PLEASE READ: Do you think that we are endangering our guests in any way?

Question

We are putting X amount of money down for open bar for our reception. We're going to add more if need be on the night of our reception. Anyhow, my parents are not in agreement and think that people should pay for their own drinks. I disagree...I want to provide them for our guests. They are concerned that some guests may be inclined to drink more since the drinks are free, leave the reception and get into an accident. I know that you cannot prepare for every scenario, but do you think that we're endangering our guests by having an open bar? Is this wrong?

Answer 1

Usually when you have an open bar people do drink more because the drinks are free, but they are still adults, and should be aware they have to drive home.

You can have vouchers available for cab rides, or a shuttle back to the hotel where out of towners are staying.  Also, normally the open bar will stop serving alcohol about an 30 minutes to an hour before the party ends, so people have a chance to have some water, or a coffee with the midnight buffet.  The midnight buffet is also a chance for guests to get some food in their systems and sober up before they leave.

You should also give bar tenders permission to cut anyone off that has had too much to drink.  Be sure and ask if the bartenders at your venue are Smart Serve certified (if you live in Ontario).

Good Luck!

Answer 2

This is a problem. Certainly, guests with respect and honour control drinking. Some drink like fish until they`re a `Drunk Dungan`!

Do you have many friends like those?

Answer 3

I would hope that those who decide to drink more than their fair share DO Have a designated driver to get them home in one piece.. Perhaps you can have a list of people who can get them home safely at the end of the evening. Even if it was a Cash Bar, believe me, people would bring enough money to keep up with their drinking binges.  

Answer 4

You have to have an open bar...cash bars are very tacky.  Maybe you can provide some transportation after the reception back to a hotel?  or have cab numbers available at the exit.

Answer 5

If you are inviting adults to your wedding, you have to trust that adults will drink responsibly.  I have never been to a wedding that didnt' have open bar and such not one has ever ended in a tragic scenario.  It's really the reception hall's responsibility to make sure no one is over served.

Answer 6

Making people pay for their drinks is ultra-tacky, and no guarantee that they won't get dangerously drunk. Whether the drinks are free or not, you, the venue, and the bartenders are liable if one of your guests causes a wreck.

Better that you and your parents should sit down in advance with the caterer and the groom's family and talk about how the staff and the hosts should handle guests who drink too much.  

Answer 7

Hi.  I don't know what state you live in, but here in Michigan the drinking/driving laws are strict.  Most bartenders (at bars and banquets) WILL (and can legally) refuse to serve anyone who is obviously intoxicated.

Also, here in Michigan the hotel/venue is responsible if someone is involved in an accident.  I have been to many, many receptions (ALL with drinking involved), and I have never known anyone to get into an accident.  Most people around here have designated drivers.

Another thing.  This was done at one of my sister's weddings....shut the bar down about 1 hour prior to the end of the reception.  Put out some snacks and sodas/lemonade, etc.

Hope this helps.

Answer 8

I had an open bar at my wedding and it was fine!  Usualy bartenders at a hotel or other wedding venue are very good at cutting people off when they have had too much to drink.  

Answer 9

We had a full open bar for cocktails, then another 5-6  hours after dinner. You have a bartender hired, who is a professional trained to watch out for drunks.

Most guests come to a wedding to celebrate, not to just drink free all night. The reason for having an open bar is simply to host your guests properly, to offer to them what you can.

We had ours at a hotel, as you are, and many of the guests stayed there as well.

And BTW having a cash bar doesn't change any matter of liability...

Answer 10

It depends on the state as to what the dram laws are. They have wedding insurance for this reason. Check out your state laws.

Answer 11

I think that people that will get drunk at a wedding will do it for free or if they have to pay for it, they just might be upset if they have to pay. Talk to the bartended to be sure they will cut off people that look more than a little tispy. Keep an eye on guests and talk to a few people close to you to be sure they do the same. If someone looks like they shouldn't be driving, have someone nicely discuss getting a cab.

Answer 12

I agree with your parents.  Provide your guests with champagne to toast the bride and groom and then let them fend for themselves.  Your money is much better spent investing in your future.

Answer 13

at my reception we had open bar and let me tell u when there is free alcohol every1 gets loose they will drink glass after glass and i mean down them in no time flat the people at my wedding were so rude we purchased jager for jager bombs and people were going to the bar having the bartender give them full glasses of just jager and that stuff aint cheap at all we had at least 50 bottles of liquor and within 3 hours in2 the reception it was all gone and we only had about 100 people there so that much liquor should have lasted all 6 hours so becareful because they really do take advantage of free drinks  

Answer 14

A cash bar at a wedding is in very poor taste. You are certainly not endangering anyone by providing refreshments for your guests. I'm sure that your guests are not so hard up for a drink or so socially backward that they will overindulge simply because you provide alcohol.

In general, more drinks are poured at an open bar event in large part because guests are much more likely to set a drink down, forget about it and get another when they aren't paying.

