTS, ADULT SIBLINGS ECT, how do i stop my older sister from making the biggest mistake

Question

Ok shes older than me and my other sis and if this wouldnt make such a devistating impact on her life id leave her learn it the hardway but she has a child involved too. Ok we just lost our parents and are sole heirs, she will be getting enough $$ to start her life over instead however he full of c**p bf all the sudden wants to marry her (this is see threw he hits on her own baby sisters for heavens sakes) anyways we all know its a scam to get her $$, not only that but she plans on leaving everything behind here in a big city and moving to a farm in another province (like a state)....here's the kicker ...to work on a farm chasing chickens cause he convinced her its a good job....I dont know what to say or how to say it its evident they marry move there he will leave her and forbid her from taking her kid out of the province and shell be out in the cold...he did this to wifey #1...so its not a some crazy thing im thinking.....but me and my other sister plan on putting all our money into school and going into a medical field since we have the chance of a lifetime to make good use of the $$$ (its not that much but enough to help make a change in our life) .....im scared shell be out in the cold no job, no home, no husband kid or money and then us 2 wont be able to help her because why should we throw away our future for someone already over 30 (shes 32 we are 23/25). We will barely be making ends meet while in school the $ will just cover bare necessities and will need to be parially substidized and put on loans....its not to be cruel but we wouldnt be able to do anything if she did that......while reguardless if shes here she would at least get some help if she ever needed food/a roof ect

Answer 1

First things first; Sadly enough she is going to make her mind up on what she feels in her heart is right. You will not be able to change that, but what you can do is give her the best setup under this situation as possible. If he is truly after the money then tell her to get him to sign a prenup. The truth is if he loves her and not the money he will do this. The second thing to do is get her to have a plan in place for if it does not work out their. I know in Canada, that if she leaves with the child even with nothing for example while he is at work then he can not force her to go back to the province in which she left. When she gets to back she could file for sole custody. Neither parent has more custody over the other parent. It is the first to move with the child and limit the access which unfortunately shows that he has not been there for the child even if it was by her own actions. The courts will say it is too traumatic for the child to be removed from the mothers care. So if there is a problem she could equally loose the child by him doing the same thing. I do not understand why you could not go to school if she moved away. Are you expecting her to contribute with her money to your future?  Good luck to all of you and your future choices.  

Answer 2

This is not the feel good answer you're probably looking for...but here goes.

Your sister is an adult. She's stupid, impulsive, irresponsible, and a twit...but she's an adult.

You can tell her that you don't support what she's doing, but you can't stop her from doing it. So don't sweat it.

As far as the $$ and BF is concerned...you can change a few things financially. For instance, the money could go into a trust rather that to you girls in lump sums. The trust would then pay you an income every year. The trust could even be invested and make additional income. A financial consultant could advise you for investing. Any lawyer can make a trust.

This would keep the money from all getting spent right away. The BF would have to be very patient if he wanted to get his hands on that cash. Of course, your silly sister would probably never agree.

But its a thought.

P.S. Make sure your sister gets a....the name of it escapes me...basically it's a legal document that keeps assets separated during a marriage. That way the BF can't marry her, divorce her,  and take half.

Answer 3

have her get a pre-nup  

Answer 4

IF U REALLY WANT TO STOP HER GET ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS TO LET HIM HIT ON THEM (PLAN IT) THEN TRY TO GET UR SIS TO CATCH IT. AND SAY HE'S A DIRTY MF U CAN'T MARRY HIM HE CANT EVEN CONTROL HIMSELF AROUND MY FRIENDS IMAGINE HOW HE IS OUTSIDE  

Answer 5

idk how you are gunna stop her BUT STOP HER AS SOON AS YOU CAN, uuhhhh bring her to the light, so to speak.  

Answer 6

Tell your sister to get a prenuptual agreement to safe guard her money.  If he's not interested in it, then he won't have a problem signing it.  After that, my advice is to butt out.  Let your sister learn the hard way, and be there to send her and her child a bus ticket home when he dumps her.  He can't keep the child there if she wants to leave.  If she's smart, in addition to the prenup, she'll put her money in a private bank account to which he does not get a card or access.

Answer 7

I hate to say it but maybe she should lie and say that she lost the money or that she can't get it and then see what he says. And does you sis know he did this to his first wife??? Let your sister read the message you wrote and see what she says, hopefully she'll listen!!Good Luck on your sister and on your medical career!!!!!

Answer 8

if the pre-nup doesn't work maybe you can like ( i know this sound all hollywood but) hide a camera and get him to hit on one of you and then show her i no it doesn't sound like a guiness idea and all but hey this is her entire life were talking about here and it's worth a shot!

Answer 9

I see your point being a sibling to two other great sisters.

I know you'll not like my words but tell her what you think as it is. That's why you're her sisters, to be her eyes when she can't. I don't think she'll listen though, but don't tell her you'll close your door on her when she won't listen.

In the end it's a mistake she has to make, if she will. Who knows, against all odds that this guy turns out good to her.

The truth is, if your sister thinks she's in loved and loved too, it's hard to even have her consider your words.

Good luck.