PLEASE read and help!! My husband filed for full custody of our son! What do I do! PLEASE!?

Question

What to do to win custody after husband filed for full custody over 2 yr old son? PLEASE help!!!?

My husband and I have been separated about three months. (He walked out.) I have always been the primary caretaker of our 2 year old son. In the past three months, he has resided with me in our home. My husband has had frequent visitation with him. We both have attorney's, although, until recently, nothing has been filed. My attorney and I "offered" my husband joint legal and me having primary physical custody and he would have him every other weekend, half holidays, one night a week, and so on and so forth. Well he wouldn't agree and said that his lawyer would draw up something for us to "consider." Well, too my surprise, I was served with papers stating that he wanted full custody with me just having visitation and paying him child support and paying his attorney fees. I am appaled because I would never have thought of trying to get full custody and keeping my son from him. But now I wonder if I should since he is. I don't know much about the legal system. I am a good mother. I have no criminal history. Don't do drugs, smoke or drink. My husband lives in a 2 bedroom home with his grandparents, mom, sister and cousin. I don't know how he thinks he is going to raise our son there too. I love my husband and can't believe he would be so hurtful in spite. I know the courts look at what's in the best interest of the child. We have mediation in about a week. What will happen there? What should I do or "offer"? My husband kept my son 2 weekends ago and brought him back at the correct time but later said he shouldn't have brought him back. Therefore, I am scared to let him keep him again until I have papers stating he has to. I didn't let him keep him this weekend like he asked to because of that. I don't know if I can get in trouble for that or not? I still let him see him at our home almost everyday he wants. I'm just scared he's going to take off with him. I don't believe he wants him full time. I think it's just in spite. I know he loves our son, but he has no idea how to raise him. What are the chances of him getting what he has asked for?

Answer 1

Since you have been the caregiver to your son all this time, for him to gain full custody, he would have to prove you an unfit mother.  However, you need to have an emergency meeting with your attorney to go over this.  Let your attorney fight your battle for you.  Just watch your back and don't let your son out of your sight.   If your husband has a visitation coming up, talk to your attorney about it first.  There is a possibility that he will not bring your son back.  Be very careful.  Be paranoid.  See if there is an emergancy court order that will force him to bring your son back.  As in temporary visitation orders.

Answer 2

If he takes off with him before he gets full custody, then that is kidnapping and he could face some prison time for that.

If you have a job and a home to provide for your son, and no criminal or drug background, then don't worry. Your husband lives with his mom and other family members. The judge will take all of that into consideration. You better file yourself for full custody asap as well.

You have also been the primary care giver. I don't think you have too much to worry about at all. Good Luck!  

Answer 3

I am in a similar situation but different. My soon-to-be ex wife decided that she wanted to go out and get f*ked up and smoke crack. I told her to leave and I have our 4 month old son. She is threatening to come to my house and take him from his grandma while I am at work. Here is what the law is in Texas:

1. Untill you have court orders it's 50/50 custody ALTHOUGH you can keep the child from seeing the other parent until the court order is finalized. If you are at home and he/she comes banging on the door, DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR and call the police. He/she will be given a criminal trespass warning and will be asked to leave. If he/she comes back its criminal trespass and will go to jail. If they force entry into the house it is felony burglary with intent to commit a felony. BUT if you are in a public place like wal-mart and the other parent comes and takes the child out of your basket then there is nothing you can do. THAT parent has custody till the court hearing.

Ok, lets say you have a court order and the other parent comes to get the child and doesnt bring him back...Don't bother calling the police. It's considered a CIVIL matter and not kidnapping. The police will tell you this and will not get involved in civil matters unless a criminal act is being committed. Your only option is to contact your lawyer and let him know that the court order has been violated by the other parent. The judge will decide the punishment for the other parent. If you are a good parent and he is a good parent most likely you will get joint shared custody with you having physical custody meaning deciding where he goes to school, doctor, hospital, etc. Good luck with this...My wife is an evil B*Tch and she thinks she is gonna get full custody of our son. she doesnt even have anywhere to live and is currently in rehab for drug abuse...

