PLEASE HELP ME!!!...?

Question

Well, basically (just to shorten it all) i've been insecure and ansioux like all my life nearly and i have had OCD like all my life, and recently it has got so much worse because a lot of things have happened. One of them is that a few months ago i fell out with my bestest ever friend and we didn't talk for like months until the other week i decided to meet up with her and talk, we acted like normal straight away and soon were friends again, recently though i have felt so depressed(ive been like it for 3/4yrs now, but it is the worse ever) i've started to slit my wrists again and i cry every single day and i keep thinking of ways to kill myself, 2 days ago i was with the friend ^^, and she told me how i'm really insecure which i knew i was but not that much and she has got this new boyfriend and she said how she would rather be my friend than have him but yesterday she went to bike down to this village where he lives (and asked me before hand if i want to come so i said yes and i was a few minutes late as she told me to take my time getting ready so i did, and then i got to this road bit wich was near her house and she phoned me and had a huge go at me sayin how she "can't always hold my hand all the time" and stuff and saying how she has tears on her face :S and so i got really angry and upset because i was so confused with everything because yesterday she was being so nice saying how she is here for me and now she's not :( so when i was angry with her i sent her a text saying how "she has lost a friend" and she didnt care at all which made me sad, and then i told her i wanted to kill myself but she didnt care, i got home and tried to over-dose because i hated going through all this **** and she just made it so much worse. I've come to realise i shouldn't be friends with her any longer as she is extremely controlling and has turned horrid and has even posted bullitens on myspace calling me a "t**t-face" and stuff :S and she told my other friends that she can't cope anymore with my "depression" - she thinks im messed up in the head forgodsake! I really bloody need her at the moment but she'd much rather be with this guy than dealing with me - which i guess is fair enough. But hmm. I am thinking of seeing a doctor soon and asking for anti-depressents or anything to help me, i really need help, i can't stand feeling like this, has anyone ever been in the same situation before or have any advice???

Thanks.

Answer 1

You really need to seek help right away. Is your parents aware of your cutting yourself. Some people have a harder time coping with life's problem but you can be helped. Seek the help and then do what ever you have to such as therapy or medication. Although it is hard to be a friend with someone who is so depressed I think you are better off with out this person as your friend because she is not a true friend.

Answer 2

Ask yourself: "Why do I feel depressed, and when did I first start to feel this way: can I associate this with any recent change in my life?" (if so, it is probably situational depression: counselling, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is indicated). Or, was it a more gradual thing, with no apparent cause? (nutritional deficiencies, hypothyroidism, environmental toxicity, or reactions to some medications, etc., becomes more likely as the cause).

Antidepressants work quicker than the following; 2 - 6 weeks, but you may have to adjust dosage, or types, whereas St. John's wort is effective for most people, tolerance doesn't develop, and the few side effects don't occur often, and even then are normally not severe.

It doesn't cause sleeping problems, or weight change, but usually takes at least 2, and generally 4 - 6 weeks to become effective. A recent, independent German double blind study showed it to be as effective as Sertraline (marketed in the USA as Zoloft: a commonly prescribed antidepressant) in cases of major depression, with far fewer side effects, and those were generally better tolerated, with a lower rate of discontinuation. Unlike antidepressants, where sexual dysfunction is a common side effect, it happens much more rarely with St. John's wort (I have noticed no effect in this area).

Remember back to a time when life was full of promise, or a day when you felt particularly good, or possibly excited from a good result. Emotional states are associated with memories, and if it isn't major depression, this method can help.

A multidimensional approach to treating depression without medication follows. All except for no. (7.) are safe to use with medication, but not St. John's wort, because of interactions, and it's sensible to check out anything else first with your doctor.

(1.) Take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily: (certified free of mercury) it is best if consumed with an antioxidant, such as an orange, or grapefruit, or their FRESHLY SQUEEZED juice. If vitamin E is added, it should be certified as being 100% from natural sources, or it may be synthetic: avoid it. Also take a vitamin B complex which is certified as being 100% of natural origin; a deficiency in vitamin B9 (folic acid, or folate) is known to cause depression. Around 30% - 40% of depressed people have low vitamin B12 levels. Depressed females using the contraceptive pill may benefit from vitamin B6 supplements. ~~~ (2.) Work up slowly to at least 20 minutes minutes of exercise, daily, or 30 - 60 mns, 5 times weekly. Too much exercise can cause stress, which isn't wanted when dealing with depression. ~~~ (3.) Occupational therapy (keeping busy allows little time for unproductive introspection, and keeps mental activity out of less desirable areas of the brain).

