PLEASE HELP! Wedding dress shopping...

Question

My mom refuses to help me even though I always grew up thinking I'd pick it out with her someday. My Dad's mom (who is the only one that has helped my fiance and I financially with it) would love to help but I think this would make me even more sad and on top of that, p**s off my mom since she hates my Dad's mom (that's actually one of the reasons she divorced him). I'm not very close with my Grandma but also feel down when my sister and I are looking for dresses and I see all these other girls with their mom's.

Any ideas on what I should do?

Answer 1

Ask your grandmother to go with you. She cares enough to want to go and obviously loves you very much since she is helping you out with the wedding. It's unfortunate that your mother would cheat herself out of this experience with you - but, you will have your sister and grandmother there. It can still be special.

I know that you think you might get sad, but try not to let her ruin it that special moment for you. When you think about it just think to yourself, "It's her loss!"

You are going to be with people who obviously care about you. They will get to be there for that special moment when you find "the dress."

I am sorry that your mom doesn't want to be a part of it - but take comfort in knowing that there are people who want to be involved. Don't let your mom ruin this for you.  

Answer 2

I have a rocky relationship with my dad, not my mum, but I was sad too when I decided he wouldn't be walking me down the aisle, etc. Then I decided to just focus on the people who love you, and not worry about tradition too much.

I know it's traditional for your mum to go shopping with you, but it doesn't have to be that way. Taking your nan sounds like a nice idea. You said you weren't close but the fact that she would like to go shows she loves you, and it might be an opportunity to develop a closer relationship with her. Or if you don't want to do that, take your bridesmaids.

Good luck and try and stay happy and focussed on the good stuff!

Answer 3

I'm still stuck on the "my mom refuses to help me" part.  The rest is inconsequential.  Why is she refusing?  Does she hate dress shopping?  Is she against the marriage?  What?

Either way, go with someone who YOU will have fun with.  Sounds like your sister is there for you.  Ask almost any one of those brides if they'd rather go with or without their mom, and if they're far enough along with the wedding planning, they may have said without!  Moms can be pushy.  

Answer 4

Go with your sister and a good friend. Wedding dress shopping can be stressful enough without having to worry about the issues you're dealing with. Sorry you're mom is being such a putz. If you want your grandmother to go, then ask her, but don't feel like you have to out of guilt. Let her help with something else if you don't feel that close to her.

I went by myself because I didn't want to have umpteen opinions. I ended up buying my dress online. My step-mother was a little disappointed she didn't get to go, but we went veil and tiara shopping together. We had an awesome time. I took my dress, and we did the whole thing. We were there for about 2 hours trying on just veils and tiaras! Later she said, "I'm so glad we didn't go dress shopping together - there were so many dresses it would have been overwhelming, and we would have never gotten out of there!" She couldn't have been more right.

Maybe your mom or grandmother will help you pick out the shoes or something. Good luck!

I can't imagine asking my grandmother (when she was alive) or my husband's grandmother to go! Their tastes are SO different than mine, and people can get really pushy with their opinions if it's their money and they are in the store with you. I wouldn't take the grandmother.

Answer 5

Sorry if this sounds blunt . . .

Let go of the fantasy.  Not every woman has her mother help her pick out a wedding dress.  There are a million and six reasons why not and your situation just adds one more.  you'll just make yourself miserable 'moping' about what you don't have

Take a friend or your sister and be happy that you have found a person you want to spend your life with and your health and the financial means to buy a dress.