PLEASE HELP I NEED YOUR ADVICE

Question

I'm 16 and 10 days ago i had unprotected s*x, i was drinking on the night but i can remember everything exept for about an hour of it. Now i keep having flashbacks of a person ontop of me but i hav no recolection of who it was. Because of this im almost positive my drink was spiked. I woke up feeling strange , but later on that day i got my period which lasted around 5 days. It came a few days early but it normally does , and i wasnt worried because i couldnt remember what happend the night before so i assumed everything was ok. But recently i have been getting alot of symtoms of early pregnancy like back aches, cramps, and nausea. I took 3 home pregnancy tests , one of which said pregnant and the other two said not pregnant. please tell me what you think?? i need to find out for sure because i live in a country where abortion is illegal and to get an abortion i would need to travel abroad and i want to do it as fast as i can, i will NOT be able to handle a child. I really dont know what to do and i am absaloutly terrified ...pleaaase help???? XX

Answer 1

firstly try not to get too stressed out as this can delay your period from comming, go to a family planning clinic and find out 4 sure if u are or not then u can start to make decisions. My heart goes out to you it really does. But remember whatever the outcome is its completely your decision xxxx

Answer 2

Number 1, tell your parents.

Number 2, go to a doctor and have a check up. sometimes the home tests can be wrong.

Number 3, with both your parents and the doctor, discuss (discuss means you need to put input into the conversation, don't get bossed around) what your possible options are and then choose what you want to do.

Number 4, learn from the past.

hope it all works out

Answer 3

Like the first person said if you have had a positive test that is what it means, don't worry I had a baby when I was 16 and it's not so bad! I'm doing so much better than other people my age, my daughter gave me something to live for and if it wasnt for her i'd probably be a druggo or something! My daughter is 9 now and because we don't have a huge age gap we are into the same music and even fashion lol, it's a gift, these things happen for a reason, all the best, I hope you keep your baby :)

Answer 4

I'm so sorry to hear about this.  I know you are very scared right now, but everything will be okay.  Thousands of teenage girls have gone through what you're going through right now.  It's difficult, and it's scary, but you will be able to get through it.

As far as the pregnancy tests go, if even one of the pregnancy tests said you're pregnant, then there's more than a 99% chance that you're pregnant.  While false negatives are very common, it is very, very rare to get a false positive... false positives are usually only caused by recent miscarriages or certain fertility medications.  Pregnancy tests work by detecting a pregnancy hormone in your urine.  There has to be a certain concentration of pregnancy hormone in your urine in order for the test to detect it.  During very early pregnancy, the concentrations of the hormone are low, so a test might read "negative" even if you're pregnant, especially if your urine is fairly diluted because you'd been drinking lots of fluids.  I'm guessing that you got the positive result when your urine was more concentrated... maybe you hadn't had as much water that time or maybe you tested earlier in the morning when it had been a while since you had last urinated.  If you would like to take another test, just to make sure, it is recommended that you test right after you wake up in the morning (the first time you urinate that day).

It's not uncommon to still have what seems like a period even when you're pregnant.  Many women experience something known as "implantation bleeding" -- when the fertilized egg implants in their uterus, they experience some bleeding, which can range from light spotting to what seems almost like a normal period.  That may have been what happened to you.  I've even known some women that continued to get what seemed like normal periods for several months into their pregnancies.

The first thing you need to do is talk to your parents.  Sit them both down and tell them you have something important you need to talk to them about.  They may be angry or sad at first; they may even yell or cry.  Try to stay as calm as possible, though.  After their initial reactions have passed, they will want to help you and they will be supportive of you.  If you are extremely afraid to talk with them, you may want to ask a friend to come with you.  You may also consider speaking to another adult first... do you have an aunt, a female teacher, or a school counselor you might be able to tell?  Knowing you have another adult already on your side might make it easier to talk with your parents.

The next thing you need to do is see a doctor so you can confirm the pregnancy with 100% certainty.  If you decide there's even the slightest chance you might want to carry the baby to term, you should start prenatal care.  Your doctor will be able to prescribe vitamin supplements for you.  You especially need to be taking one with folic acid.  Be sure to start this as soon as possible, as a folic acid deficiency can lead to serious health problems with the baby.  You should also discuss STD testing with your doctor.  I know the thought if it is very scary (I've been through it after experiencing a situation similar to yours), but most STD's are fully treatable if caught early enough.

The next thing you should do is try to figure out who it was you had s*x with.  If someone spiked your drink in order to have s*x with you, then that is definitely considered rape.  Even if your drink was not spiked, if you had enough alcohol that you were not conscious of what was going on or were not able to knowingly consent to s*x, then that counts as rape as well, at least in the U.S.  Is there an age of legal consent in your country?  If the man was significantly older than you, it's possible that him having s*x with you could count as statutory rape even if you had consented.  Who did you go to the party with?  Do you have any friends who might remember what happened to you?  Are there any people you remember being there that you could ask about that night?  If you are able to find out who raped you, you may wish to consider filing a police report.  It can be difficult to convict someone of date rape, especially if it is just your word against his as to whether or not the s*x was consensual, but you may have friends from the party who can attest to your inability to consent.  Many rape victims choose to file police reports and many do not -- the choice is entirely up to you.  You may want to consider talking to a counselor about the situation, though, especially if you are feeling upset by the flashbacks or if the flashbacks don't go away.

Finally, if the doctor has confirmed you are pregnant, you need to make a decision about what to do with the baby.  I personally would encourage you not to have an abortion.  I think that, no matter how the baby was conceived, it is already a human life.  One of my best friends had an abortion when she was a teenager and she is still very upset about that decision to this day.  Becoming a mother at 16 or 17 is definitely hard, and if I know you would not be able to handle a child right now, you may want to consider putting the child up for adoption.  There are lots of couples unable to have their own children who would love to adopt an infant.  Many adoption agencies will let you choose the family your child will go to.  Some allow open adoptions where you will be able to visit your child and be part of the child's life if you desire.

I know what I've written is very long, but I hope it helps you.  You can email me if you have any more questions and I'll do my best to answer them.  I wish you the best, whatever you decide to do.

Answer 5

You have a bit of time.  Go to this site:  http://www.projectcuddle.org/default.asp  for assistance and advice.

  What help do you need with your self-image?

Answer 6

If you got a test that said Positive, then you are pregnant. The tests can only say positive if you have the pregnancy hormone in your body. It will cost a lot of money to travel abroad for abortion. Why not put it up for adoption?

Answer 7

You really need to go to a doctor to find out if you are pregnant or not.  Pregnancy tests can give false positives if they are faulty. The fact that you got two negatives and one positive, you really need to get clarification from a doctor. Your pregnancy symptoms may also be paranoia so i really thing you need to find out for sure asap. As for the abortion part of it, it is your body and your decision. If you can't raise a baby and adoption is off the table, don't let anyone put you down.>> YOUR BODY, YOUR DECISION.

Answer 8

Well it sounds to me like your pregnant since you had one positive test, try taking a couple more and see what they say, if their still negative then you need to go to the doc and make sure your even pregnant before you freak out. And if abortion is illegal in your country then you should know how bad it is... dont kill your baby, put it up for adoption... or maybe dont drink when your 16 years old? I would consider other options before I jump to have an abortion.