(4.) Use daily, a relaxation method* and/or yoga*, and/or Tai Chi. ~~~ (5.) Initially, at least, some form of counselling, preferably either Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavio(u)ral Therapy. ~~~ (6.) Maintain a mood chart, and daily activities schedule. ~~~ (7.) As options, if desired, either a known, effective herbal remedy, such as St. John's wort, (the strength varies, but the supplier should be using a standardised hypericin content, so follow the directions) or supplements, such as SAMe, or Inositol (from vitamin and health food stores, some supermarkets, or mail order: view section 55).

If 5HTP is used to boost serotonin levels, (which are low in depressed people) it is best taken with a high carbohydrate, minimal protein meal, like pasta with tomato & basil, and avoid protein for 90 minutes, before, and after, to maximise the amount crossing the blood/brain barrier.

Also, 80% of people in the Western world have low magnesium levels, and these are known to cause depression & anxiety. Try the magnesium supplement types shown in http://www.real-depression-help.com/ Some of these will be available in pharmacies, or supermarkets. Low levels of calcium, and potassium can also cause depression. Have your blood tested, and correct any deficiencies, preferably through improved nutrition.

An improvement can be noticed in as little as a week, if a deficiency is the cause. Also, iodised salt is much preferable to regular salt (one of the treatments in books on depression is iodine drops). Try to imagine, as vividly as possible, a time in the not too distant future, when you have overcome this temporary setback, and things are much better. *View section 2, on the first 3 pages, and also pages R, C, I, and section 11, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris OCD: section 7. Self harm: section 16. Suicidal thoughts should diminish, with effective treatment for depression.

Answer 3

As it seems you are young, I would say about 15 or 16. You are experiencing life's changes in a whole new way and things get tough as we get older. The best way to battle your depression is to accept the things which you can not change. Bringing harm to your self resolves nothing, and you should STOP IT!.

Your friend sounds like she also has issues and may very well need some guidance also. Not every body you have contact with will always be completely a friend for life. A good friend is some one who is always there and never questions your ability to cope with problems. Always remember If you treat someone poorly they have every right to ignore you.  

Answer 4

You are very insecure.  Nobody wants to be around people like that.  It only causes problems.  My suggestion is to drop the ho with the boyfriend, and never speak to her again.  Quit trying to get her attention by cutting your wrists, or doing retarded things like that.  Don't spy on her, or call, or even return calls from her.  She has to go.  If you want, go see doctor and get anti depression medication.  That "friend" is your problem now, so eliminate the problem and go on.  Don't give it a second thought.  It should be like throwing out the garbage.  And you don't need to tell her you are letting her go either.  Just do it, and you will be happier with yourself.  Oh, and one more thing:  Don't try to go out and ho around with some new guy you meet thinking it will relieve your pain.  That will not work.  At some point in time, the guy will just let you go, and then you will be depressed over a p***s.

Answer 5

I've been depressed before....  And having seen depression from the inside and the outside, I'm afraid to tell you that sounds very much like what you are experiencing.  

I agree.  You should go see a doctor.  But not just to get some anti-depressants.  Depression doesn't just happen because of a chemical imbalance that some happy pills will magically fix.  Depression happens because throughout life we learn thought patterns that keep us in that place.  It is only through learning new ways of thinking and perceiving the world around us that we can escape this trap.  

This is just my opinion, but OCD is largely about trying to express some sense of control over a world we feel powerless in.  Depression is about feeling helpless and a sense of pointlessness to trying.  

However, you don't have to feel this way.  It will take time and effort to learn new ways of seeing the world and gaining a sense of personal power, but you can do this.  And this process sometimes requires the help of someone outside of the emotional storms we feel.  Someone who can be objective.  Someone who can offer a safe place to anchor ourselves and learn how to deal with the feelings you are having.  And through this learning, you don't fall back into the old thought patterns that lead down into this pit you keep finding yourself in.

Hope that helps.

Answer 6

I've been there.  Once I got rif of the "friend" things got a lot better.  The younger you are, the harder it is.  

You must seek help from a doctor.  Trying to OD and cutting yourself are serious signs of more than anxiety and OCD.  You already recognize this; go get some help to overcome it.  As insecure as you are, I'm sure you don't want to be the idiot who offed herself while everyone is still alive talking about you.  I know that's what kept me alive through HS.  Seriously: Go to a doctor.

Answer 7

You can't depend on a friend or anyone to fix your problems, your like feeding off her. Forget about her and get a conselor