PLEASE HELP WITH A THESIS STATEMENT!!!???

Question

I am writing a cause essay (later on will be an effects essay) on the causes for dropping out of college. I have NEVER been good with writing a thesis statement, and this is what I have come up with... can some one please tell me what they think, and if you know how to fix it... let me know!! Thank you sooo much!

"College may seem to be the best idea for any graduating high school senior; however, once they begin their high school career some students experience obstacles that lead to them having to drop out."

Answer 1

That's a pretty good opening in my estimation.  I would clean it up slightly, but it's a good start.

"College may seem to be the best path for most graduating high school seniors; however, once they begin their college careers, they may run into obstacles that force them to drop out."

I switched it all to plural -- seniors, they -- to get noun-verb-pronoun agreement and because you will be introducing a variety of causes.  I suggest you organize these causes into categories to help you organize the rest of the essay -- e.g., money, family, study-related, etc.

Answer 2

I think you have a good start.  Maybe try rephrasing it like this:

"There are many obstacles college freshmen encounter that will lead some to drop out.  As a high school senior college may be the obvious choice however..."

You're doing a good job.  It's tricky but don't give up.  Good luck!

Answer 3

College may be the chosen path but can students surpass the obstacles and make it?

Answer 4

Only about half of each freshman class each year ever graduates. It is not that freshmen students are not intelligent, and the reasons half drop out are many. Some merely get homesick, others transfer to different colleges, and still others leave for personal or economic reasons. Yet a large number of students do leave for academic reasons, and most of these students never graduate because they do not realize the time and dedication to study that success in college requires.

Answer 5

The challenges faced by high school students may lead them to end their educational career without graduating.