PLEASE HELP!!!! I think about my son that doesn't exist?

Question

To start, I have been depressed for two years. I am usually happy, but I do have bad/sad days every week or so. I also hide my depression from people and keep it inside so nobody knows how bad I feel.

My questions are:

1) Why do I think about the children I want to have (a son and a daughter)?

2) Why do I look at kids running around (anywhere that I am), and the thought pops into my head about having my own kids?

3) Why do I imagine/hear their voices in my mind, and almost picture what they will look like?

Is it because of the depression? I am really caring and loving, and really sensitive and emotional...is this why?

Please Help Me...Thanks.

Answer 1

Men can have as strong paternal instincts as women have maternal instincts.

Although you should see a therpaist or doctor about depression to be sure it's not something underlying to where you would need a Rx, it sounds more to me like you have come to a point in your life where you're not happy with where you're at. You feel like you don't have what you always wanted to have or what everyone around you has. Especially if you have friends that have started their own families, this is hard. I know that for a fact. Pretty much all of my friends have been married and have had a baby or two within the last five years and I have been the same way you say you are.

I hear voices, imagine faces and little bodies I will probably never feel against me. My dreams are filled with them too. I also watch children wherever I go and look at their parents (including my own sister) in disbelief at the things they yell at them and wonder why they got so blessed and why I may not.

You're not crazy for imagining all of this or for wanting it either, even as a single man.

Do you have nieces or nephews close by or even children of good friends that you can offer to babysit or hang out with? If it won't make you even more sad, you should. You can be the coolest uncle ever and get some major brownie points with a potential wife!

Answer 2

men have a biological clock as well...and it sounds like yours is ticking.

You should talk to someone about how you feel...see a therapist.

Answer 3

It may have something to do with depression and hormones. I was diagnosed with depression a little over a year ago and am taking medicine to help. However, sometimes I can't help but think about the things I want in life. I imagine holding my children and playing with them. This usually happens right around my period. I call it my "nesting phase." I think it has something to do with hormones, which of course coincides with depression. If it really bothers you, try seeing a therapist or something

Answer 4

I think with questions like this you really need a professionals help. To me, it sounds like you just really want a baby. You really need to speak with a Doctor who is qualified for this kind of stuff.  

Answer 5

First off, you should see a therapist about the depression.  Keeping it inside doesn't make it go away.  I would think that you keep thinking about a child because you want a baby.  There is nothing wrong with fantasizing.  However, you can't take care of someone else (dont' have a baby) until you are healthy enough to take care of yourself.  So go see a doctor who can help you through your depression, and then when you are well, have that baby you keep thinking about!  

Answer 6

Aww, that's so sad.

In my opinion, maybe you are having these feelings due to a lacking relationship in your life. Whether that is a relationship with the opposite s*x or a missed relationship with your own father- it seems like something is missing in your life, and I think it is some kind of longing for a relationship that you want but do not have.

Let me be more clear: If you are searching for love in your life but have not found the right person yet, you may be feeling desparate about not finding someone to build a family with.

If you didn't have a father figure when you were growing up, you may be missing out on the times that you could have had..kind of the "what if" things.

Either way, I would say it is caused by some kind of depression. I don't know your age or circumstance, but there are always people you can talk to and ways that you can become a single father if you are sure that is what you want in your life.

Good Luck finding whatever it is you're looking for. May God bless your search.

Answer 7

For the depression you should really talk to a doctor about it so they can prescribe you something that will help you feel better. And as for the thinking about children thing, maybe its because you really want kids really bad.