Answer 4

Well i got mine when he was 2 months old and my daughter when she was 13 that was 5 years ago but the thing is i never left my kids . She told me to get out i refused i just bought this home paid cash and wasn,t going anywhere she was the cheater so i told her to go and like a fool she did and the courts looked at it as she abandoned the children just as your husband did .  You said he was doing that in spite but not in spite of what . Maybe another man perhaps ? Frankly im glad men are finally standing up to woman and the court system and happy that woman have equal rights as well . Men can take care of children just as well as woman can im living proof of that . Thing is being that woman are equal what makes you think you can do a better job with the child ? Is it because you are a woman ? If thats it then in no way are you equals to man . Thats just admitting that woman are indeed different then man so how possibly can they be equel    

Answer 5

I think he's just being a jerk. I feel sorry for you. What does your lawyer say? My sister and her ex take turns. They each get the     s for a week. It seems to work for them, but they are trying to work together so it's easier. Good luck.  

Answer 6

File for full custody yourself...unless you are proven unfit I doubt very much of the courts will give the little boy over to your ex....the most likely scenario is you with primary physical custody, a visitation & holiday schedule.and joint legal custody..until then do not let him have the boy because of the threat of not bringing him back.

you cannot get in legal trouble for refusing to let hm keep the boy for overnights & weekends-there is no court order in effect and your ex did threaten to keep the boy....

As far as you paying his lawyer's fees....lol aint gonna happen, Hon.

Family court will do what they think is best for the boy-at his young age and the fact that children bond strongly to the mother, as long as he is happy and thriving in your primary care it would be detrimental to take him away from you. On top of the the kind of home that the boy will be provided is important...your ex's living situation is not what the courts want to see...where will they boy sleep? Only two bedrooms with 2 grandparents, a mother, a sister and a cousin sharing them? wow....let your attorney fight this out.....good luck.

Answer 7

Wish i could tell you right now but that is the judges job. one thing that might help you is to keep a log of all contact.  if you call him to see his kid and he don't show up. highlight those or even when he is late. just keep a full log. even when you do something wrong. it will show good character.. i know it has to be hard to not want him to go but he is his son too and that might not look good.

just let the court do the dirty work.

I wish you luck..  

Answer 8

Are you listing to what you wrote.

Answer 9

File for full physical custody of your son. It's time to take off the gloves and for you to put aside any love you have for your husband and put the welfare of your son first. It would be nice if everyone could have a nice friendly divorce, but 9 times out of 10 it doesn't work that way. Some body always wants to get mean and nasty and turn it into a battle.

Like you said, you have been the primary caregiver of your child and your husband is living with all those relatives. Chances are he doesn't want to pay child support or take on the responsibility of taking care of your child and he thinks he will be able to get his family to take care of the child for him.

When you go to mediation tell them about his living conditions and he has threatened to take your son for visitation and not bring him back to you. You want him to have supervised visitation at this time, because he has proved that you can't trust him to bring your son back home after their visit. Also your husband can not provide a proper home for your son to stay at during his visitation. A 2 bedroom with 6 people living in, plus your son is not satisfactory living conditions for a child.

Your husband is taking advantage of the fact that you love him and using your son as a weapon for revenge. You need to put a stop to that and take control of the situation.

I'd say your chances of getting full custody of your son is very good, but you have to be a strong woman and put your foot down. Your first concern must be to protect your son, give him a good life, and never EVER let your husband get away with using your son as a weapon.  

Answer 10

he dont have a chance.unless your are not worthy.as for lawyers.you dont know what trouble is until you get one.watch him like a hawk.ask him how much he is going to charge.and when he tells you he dont know.(and he will)tell him you will try to find some one else.if he is a divorce lawyer.why is it that he dont know.good luck.be bold.the only thing you have to lose is your money.