Just be sure to provide a nice coffee service toward the end of your reception with little pastries - not because an alert drunk should be on the road but because the arrival of the coffee service signals guests to stop drinking.  

Answer 15

There is a possibility that people will drink to excess and then attempt to drive home. There is also a possibility that if they do drive home drunk and become injured or injure someone else, you could legally be held responsible in some way. There are many examples where bars have been sued for serving drunk patrons and then having them kill themselves or others driving home. Something to consider.  

Answer 16

You have other options

Have a dry wedding without any booze if you think your guests can't handle alcohol

Offer ONLY beer, wine and one signature cocktail and champagne for toasting

Having guests pay for the drinks is as wrong as having them pay for their meal.

As for liability: Does your caterer provide coverage? If so, find out how much. You may find that the hall carries some liability coverage too. \

Ask the caterer or the reception venue about this.

Answer 17

There's no reason to feel like you have to pay for everyone's drinks (you could do so many better things with the money - like pay for a house), but if you feel like you have to, there are several ways to handle it.

First of all, there should be a bartender. It is the bartender's responsibility to not serve anyone who looks like they are intoxicated. Companies are extremely careful about obeying this because it is the law - and there could be severe financial repercussions on them if someone later got into an accident. You will probably not be held responsible - the bartender and company he or she works for will be, and possibly the venue (they have insurance and more money to go after and it is easier to go after them and actually get the money than to go after the private parties who hired the bartender/caterer). You should not have to bring this up at all. A good catering company will broach the subject and write the terms of alcohol service and cut-off Right in the Contract!

Of course, if anyone got into an accident you would pay with a lot of guilt and remorse for the rest of your lives. If someone is sneaking extra drinks for their drunk spouse or friend, there's not really anything you can do about it.

Another way I have seen this done (which many people have told me they think is tacky while others have said they liked it), was to give everyone twenty-one and older two (or sometimes three, but usually two) tokens for drinks. (Kind of like they do at Comedy Clubs and some night clubs.) Once that person spends their two free tokens, they can buy more alcohol if they want, if the bartender is willing to sell it to them. Sodas and non-alcoholic drinks are still free. Plus, everyone gets one free glass of champagne during the toast (so that is usually their third free drink).

Many people like this idea because it usually limits the amount of alcohol that everyone is consuming, at least to a degree. And really, three free drinks over a couple of hours is pretty good - I mean how much alcohol do these people need?

Some people (like me) rarely consume any alcohol, especially when they are the designated drivers at events (I am ALWAYS the designated driver), so obviously those tokens go to someone else. But people tend to not give their tokens to someone who is obviously having way too much to drink (which doesn't really matter, because the bartender could not legally serve that person anyway). No one gets crazy-drunk (obviously this shouldn't happen with the bartender there!). And the bride and groom know in advance about how much it will cost.

Answer 18

The limosine service me and my fiance have chosen will drive guests home from the reception who have had too much to drink. Look into a limosine service who provides this service included in the package. I think our limo package cost about $1200 and it includes driving *me* around for the entire day including back and forth from my hair and makeup appointments and drop off at the airport and pick up from the airport after we get back from the honeymoon, and they will also take any guests home who have had too much to drink.  

Answer 19

well tell everyone to please be responsible. I think an open bar is almost necessary, so good, everyone can get into the spirit. Obviously you guys are celebrating maybe you should get some taxis or something for after, just in case someone did party too hard.

Answer 20

have a two drink stop! pay for only two drinks a person after that they have to pay form there own

Answer 21

Yes, and with the legal climate the way it is now if one of your guests drinks too much and gets in an accident, they could probably sue you.

Don't give them their booze. Let them buy it. Or at least give them a free "2 drink limit" and after that they are responsible for what they consume.

I for one don't see why people have to drink at social functions anyway. Are they there to honor your marriage or to get drunk?

Answer 22

While it is probably true that some guests will be inclined to drink more with an open bar versus a cash bar, the bartender still should be cutting people off who have had too much to drink.  In addition, I assume your guests are responsible adults who would know that they had over indulged and should not drive.

Answer 23

i agree with you. people get excited about going to a wedding with an open bar. an open bar allows everyone to relax and not worry about the bar tab. definately allow the bartender to cut people off. i think people will drink more, everyone loves free stuff, but it will make the night more fun!

Answer 24

For my wedding we bought a couple kegs and bottles of wine, then if anyone wanted anything else we told them in advance byob. Just make sure your host has the number for a taxi service handy, or find a rides service. Also if you're blocking off any hotels for guest, pick a hotel that is close or has a shuttle service.

Answer 25

Your guests are adults. It is up to them to make sure that they get home safely - not you. They need to be responsible no matter who is going to be providing the drinks.

If you want to, you can always cut off the open bar a few hours before the reception is scheduled to end. But either way, you cannot control every aspect and you certainly cannot control other people's actions.

That is the last thing you need to be worrying about on your wedding night. People need to be responsible for themselves. You are merely being generous to your guests. If they decide to overindulge then that's their problem; not yours.