PLEASE Help With My Poem "Gerbil"?

Question

"Gerbil"

For a year I’d been trapped in my cage,

All alone, not a friend or an enemy near;

Only Them, Those who kept me, and watched me, and fed me.

I’d die in that cage, it was clear.

As I ran in my wheel and I dreamt

Of the world; something real, something new, something clean…

I could see all the trees, I could feel the warm breeze

But I knew I was far from such green.

But at last I grew sick of that style of life

I should eat what I find in the grass, not a bowl,

I should drink from a pond, and be free just to wander.

If only I knew how it feels to be whole.

So when He came to feed me, I jumped on His arm

And I leapt from the drag of my world.

In a frenzy, I ran through the room and escaped

Just one breath of true life, then the images swirled.

When I woke, I was back on the bed of my cage

And I wondered if life is a dream.

Even now as I scratch at the glass with my paws

I remember the small piece of world that I’ve seen.

And I know that I’ll try to the day that I die

To escape and be free once again.

In that second I lived and I lived, If I’d died

I would not have known life till the end.

Answer 1

I thought it was a dream, but now that i read it again it does make it sound like he passed out. So either way you shouldn't change it.  I like it how it is :D

Will you plz check my poems out:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 2

Let me see if I got your meaning or if it is the meaning that you want to convey. The images swirled are that of the subject. His life on the  wheel, spinning at the clip of his run... when you suddenly stop, all that is still now has a dizzying motion. And for a tiny mind as the gerbil, it was too much too handle, we as humans close our eyes to intercept the total experience of vertigo.  Did I hit the mark? Thank you for sharing your prose.

Answer 3

That is really good. And yes I got the message that was passed out.